Frank A. Spring

Why does this Sesame Street toy look like Grover is reenacting Poe's The Cask of Amontillado

spare a thought for the dismayed markets, won’t you

i am inviting anyone from a legacy media organization to explain to me why the house judiciary dems report on trump’s epstein’s ties and multiple allegations of rape isn’t worthy of extensively reporting on. i’m serious. i want to understand.

strong closing message to trot out 2014’s worst fantasy football team

It makes me really happy that with all the handwringing about NIL, portal, dumb congressional labor smashing, and the rest of the miscellaneous horseshit, this sport can still deliver a truly idiotic product. Can’t break something that was never meant to work in the first place.

AI-giant IPOs are fundamentally about socializing risk at the expense of retail investors and, especially, pension and retirement funds

devastating news for below-replacement-level fascists and two-bit crooks the world over

Lula winning is great for the planet, great for Brazil, and great for people who aren't revanchist assholes everywhere in the world, but let's not forget that it's also going to make some of the worst people on Earth extremely sad and mad. We should enjoy that, as a little treat.

we must not idealize the cheesecake factory. even with cheesecake automation, it's brutal physical labor with no rest ever since the advent of cheesecake taylorism

RANK THE LOBOS YOU COWARDS RANK EM HIGH

GOOD MORNING

that’s how we do it. we lull you into a false sense of security with our stunning vistas and our green chile cheeseburgers and carne adovada and our apparent lack of a passing game and right when you‘re thinking ”ah this really is the Land of Enchantment“ BAM it’s matanza time pal and you’re the pig

PSA: everyone‘s a lobo, woof woof woof

god damn guys

MAJESTIC FOOTBALL

When the US Patent Office informs you that someone already invented truck nuts.

more like LinkedIn Riley because he's about to be open to work

not altogether what you want

The New Mexico turquoise jersey with Route 66 helmet is so good.

where the hell did this all come from

hasn’t portales suffered enough

agog

on the other hand I’ve never said anything bad about Will Muschamp, rumors to the contrary are lies spread by my many enemies

I’ve said a lot about Sark (and will again! And will mean it!), but what on earth can you do with that

goodNESS

wait ole miss are road dogs? who on earth set this line? have they watched Texas at all?

you there, boy! What day is it? why it’s Scott frost Day sir what the fuck is that? what are you talking about?

The Big 12 does not care if you live or die

never has it been more important or less likely that a football game end

split-screen Indiana/Michigan and WVU/TCU and it’s Inside You Are Two Wolves if one wolf were a top forensic accountant and the other a guy whose primary occupation is mescaline

WVU/TCU playing the platonic ideal of a Big12 game as the refs rule that a play that could easily have been a fumble followed by an antic scramble, or simply an incomplete pass, never occurred at all. they should do that more often. ”no idea what that shit was, replay the down”

PSA: everyone‘s a lobo, woof woof woof

Get up it’s gameday

looking back, the nail in the coffin for me with these idiots was the holly rowe incident. i didn’t exactly expect better, but we’re allowed to hope and be disappointed. and boy howdy, weren’t we just? but, shamefully, i knew there was no chance sark would be fired over it. So fire him now!

i don't ask much. i expect the coaching staff of the longhorns to fuck up in literally incredible ways. the book of sark is written, and this its dominant theme. but goddamn boys, have the decency to fuck up PERSONALLY. don't use AI for it. i want artisanal errors. INTENTIONAL, HAND-SHIT BEDS only

PLEASE PUT IN THE NEWSPAPER THAT I GOT MAD

now with negative sentiment bias intact: WHAT THE FUCK YOU FUCKING IDIOTS sure, why not? why build a working offense when you can construct one that objectively and luridly sucks and then let AI make the crucial decisions for you at the critical moment FIRE EM ALL AND LET GOD SORT EM OUT fuck this

suppressing my negative sentiment bias toward this Texas regime, it seems to me: 1) notionally, "AI processes tons of known data to give a directional recommendation on a playcall" is not altogether insane 2) in practice, it's a gilded invitation to drown signal in noise 3) fire Sark on the tarmac

some remarkably cursed findings here, i am afflicted by a great and nameless terror, flawless work