Dan Maier

How many #FPL teams, I wonder, are called Quantum of Tzolis?

The Teardrop Explodes will always mean a great deal to me so I was very sad to learn this morning that their drummer, Gary Dwyer, has died after a long period of illness. RIP Rocky. www.youtube.com/watch?v=7XDq...

Weird that the most famous people with the surnames Hess, Höss and Hass were all called Rudolf/ph. They were also all interested in the creation of a master race, although in Hass's case it was of avocados.

Once you factor in earworms, it’s clear that tonight’s real winners are Life Is Life hitmakers Opus.

Well. This will make Argentina rethink their all-out attacking approach…

Simon saved that with the cobwebs on his gloves.

I’m fairly confident they keep wanting to cut to Trump but they can’t because he’s asleep or gone.

“Sorry, I thought you ordered a half-*arsed* show.”

Justin Bieber with the musical equivalent of bringing Dan Burn on for Anthony Gordon, there.

Going to form a band called Anthony Barry’s Hurried Departure.

Full respect to Alan Shearer for saying, when the camera cut to Sergio Aguero, “What a player he was.” without adding ‘by the way’. Real discipline there.

I'm not saying he prefers to cut in on his left, but when it comes to going outside, Saka is more reluctant than Dracula.

Jordan Henderson - surely the first player ever to be booked and stretchered off without taking part in the match.

Not sure how this Croatian fan felt about the ref’s decision to disallow the last goal.

Study: Majority Of Middle-Aged Men Lack Support Network They’ll Need To Handle Neil Young’s Death https://theonion.com/study-majority-of-middle-aged-men-lack-support-network-theyll-need-to-handle-neil-youngs-death/

Weird that the most famous people with the surnames Hess, Höss and Hass were all called Rudolf/ph. They were also all interested in the creation of a master race, although in Hass's case it was of avocados.

Raffle now totally sold out but auction lots open til just after 8pm. So much good stuff. Like 2x Ian Rankin first editions signed *to you*. Jimmy Choo bag currently *2k* below value. Lunch for 2 with history maven Dan Jones! Loads more. Don’t fancy bidding, you can still donate. Thank you!

Get it before it's gone! It's the last day to bid for one-off lots in the Beauty Banks charity auction or buy £5 raffle tickets to win ace prizes. Every penny of profit helps people living in hygiene poverty around the UK. Please bid/buy/share if you can uk.givergy.com/beautybanksh...

Pints with Guy Garvey! James Dean Bradfield’s guitar! Signed Black Mirror script! Bespoke Harry Hill painting! LOADS more. Auction ends 8pm tonight, all proceeds help people in hygiene poverty across the UK. Chuck in a bid! uk.givergy.com/beautybanksh...

I donated some signed Black Mirror / San Junipero stuff to this charity auction, which ends tomorrow - if you don’t bid on it, you’re a monster: uk.givergy.com/beautybanksh...

Resigned…from life? 🤦🏻‍♂️

Advertisers! Make your commercial really stand out during World Cup ad breaks by not featuring any famous footballers in it.

The Beauty Banks auction and raffle is ending in a few days - bag an exclusive lot! Win some raffle bargains! Help people in hygiene poverty! Thanks! uk.givergy.com/beautybanksh...

@bbcsportbot.bsky.social um…

A re-up for this terrific cause. Grab a handful of raffle tickets and you'll be making a real difference!

Opta reporting that’s the most ‘tell you what’s in CL Final commentary history. #championsleague #tellyouwhat

Loads of *amazing* auction lots and raffle prizes up for grabs - all to raise urgently needed funds to people in hygiene poverty across the UK. Check out the lots, buy some raffle tickets if you can - you'll be helping a deserving cause that urgently needs it! Thanks. uk.givergy.com/beautybanksh...

Classic ‘scoring team quickly return ball to centre-spot despite the fact it’ll be the other team that’ll be kicking off’ after the Man City equaliser, there.

Arse’n’all.

Dara from Bulgaria reminds me of Sweden’s double winner. She’s very much the Sofia Loreen. #eurovision

I think there should be a rule that they’re not allowed to say anything between “12 points goes to” and the name of the country. “The 12 points goes to….zingy bingy longa lingy…(does a little dance) I’ve got a lovely bunch of coconuts…quack quack…vehicle reversing…Poland!!” #eurovision

Who’s presenting for the UK? My money’s on Richard Tice. #eurovision

I’ve actually just said “Blimey, she’s not leaving much to the imagination.”👴 #eurovision

That choke’s in very bad taste. #eurovision #romania

Cheesy a Roma. #eurovision #italy

Owen Hargreaves is looking well. #eurovision #finland

Chisinau That’s What I Call Music. #eurovision #moldova

Sofia, so good! #eurovision #bulgaria

Mark No-wen. #eurovision #malta

Belgrade Lugosi #eurovision #serbia

That Albania number is certainly going to be soundtracking this summer’s barbeques, mind. MOTHER IS WAITING. #eurovision

Feline Groovy. #eurovision #greece

I’ve seen Angine de Poitrine three times in the last four days and just when they stop seeming strange you notice the drummer’s actual eyes. #anginedepoitrine

Does anyone understand the ‘PALM’ bit of today’s Connections? We got it via the other three but 🤷🏻‍♂️.

The people who got ill on that ship could’ve added appropriate terms to their travel insurance, but sadly they didn’t believe in hanta clause.

Don’t know how to tell my boss at the Boob Inspectorate that I’ve lost my staff t-shirt.