Jason

Marquez can’t turn with a full tank Plus heat , plus right hander Expecting him finish 7th or 8th

The Bathurst rhetoric/hyperbole 1000 Decent commentary would be nice

For sale, baby shoes, never worn

“But soft, what light through yonder window breaks? It is the east, and Juliet is the fucking sun"

My five year old has the soul of Orson Welles. We were outside school and he 'put a kiss in my pocket for later.' Extremely touched by this, I gave him two back. He dug out the second one, THEATRICALLY CRUSHED IT IN HIS FIST and said 'one is enough.'

Angry was a dick ……🤷‍♂️

Christening a baby is nothing like christening a ship. I know that now. Once again I can only apologise.

Marquez will do something stupid on the first lap

Eine schöne Bastel- und Malarbeit. Manchmal trägt Obelix den Hinkelstein. Manchmal ist Obelix der Hinkelstein. Dürfte nicht leicht gewesen sein, diesen Stein zu finden. #Asterix #Fanart

Marquez pushes Martin wide like he does because he’s not as strong anymore Martin’s best sprint race Acosta …..😳

Being a selfish cunt IS NOT THE DEFAULT HUMAN CONDITION People forget this Though I do wonder sometimes

My SIL is teaching remotely at a school in southern Illinois and I was not ready to learn about the mascot

The trap is set , now we wait #cattrap

PROTECT WOMEN'S SPORTS by paying them equal salaries

Tonight’s dessert Tart Tatin

The King of Norway has gone into hospital and because Norway is like that, his doctor has sent a formal sick note to the Royal Household’s HR department.

Hard sore day today Feel like crap Surely its got to get better

Me *screams into the abyss* 5 seconds later The abyss * we would like to talk to you about your cars extended warranty *

Wife bought 4 tiki torches from Bunnings So I guess we’re Nazis now 🤷‍♂️

Everyone needs to just stop for a minute and look at my new T-shirt. This is by the simply unhinged/wonderful @jaunty.art JUST LOOK AT IT!!

Be alert , we need more lerts

15yo step daughter: you woke me up with all your laughing this morning Me: it could’ve been worse 15: (dawning realisation) Ewwwwwwwwwwwww Me her mum : bahahahahahaha 15:(runs away screaming)

My husband texted me "IT HAPPENED" but it turned out to be about LeBron going to the 76ers. I had 2 minutes of beautiful serenity.

Everyone on here be like “oh yes I am a games designer with very strong opinions”, meanwhile here’s Anna age 12 out-designing all of you with her amazing pavement games. G’aun yersel, Anna.

Don’t blame the dog. He was clearly just reacting to the constant dog whistling

Been using a Nivea antiperspirant lately which is absolutely useless. Out in town, sweating like hell, I stopped by Superdrug and grabbed the cheapest alternative: Lynx. Say what you will about it, but I was dry as a bone after using it. As I'm sure was any woman who smelt me.

It’s not just you. There’s a whole “mumble crisis” apparently www.youtube.com/shorts/mYsPN...

I like individual English people But “The English” get everything they deserve 🤷‍♂️

Birkenstocks make a version of crocs And they don’t call them Birkencrocs And they wonder why people hate them

Corrupt ??? My god would she just disappear already

Remember the dot com crash? That but for Ai

In a world of Lindsey Grahams, be the Sam Neill

I’m going away , I can’t watch all this love for Sam Neil I’m in tears , I’ll be back later

Sam Neil??? No …….this feels like my favourite uncle has died Vale you wonderful wonderful man

IYKYK

So, I found out on Friday that my gig at the Guardian is coming to an end in late August. Needless to say I'm rather bummed by this development AND in need of a new job so if anyone's looking for a cartoonist HMU.

No statement from Mitch McConnell on the sudden passing of his senate colleague? So much for decorum

Lindsay Graham is dead. "I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." - Clarence Darrow.

You ABSOLUTELY CAN speak ill of the dead If they wanted to be remembered better they should’ve been better Cunts

Lindsey Graham, longtime South Carolina senator, dies at 71 www.washingtonpost.com/politics/202...