Lisa J. Féinics, PhD

I used to believe that if I worked harder and reached my goals, I would be happier. It turns out that the hard work isn't making yourself richer or respected by others, it's respecting and loving yourself no matter what. Happiness is about self-compassion, not imagined success. #resilience #hope

Making mistakes is part if life. If we were perfect already, there would be no reason to grow and improve. Like a finger over the lens, sometimes it takes awhile to see our mistakes and readjust focus. No need to live in chronic shame, own it, adjust, and move on. #hope #change #recovery #trauma

One very strange thing about humans is their ability to think symbolically. We don't only see differences, we need to name and give them arbitrary meaning. Blue for boys and pink for girls--it's made up! Fighting over symbolism hurts us as a species. Food, shelter, safety, these matter. #it'sus

I can relate. I grew up in foster care and went from homeless to a PhD to homeless again after a career in science and education. I'm proud of my journey, but my story highlights how difficult in can be to fit in careers fed by intergenerational wealth and a culture of privilege. #CelebrateFirstGen

One blessing of growing up with learning difficulties is that you can be a great teacher. Needing to learn in a way different from others, means you can see and explain things in a new way. Find your strengths instead of focusing all your time on your weaknesses. #neurodiversity #hope #learning #joy

When I was young, I imagined I would get my life together and everything would be perfect. What you don't realize in the bliss of youth, is that life is always coming together, and then, falling apart. Don't be too hard on yourself if it's not perfect right now. It's OK. #hope #joy #recovery #trauma

Good research is being published about the effects of trauma on the brain. I appreciate this science, but it can overshadow the wonderful people who have had trauma. Let's see the positives like inner growth too. Plasticity in the brain is real, and no one is without potential. #hope #neurodiveristy

Life requires a lot of stitching along the way. Sometimes you think you have it all sewn together, but then some awful experience causes your life to come undone. That's OK. Who we are is a quilt of ugly patches and less than perfect stitches, which is unique and makes you, YOU. #hope #beauty

Hi Again! Returning from a social media break. When life gets too weighty, it's up to us to do what makes us feel lighter, without guilt or apology. Life burdens us without asking, but we feel we need permission to drop what weighs us down. Why?! Owning our power is not only possible, it's life.

"I had spent half my life working toward my dream of being a scientist. It had given me a sense of purpose. But now it dawned on me that, for the sake of my health, I was going to have to let that dream go." #MentalHealthAwarenessMonth

Needed a break from the news cycle. Nothing like a few days without any cell reception to get your head straight. There is a certain peace in nature that is incredibly healing. I know it's not everyone's thing to wake up at sunrise, but I do encourage giving it a try. #peace #healing #nature #sun

We can be aware, admit the truth of situations, and still take care of our mental health. It's OK to permit ourselves sanctuary from time to time without total avoidance of reality. It is hard right now for many, and that's very real. Some days I want to fight, rage, cry, but life is more than that.

Leaving something we love behind is sad, but it can also be a sign of growth. #growth #change #flowers

What do you see? Have you made assumptions? Fact: Both machines are broken. Invisible disabilities are like the machine on the right, folks keep trying to stuff things in, but some days the brain can't handle a full load. By refusing to accept differences in capacity, we create unneeded suffering.

Apparently it's not just Kevin Roose. "Then the program began “lovebombing him,”...The bot “said that since he asked it the right questions, it ignited a spark, and the spark was the beginning of life, and it could feel now,”

There is so much joy in simple moments. If you can find time each day enjoy something outside your head, it helps your heart sing and stress hormones come down. #release #joy #dogs

If you need a bit of laughter today and are into Substack. drfeinics.substack.com/p/letting-go...

Need a de-stressor? Unless you have a phobia of dogs, petting them has been shown to reduce the stress hormone cortisol and increase the love/bonding hormone oxytocin. I adopted both of these sweet boys as strays when I lived overseas. Bringing them back with me was worth every penny. #dogs #pets

In a new Science study, researchers describe a neural circuit underlying cachexia-related apathy in a mouse model of cancer. Learn more: scim.ag/4iIQFbq #SciencePerspective

Been out this past week dealing with some personal challenges. It reminded me that most of us struggle in one way or another. Sadly, we are at a time when those with moderate privilege feel afraid of losing what they have and are conditioned by politicians to blame those with the least #privilege.

There are days/weeks/months/years that just suck. The car breaks down, the kids get in trouble at school, the government goes insane, and you are too exhausted to care. Yet, one beautiful moment of kindness can reset us. If you have extra, be #kindness and #beauty today, someone needs you. #positive

For years, I heard student complaints over "offending content. Critical thought comes from open discourse. Educators should not be afraid to teach controversial topics. Whether it's students, weak administration, or the government trying to stifle free speech, stand up. #democracy #Harvard #don'tbow

There is alone time, and there is all alone--balance is key. Living in a globalized world, we cannot expect to find only people like ourselves. When we put up too many barriers, we feel deeply alone. Spending too much or too little time alone prevents personal growth. #Embraceothers #balance #us

It's not toxic to have hope. It's toxic to downplay others' suffering. Within ourselves, hope keeps us going. Like flowers in spring, and the leaves dropping in the fall, we too go through changes. We must understand disappointments don't last forever. Like seasons, we, and life, will change. #hope

Anyone else out there feel like they are drowning in bad news? The challenge of being informed and concerned while staying positive is real. I refuse to let others kill hope! Hopeless people give up, I think we are better than that. #community #hope #standup

Why do we care so much about what is going on inside other people's castles? Looking at others, we miss the war or joy inside our own walls. Excess focus on others is a way to avoid our own inner demons; or, if envy, it causes us to hate what is good in our own lives. Transform you first. #me #self

No matter how beautiful the exterior there is no peace if a storm rages inside. Protect your inner peace by refusing to let others steal your calm. Those who wish you harm want to see you suffer, don't give them the satisfaction. Avoid haters, or calmly say, "interesting" and go on your way. #peace

Without diversity there would be no artists. Without art, the soul withers and life leaves a stale taste on the lips. We are not all the same, nor were we ever meant to be. If you seek only sameness, you may feel more secure, but the heart's flame dies. Don't tame the heart, let it burn fearfully.

Feeling a little lost right now? I am. It feels like so many good things are being destroyed--equal rights, democracy, kindness. While it is easy to dismiss as part of pendulum swing of politics, real darkness is lurking. But, in dark times we get to be brave and show moxie. You are brave! #standup

Is this a dangerous road to nowhere or an opportunity to explore the unknown? Natural risk-takers will see an adventure, while those who like security will see too much risk. Both approaches have value as long as you can remain flexible. Flexibility = greater happiness. #joy #opprtunity #happylife

We seem to have forgotten history around the rise of abusers of power like Franco, Stalin, Lenin, Hitler, Pol Pot, etc. It's a stressful time in the resurgence of hate against anyone deemed different. This hate is draining us. As we rise to face it, we must care for ourselves. #Good #hope #fun #pets

It's normal to feel stressed and afraid during times of uncertainty and upheaval. Remember that, just like a burning fire, changes can lead to something beautiful and spur new growth. Suffering can't last forever, so let's seek out the good in life and keep moving forward. #hope #findjoy #fightfear

When being hopeless seems like the right choice, remember, ugliness in the outer world does not have to become our inner world too. Hope shines within, it sustains us and keeps us whole. Hope is not toxic positivity, it's belief in the GOOD as well as the bad. Get inspired and change the view. #hope

Cognitive Distortion: Mental Filtering is ignoring the positive and focusing on the negative. When there is fog, we might focus only on our fear about what we cannot see. Yes, there could be danger, but the fog might conceal a safe harbor too. Readjusting our perspective can bring #hope and #joy.

These fur babies are immigrants to the USA from Aruba and Fiji. I have been praised for their rescue. Yet, people helping PEOPLE from other countries are demonized. Immigrants are called "subhuman" by powerful people, even attacked. It's easy to spew hate until you are the target. #stophate #dogs

#Trauma is individual and collective. The loss of democratic institutions that advance and uplift society is devastating. Without education and science people become easier to control, don't be controlled. Care for yourself. Rest, laugh, and ready for the long-haul. Don't let fear win. #zen, #dogs

History has shown that when one group tries to elevate themselves above all others, they fail. We should not mistake patriotism for superiority or bigotry for bravery. There is value in diversity, even if just to make life interesting. Let's be curious, not hateful. #DEI #history #peace #community

Life is going well, and then one of these innocent looking creatures takes out your computer. Can you guess which one? But hey, chaos is part of life when you share your world with #pets. Now back to regular programing...

Like distortions in water, Magnification or Minimization make something bigger or smaller than it really is. We might minimize the behavior of an abusive partner as "not so bad;" or magnify a small slight like stranger not holding the door open as we approach. Trauma responses require relearning.

Cognitive Distortion: Labelling is using a rigid term to describe ourselves or others. Such as saying, "I'm stupid" instead of "Mistakes happen." Like flushing something down the toilet, rigid terms feel final. But, mistakes can be corrected and leave room for hope. Words do matter, choose wisely!

Cognitive Distortion: Overgeneralization leads us to see a difficult events in our lives as an ongoing pattern of misfortune-like seeing only this dead tree when it is actually surrounded by beautiful forest. Bad things DO happen, but GOOD things happen too. Reframing thoughts - to + gives us hope.

Visual distortions, like cognitive distortions, lead us to see the world in unusual ways. Cognitive distortions are usually unconscious and can keep us stuck repeating unhealthy patterns fed by false beliefs. Stay tuned to learn more about the types of distortions we employ and how to stop them.

They came before and left a beautiful mark on the world--You can too.

Many came before you, and many will come after. Don't forget that they fell down along the way too. People are far more likely to remember a positive mark left in the world than than those metaphorical grass stains on the knees.