John Michael White

Footballers who pretend to be more hurt than they are should be forced to visit an 8 year old child who's dressed up as a doctor on the side of the pitch, and only be allowed to come back on when said child is bored of using their toy stethoscope and bandages on them.

I miss the days before social media when people cared about actual football, not personality cults that lead to ridiculous worthless nonsense like Ballon d'bleddy'Or fever. It would get a lot less "prestige" if they called it what it is - "Journalists' Player of the Year".

"What do you think?" "I dunno, I'm not saying it's not good...as such...I'm just...for some reason...unsettled by it. Yeah, unsettled. Can't put my finger on it..." "So it's good you say? Brilliant! We'll use it!"

No-one adores Suede's genius more than me, and I'm so delighted they got nominated, and showed themselves to be a vital band still at a creative peak, but I'm glad they didn't win. Would be like a great 60s band robbing them of their win in 93 - the kids deserve their moment bsky.app/profile/sued...

I saw a screenshot of this and had to go and check if it was real. How can you be the BBC’s cyber correspondent and not have heard of PHP before yesterday? *And* now be talking confidently about it on the news. www.bbc.co.uk/news/live/ck...

Honestly could not recommend @mythic-beasts.com any more than I do if you want something hosting. On what will have been a bugger of a day their handling of the PHP disaster has been brilliant. Great communication, and my site's already back up and running, with PHP patches applied. Top work chaps!

I do disagree with Tim. I don't think we'll see rioting here. We are the least racist nations on earth. One where people who looked different stood together in the Second World War.

Every generation: "We'll invent our own in-jokes and often ironically used phrases to distinguish ourselves from the old folk". Every generation when they're the old folk: "the in-jokes and phrases younger generations use irritate me strangely..." bsky.app/profile/youg...

What a *magnificent* sound this is, massively stayed with me since first listen. youtu.be/B452TVVco2Q?...

The real twin paradox is that your twin that's been to space is both younger than you, and can say that they've been to space, so is quite attractive for that. There's no yin to any of that yang.

So Lauren James in the away leg, and Georgia Stanway tonight, both level by the meaning of the word, with two of the best goals you'll see, both ruled out by VAR for being fractions of a thou offside. The sooner Wenger's daylight rule comes in the better.

So for one reason or another I had Radio 1 on for half an hour while driving just now ... happy to report the kids are doing some *magnificent* pop music. Well done kids.

Finally, a Le Tissier good enough to score for England #Lionesses

Who thought the best way to encourage people to "save" water was an advert where a load of insufferable kids drive you to want to shut them up with a hose pipe?

The problem with "only a matter of time till we score" is that that's how many a "one of those days" seemed to feel for a bit. Come on England! #Lionesses

"Fuck me, Liz fucking Truss."

When someone tells you who they are, believe them

I assume it's just the wind and he doesn't actually have hair like Kim Jong Un

Norman Lament.

Probably as good a time and place as any to make something very clear, despite it being summat that shouldn't need saying: I'm a Zionist.

Full Zionism is Racism motion passed by 1022 votes to 813. The Greens are now officially an antisemitic party.

Roman Space Telescope's pointing is next-level. Imagine aiming a laser at a dime from 150 miles away – that's its stability! This precision just let its coronagraph grab its first cosmic light, truly opening up our search for exoplanets.

Nobody I've ever seen has made the hardest thing in football, sticking the ball in the net, look easier than Harry Kane does. Genius. #EngCro #ThreeLions

Children may well be the future, but that doesn't preclude them being irritating little shits in the present #EngCro #ThreeLions

Being hit with Iranian missiles and drones might have undermined their appetite for all sorts of things, but still, the RAF was there for them when they needed help recently... bsky.app/profile/laur...

There should be a phrase for the specific trepidation you feel when you sit down to watch a TV/film adaptation of a book you really adore.

Well-deserved. The guy is a hero and an inspiration

We know that the Good Law Project wasn't Man City's defence team, they'd have put out press releases describing getting them a not guilty on that one charge as a stunning legal victory.

In the Southern hemisphere, because of the coriolis effect, footballers are only ever described as having "a wand of a right foot".

Golden lads and girls all must, as chimney fucking sweepers, come to dust.

You'll know when Helen Lewis is aged because it'll be when it's almost universally agreed she's a national treasure.

2020? Hope they're socially distanced #MadForItIsntIt

It is weird that the good people of Weetabix have an ad campaign that's basically "please buy some, we're not as popular as we used to be".

Can't talk, checking YouTube to see if there's a pilot episode of Thomas the Tank Engine narrated by Pete Best.

The latest grim assertion from an emboldened far right is that, however hard they try to integrate, migrants and their descendants can never be English Piece by me on a modern revival of dark racial fantasies

I'm never going to be middle aged then, because I'm planning to live forever. You may think this is unrealistic, but I've got to tell you, so far, so good. bsky.app/profile/youn...

I need to know exactly nothing bsky.app/profile/mirr...

The updates George Lucas made after its initial release, both visually, and to the story itself, obviously make it a much better film bsky.app/profile/thes...