%20--%3E%3Cmetadata%20xmlns%3Ardf%3D%22http%3A%2F%2Fwww.w3.org%2F1999%2F02%2F22-rdf-syntax-ns%23%22%20xmlns%3Axsi%3D%22http%3A%2F%2Fwww.w3.org%2F2001%2FXMLSchema-instance%22%20xmlns%3Adc%3D%22http%3A%2F%2Fpurl.org%2Fdc%2Felements%2F1.1%2F%22%20xmlns%3Adcterms%3D%22http%3A%2F%2Fpurl.org%2Fdc%2Fterms%2F%22%3E%3Crdf%3ARDF%3E%3Crdf%3ADescription%3E%3Cdc%3Atitle%3EShadows%3C%2Fdc%3Atitle%3E%3Cdc%3Acreator%3EDiceBear%3C%2Fdc%3Acreator%3E%3Cdc%3Asource%20xsi%3Atype%3D%22dcterms%3AURI%22%3Ehttps%3A%2F%2Fwww.dicebear.com%3C%2Fdc%3Asource%3E%3Cdcterms%3Alicense%20xsi%3Atype%3D%22dcterms%3AURI%22%3Ehttps%3A%2F%2Fcreativecommons.org%2Fpublicdomain%2Fzero%2F1.0%2F%3C%2Fdcterms%3Alicense%3E%3Cdc%3Arights%3E%E2%80%9CShadows%E2%80%9D%20(https%3A%2F%2Fwww.dicebear.com)%20by%20%E2%80%9CDiceBear%E2%80%9D%2C%20licensed%20under%20%E2%80%9CCC0%201.0%E2%80%9D%20(https%3A%2F%2Fcreativecommons.org%2Fpublicdomain%2Fzero%2F1.0%2F)%3C%2Fdc%3Arights%3E%3C%2Frdf%3ADescription%3E%3C%2Frdf%3ARDF%3E%3C%2Fmetadata%3E%3Cdefs%3E%3Cg%20id%3D%22shoulders-square-d0f18e86%22%3E%3Cpath%20d%3D%22M4%2050V17C4%209%2010%203%2018%203h42c8%200%2014%206%2014%2014v33Z%22%20fill%3D%22%233b3b42%22%2F%3E%3C%2Fg%3E%3Cg%20id%3D%22tops-flat-d0f18e86%22%3E%3Cpath%20d%3D%22M12.5%2036V14q0-4%204-4h23q4%200%204%204v22q-15.5%207-31%200%22%20fill%3D%22%233b3b42%22%2F%3E%3C%2Fg%3E%3Cg%20id%3D%22heads-oval-d0f18e86%22%3E%3Cuse%20transform%3D%22matrix(.95%200%200%20.95%204.47%201.84)%20rotate(-6%2C%2028%2C%2025)%22%20href%3D%22%23tops-flat-d0f18e86%22%2F%3E%3Cellipse%20cx%3D%2231%22%20cy%3D%2238%22%20rx%3D%2218%22%20ry%3D%2221%22%20fill%3D%22%233b3b42%22%2F%3E%3C%2Fg%3E%3CclipPath%20id%3D%22clip-d0f18e86%22%3E%3Crect%20width%3D%22100%22%20height%3D%22100%22%20rx%3D%220%22%20ry%3D%220%22%2F%3E%3C%2FclipPath%3E%3C%2Fdefs%3E%3Cg%20clip-path%3D%22url(%23clip-d0f18e86)%22%3E%3Crect%20width%3D%22100%22%20height%3D%22100%22%20fill%3D%22%23ede4e0%22%2F%3E%3Cuse%20transform%3D%22translate(11%2051)%22%20href%3D%22%23shoulders-square-d0f18e86%22%2F%3E%3Cuse%20transform%3D%22translate(19%201)%22%20href%3D%22%23heads-oval-d0f18e86%22%2F%3E%3C%2Fg%3E%3C%2Fsvg%3E)
NEW: Hasan execution venue double-booked with Comic-Con www.duffelblog.com/hasan-execut...
duffelblog.comHasan execution venue double-booked with Comic-ConArmy officials insist neither event can be rescheduled without losing deposit
Duffel Blog
Duffel Blog
@duffelblog.com
America’s Most Trusted Military News 🇺🇸 Since 2012. “They’ve made a lot of fun of me and I’ve enjoyed every bit of it.”—Secretary of Defense Mattis | https://www.duffelblog.com
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NEW: Trump announces sale of Patriot missiles to Russia www.duffelblog.com/trump-announ...
duffelblog.comTrump announces sale of Patriot missiles to RussiaWhite House says deal will help Moscow defend itself from Ukrainian aggression
NEW: Hegseth consults God via dumpster fire behind Pentagon www.duffelblog.com/hegseth-cons...
duffelblog.comHegseth consults God via dumpster fire behind PentagonSecretary says God commanded him to invade Greenland, restore Christian values
NEW: Iran condemns US plan to livestream execution as barbaric www.duffelblog.com/iran-condemn...
duffelblog.comIran condemns US plan to livestream execution as barbaricTehran questions whether America has completely abandoned standards of human decency
NEW: Vetbro apparel company pivots from stupid shirts to aggressively homoerotic ones www.duffelblog.com/vetbro-appar...
duffelblog.comVetbro apparel company pivots from stupid shirts to aggressively homoerotic onesAUSTIN, Texas — Veteran-owned apparel company ValorThreads Frontline Mission Tee-riffic announced this week it would pivot away from merely producing the stupidest shirts anyone has ever seen and towa...
NEW: Lincoln sailor returning from deployment already broke www.duffelblog.com/lincoln-sail...
duffelblog.comLincoln sailor returning from deployment already brokeFinancial counselors unable to determine where approximately 10 months of pay went
NEW: Paste-eating Marine praised for unmatched commitment to unit www.duffelblog.com/paste-eating...
duffelblog.comPaste-eating Marine praised for unmatched commitment to unitUnit leaders say his ability to stick with the mission is unmatched
NEW: Space Force’s new uniform puts a little goose back in the step www.duffelblog.com/space-force-...
duffelblog.comSpace Force’s new uniform puts a little goose back in the stepWhite House says redesign projects discipline, strength and “absolutely no historical parallels”
NEW: Military leaders debate who gets to masturbate first in sniper arch www.duffelblog.com/military-lea...
duffelblog.comMilitary leaders debate who gets to masturbate first in sniper archServices clash over historic privilege of being first to defile nation’s newest military monument
NEW: Mitch McConnell returns from extended drill weekend www.duffelblog.com/mitch-mcconn...
duffelblog.comMitch McConnell returns from extended drill weekendStaff says senator’s three-month absence was “routine National Guard obligation”
NEW: Trump considers replacing Hegseth with rock or something www.duffelblog.com/trump-consid...
duffelblog.comTrump considers replacing Hegseth with rock or somethingWhite House sources say object would bring “much-needed stability” to Pentagon
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NEW: Army adopts ‘Your body, my choice’ as new recruiting slogan www.duffelblog.com/army-adopts-...
duffelblog.comArmy adopts ‘Your body, my choice’ as new recruiting sloganOfficials say phrase finally explains military service without misleading recruits
NEW: First-generation American pilot excited to give family free ride on deportation flight www.duffelblog.com/first-genera...
duffelblog.comFirst-generation American pilot excited to give family free ride on deportation flightAir Force says family separation provides valuable joint-service experience
NEW: Hegseth tired of looking at all these limp dicks in Pentagon locker room www.duffelblog.com/hegseth-tire...
duffelblog.comHegseth tired of looking at all these limp dicks in Pentagon locker roomSecretary says widespread testosterone testing will restore lethality, erections to force
NEW: 25 years after 9/11, America still processing events normally www.duffelblog.com/25-years-aft...
duffelblog.com25 years after 9/11, America still processing events normallyNation marks quarter-century of war, conspiracies, remembrance and extremely normal behavior
NEW: West Point removes ‘honor’ from ‘duty, honor, country’ ethos www.duffelblog.com/west-point-r...
duffelblog.comWest Point removes ‘honor’ from ‘duty, honor, country’ ethosAcademy says concept increasingly conflicts with commander in chief’s guidance
NEW: Troops receive citizenship upgrade, spouses still eligible for deportation www.duffelblog.com/troops-recei...
duffelblog.comTroops receive citizenship upgrade, spouses still eligible for deportationDHS assures troops their constitutional rights will remain uninterrupted for duration of enlistment
NEW: Trump mulls leaving seamen in Iran without Plan B www.duffelblog.com/trump-mulls-...
duffelblog.comTrump mulls leaving seamen in Iran without Plan BPentagon officials concerned president may penetrate Iranian defenses without adequate protection
NEW: Congress proposes veterans fight to the death for expanded benefits www.duffelblog.com/congress-pro...
duffelblog.comCongress proposes veterans fight to the death for expanded benefitsNew “Veteran Highlander” program would let survivors absorb defeated veterans’ benefits
NEW: Hegseth declares blow jobs not gay if both men are fit, clean-shaven www.duffelblog.com/hegseth-decl...
duffelblog.comHegseth declares blow jobs not gay if both men are fit, clean-shavenSecretary cites Spartan precedent, testosterone, and “warrior ethos”
NEW: Staff command works hard to accomplish nothing www.duffelblog.com/staff-comman...
duffelblog.comStaff command works hard to accomplish nothingOfficials report unprecedented progress toward scheduling additional meetings
NEW: Pentagon unveils ‘Send Someone Else’ campaign for Iran war supporters www.duffelblog.com/pentagon-unv...
duffelblog.comPentagon unveils ‘Send Someone Else’ campaign for Iran war supportersOfficials clarify ‘Send Me’ remains mandatory for people without policy influence
NEW: Trump strikes deal to buy precision missiles from North Korea www.duffelblog.com/trump-north-...
duffelblog.comTrump strikes deal to buy precision missiles from North KoreaPyongyang promises delivery within 60 days, beating Lockheed Martin by approximately 11 years.
NEW: Pentagon facing dangerous shortage of fucks given www.duffelblog.com/pentagon-fac...
duffelblog.comPentagon facing dangerous shortage of fucks givenOfficials warn Iran war has pushed strategic fuck reserve below minimum levels
NEW: Opinion: Listen up, assholes. Turn in your excess cruise missiles or everybody stays in formation www.duffelblog.com/opinion-list...
duffelblog.comOpinion: Listen up, assholes. Turn in your excess cruise missiles or everybody stays in formationWe’re missing some missiles. So everybody needs to check their pockets.
NEW: Army Reserve adopts 'Nothing we do today is more important than lunch' as new recruiting slogan
duffelblog.comArmy Reserve adopts 'Nothing we do today is more important than lunch' as new recruiting sloganLeaders say market research confirms younger troops value realistic expectations
NEW: Hegseth mistakes getting older for declining military standards www.duffelblog.com/hegseth-mist...
duffelblog.comHegseth mistakes getting older for declining military standardsPentagon finds standards only fell when secretary entered new age brackets
NEW: Duffel Blog’s Top 13 ideas for solving the Iran War www.duffelblog.com/duffel-blogs...
duffelblog.comDuffel Blog’s Top 13 ideas for solving the Iran WarCENTCOM requested creative and unconventional proposals. It did not specify they had to be good.
NEW: Americans begin thanking troops for future service www.duffelblog.com/future-servi...
duffelblog.comAmericans begin thanking troops for future serviceRetail workers say they’re just trying to get ahead of the next Middle East deployment
NEW: DoD reclassifies sexual assault as 'flirting' under new policy www.duffelblog.com/dod-reclassi...
duffelblog.comDoD reclassifies sexual assault as 'flirting' under new policyPentagon says terminology change will immediately reduce reported incidents
NEW: Fat Leonard releases sex tape as part of presidential pardon campaign
duffelblog.comFat Leonard releases sex tape as part of presidential pardon campaign"At this point, the sex tape may be the least controversial part of his application," a Navy official said.
NEW: Pentagon unveils technology to hide fat generals from Hegseth www.duffelblog.com/pentagon-fat...
duffelblog.comPentagon unveils technology to hide fat generals from HegsethNew augmented reality system automatically renders senior officers “within standards”
NEW: ICE says Americans have no reason to worry about its new MQ-9 Reapers www.duffelblog.com/ice-says-ame...
duffelblog.comICE says Americans have no reason to worry about its new MQ-9 ReapersOfficials describe drones as “community-oriented aerial law enforcement”
NEW: Hegseth bans teachings of Jesus from Pentagon Christian services www.duffelblog.com/hegseth-bans...
duffelblog.comHegseth bans teachings of Jesus from Pentagon Christian servicesDefense secretary says New Testament contains “significant ideological drift”
NEW: Influenza outbreak prompts Air Force to adopt RFK Jr.'s natural treatment protocol www.duffelblog.com/influenza-ou...
duffelblog.comInfluenza outbreak prompts Air Force to adopt RFK Jr.'s natural treatment protocolAirmen instructed to hunt bears, drink snake urine, and trust their immune systems
NEW: 'You can’t fire me, I quit!' Gen. Donahue says as he rolls a joint www.duffelblog.com/donahue-fire...
duffelblog.com'You can’t fire me, I quit!' Gen. Donahue says as he rolls a jointFormer commander insists retirement was “already on my vision board”
NEW: VA found dead in Capitol Hill parking lot in apparent suicide www.duffelblog.com/va-found-dea...
duffelblog.comVA found dead in Capitol Hill parking lot in apparent suicideInvestigators recover note citing years of abuse, budget cuts, and demands to “do more with less”
NEW: New ‘every Marine is a pilot’ ethos proves disastrous www.duffelblog.com/marine-corps...
duffelblog.comNew ‘every Marine is a pilot’ ethos proves disastrousCorps says replacing flight training with confidence has produced mixed results
NEW: Bolton’s mustache to be sentenced separately following guilty plea www.duffelblog.com/bolton-musta...
duffelblog.comBolton’s mustache to be sentenced separately following guilty pleaProsecutors say the facial hair remains “an ongoing national security concern”
NEW: Pentagon warns US unable to fight two ceasefires simultaneously
duffelblog.comPentagon warns US unable to fight two ceasefires simultaneouslyMilitary leaders fear surprise ceasefire in Indo-Pacific could overstretch force