Miranda Marie

Hi if you’re more outraged that Obama made a (hilarious) joke about the Cheesecake Factory and not about the President being accused of rape (again) then you’re scum thank you for listening

“Liberals are the new racists” seems like a good way to get Republicans to vote liberal

If you are too young to really remember the Obama years, conservatives were like this every single day. He really did just break their brains.

ALMOST SPIT OUT MY DRINK

Hell yeah brother - you’re so close to incriminating yourself

Couldn’t ever remember my age in my 30s, but can remember all of Usher’s confessions

The clitoris has about 8,000 nerve endings. It was long considered the most sensitive thing about the human body, until it was surpassed by Pat McAfee's ego yesterday.

“Sir, we booked two of the biggest loser QBs of all time and a guy who once caught passes from Tom Brady for fifteen minutes.”

Every night on every stage:

The moral of this story is Marissa is a shitty mother

Yup - what happened to the game I love?

Time to trade for 28 - come home, King

Simpson-y clouds

Once again reminding everyone that I would not be as cool and funny without the influence of my best friend (mom) @marywil61.bsky.social ☠️💚💛 Yes, she wore this to the bar.

Todd Bowles getting his job saved today huh

I apologize in advance 😬 🍻 see ya at the hospital. And @ktompkinsii.bsky.social

Drink every time National Tight Ends Day is mentioned! 🍺

The biggest lie of capitalism is that it is efficient and justly rewards people for their labor and efforts

Still marveling at the fact that they have this many QBs

😭😭😭😭😭

WERE TAKING IT BACK

LMAOOOO yea im sure Ossoff cries himself to sleep nightly because he doesn’t rock 2X Pull-Ups on the regular. Just shut the fuck up, dude.

Translation: packed house

Hokies, Badgers, Brewers all on at the same time. They are competing with my tylenol PM. 💤

I hate being a white woman some days because of cunts like her

Just a wee bit stressed. Going to reward myself/feed it with beer tomorrow! That’ll do wonders!

In my nephew’s snack bag @ t-ball (4yo) Stop. Pushing. Religion. You. Freaks. I told my brother to put mini pride flags when they do snacks. But contrary to Christian bullshit rhetoric, people don’t push LGBTQ lifestyle down anyone’s throat. It’s quite the opposite. Holy shit where’s the Tylenol

Eating Reese’s dipped pretzels for brunch yay

LIKE TO CHARGE REPOST TO CAST

Turning into Barrelman tomorrow for football Sunday 🤘🏽

I would love nothing more than to beat Clemson tonight. #HokieHokieHokieHi

Just blame Joe Bottomin

Those arteries are bubbling

The “once great” state of Minnesota is now full of Somali immigrants… like this one. www.goodmorningamerica.com/news/story/2...

I just heard the dumbest fucking version of the ABC song and now I’m just pissed off

Naming my next child Charles