Joe Birdseye

great day for dogs

No quarter. No mercy.

There are now 10 apps. You love the 10 apps. The 10 apps are everything that you need. You may only use the 10 apps.

optimus prime was chosen by god to defend capital

Okay, but how do you explain to anyone that he was the commander of a CIA backed, Afghan, paramilitary, child soldier, hit squad without sounding completely insane?

Ugh, idpol is so 2016. 😒😒 Get with the program, sweetie. ❤️🌟 We're doing agitprop now.🎉🥳🎉

rip mozart, you would have loved acid techno

the kids these days be dressing like funky kong

Spotify needs a "stop recommending this" feature. Giving me the same 5-8 recommended songs every day while I'm building a playlist is not helpful.

some mandela æffect shit. a recalled vision of garfield the cat wearing a trenchcoat & holding a pistol? saying simply the word "Society..."

This came up in my reels a few days ago & I haven't been able to stop thinking about it

sadly once again oh so relevant

Can't wait for the democrats to demand a return to the status quo in their next donation request.

theonion.com/new-bomb-cap...

When a drug-sniffing dog retires they should let the dog finally take drugs

People who don’t like AI aren’t in denial about how useful it is. People who like AI are in denial about how useful it is

Based on crowd-sourced records of No Kings Day event turnout, and extrapolating for the cities where we don't have data yet, it looks like roughly 4-6 million people protested Trump across the U.S. yesterday. That's nearly 2% of the U.S. pop! Mobilized anti-Trump resistance is exceeding 2017 levels

BREAKING: Gov. Walz says Rep. Melissa Hortman and her husband were shot and killed. Sen. John Hoffman and his wife were also shot and are out of surgery.

I’ve activated the State Emergency Operations Center. Local law enforcement in Champlin and Brooklyn Park have the full resources of the State of Minnesota behind them. We are monitoring the situation closely and will share more information soon.

Fox 9 Minneapolis reports that two Minnesota lawmakers and their spouses were shot by someone impersonating a police officer. Their conditions are not known. www.fox9.com/news/melissa...

God entered into my body and commanded I go get in n out

Mike Waltz has left the chat.

when times are as bad as they are right now we all have an added responsibility to highlight the few things our culture is doing well. so here goes: i am proud that America decided to fully embrace the Culkins. not just Macaulay, the whole lot of them. Good work everyone. We did it.

The soundtrack to Kingdom Come Deliverance 2 might just be one of the finest crafted soundtracks in the history of gaming.

not the way I do it

Chuck Schumer retire bitch

I don’t mean this as a dunk, but a lot of bluesky users think everyone has engaged in deep personal reflection on liberalism and leftism when most people just haven’t. most people don’t even know the difference. they just say “I’m on the left” and “I’m a liberal interchangeably”

Does anyone have a used library card for sale? I can't afford a new one.

Heaven's Gate really the GOAT cult. No weird sex stuff, no child abuse, just a bunch of nerds who were really into UFOs. Pretty harmless, up until, you know, the end

Sorry Ukraine, some of us over here did try but we all failed catastrophically to make this country do the right thing.

Elon Musk is a terrible president.

Spite's a great motivator. I wrote twelve books that way. If you're feeling pissed off at the fuckery afoot? Spite, yo. It'll get you far.

Most of Europe is way too high up on the globe. Scooch down, that’s weird.

First they came for the immigrants, and I spoke out, because I’ve read the damn poem before and I know how it ends.

The fun part about hanging out with a bunch of not-biologists is that we can talk about that time hagfish slime slopped all over the highway, and it’s everyone’s first time hearing about it. We gotta talk about this stuff.

Somebody yelled at me for posting about Ganymede instead of /the state of things/ last night. I know we’re (almost) all on the same page here, but a Bluesky without cute cats, science facts, and dumb jokes would be bad for everyone.

Cheating on an exam by memorizing everything the professor taught in advance so I can easily answer all the questions

In fairness, “you can make millions of individual molecules but there are 13 that you need but can’t make so let’s outsource their production to plants. Also, it’s actually 12…you can make one of the vitamins…as long as the sun’s rays touch your skin like you yourself are a plant” does sound fake.

welp, time to fucken. Time to fucken build community or whatever. Fuckenn ok

Weird that we have to say this, but the government doesn’t get to decide what gender a person is.

D&D is pretty much just gambling if it was invented by improv nerds, and advantage or disadvantage is just a parlay for dorks.