Captain Commonsense

A Guide to Trump Social Media Posts: Is everything capitalized properly with generally decent usage, including terms and phrases that Stinky would never know the meaning of? Then it was Stephen Miller who wrote it. Is it a thrill ride of poorly phrased, incoherent insults? Steven Cheung wrote it.

Trump is heckled for a third time at his speech in Mississippi: "SHOVE THAT BALLROOM UP YOUR FAT ASS!!"

Jesse Ventura to Piker: "Here's what pisses me off -- I did 2 tours, 17 months. So did my brother. Southeast Asia. That was at the same time Donald Trump was running and hiding like the coward he is. Why didn't he join us in the Vietnam War? I've heard him talk. He said he should be a general!"

Sophie Cunningham scored 0 points in 0 minutes for the Fever tonight. Because neither she nor her team were good enough to advance to the WNBA Finals (let alone out of round 1). Thought I'd share these stats, since she wants us to talk about basketball now.

#204/2026 Town councilor Shellie Flockhart [R-IA] pleaded guilty to child endangerment and DUI after driving more than 3x the legal limit with two children in her car in 2017. She just starred in a $1M GOP attack ad lecturing parents about who is "dangerous to kids." She should look in the mirror.

Trump allegedly sexually assaulted at least five women in Jeffrey Epstein’s "company or presence" and conspired with the DOJ to bury any evidence that implicated him from ever becoming public. Lock him up.

Trump Approval Polling: Disapprove: 57% Approve: 41% Rasmussen / Oct 21, 2026 (Republican Pollster)

Michigan Polling: Senate: 🔵 El-Sayed: 51% 🔴 Rogers: 45% Governor: 🔵 Benson: 52% 🔴 James: 45% Glengariff / Oct 22, 2026

We keep warning guests to not buy their weed from the ghosts in the stairwell. It's not our fault when they don't listen.

This is just pure racism. Republicans objectively are campaigning on little more than bigotry.

Pennsylvania House Polling - (Siena / Oct 22): PA-1: 🔵 Harvie: 48% 🔴 Fitzpatrick: 46%* (Model: GOP 50.6% - DEM 49.4%) PA-7: 🔵 Brooks: 49% 🔴 Mackenzie: 44%* (Model: DEM 52% - GOP 48%)

“Trump’s got the White House looking like Saddam Hussein opened up a Cheesecake Factory.” - Barack Obama in Ohio.

I thought he was going to drain the swamp?

#202/2026 Fmr. county commissioner candidate Walter Harris III [R-NC] was charged with two misdemeanors after he blocked a woman from voting and threatened her with a throat-slash gesture. Trump is directly responsible for these MAGA terrorists who intimidate voters with violence and death threats.

#203/2026 MAGA operative and "election integrity" crusader Scott Presler blatantly violated election laws by letting at least three out-of-state residents use his Pennsylvania home to register to vote. A rank hypocrite crying about nonexistent fraud while running a voter-fraud ring from his couch.

💙

🤷🏼 whoopsy atlantablackstar.com/2026/10/21/a...

Solid metaphor for the entire administration, honestly

#199-201/2026 Fmr. U.S. Senator Lindsey Graham [R-SC] paid three male escorts for sex including an underage 17-year-old boy. From an explosive expose: "My name is Kelvin, and I had sex with Lindsey Graham when I was 17." Despicable that he raped a minor and outrageous "family values" hypocrisy.

The issue that matters most.

Texas Polling: Senate: 🔵 Talarico: 51% 🔴 Paxton: 49% Governor: 🔴 Abbott: 52%* 🔵 Hinojosa: 48% CBS/YouGov / Oct 10, 2026 (Current TX-SEN Model: DEM 50% - GOP 48%) (Current TX-GOV Model: GOP 51% - DEM 49%) unitedstatespolling.com/p/democrats-...

Just a day after we shared our comprehensive database of now 240 Republican sex criminals, it has grown by one. Senator Lindsey Graham [R-SC] bumped fellow "family values" hypocrite Larry Craig from #6 to #7 in our list by paying for sex with a 17-year-old boy and two other men.

Good morning to everyone who voted for Kamala Harris.

Sadly, there is not much we can do about the odors and apparitions plaguing the east wing, as it was built atop an ancient mushroom burial ground.

Ohio Polling: Governor: 🔵Acton: 50% 🔴Ramaswamy: 48% Senate: 🔵Brown: 52% 🔴Husted: 47%* Beacon/Shaw / Oct 19, 2026 (Current OH-GOV Model: DEM 52% - GOP 48%) (Current OH-SEN Model: DEM 51% - GOP 47%) unitedstatespolling.com/p/democrats-...

NEW: The New Mexico attorney General is suing Jeffrey Epstein’s lawyer and personal accountant for facilitating Epstein’s sex trafficking ring. www.cnbc.com/2026/10/21/e...

If you think a test for dementia is an IQ test, you have dementia. If you don't realize you have been given a test for dementia because your physician suspects you have dementia, you have dementia. If you think being able to tell a giraffe from a whale makes you a genius . . . you have dementia.

Vance just held an outrageous presser in which he defended Vivek's vile attacks on Acton, agreed w/ Witkoff's assessment of Putin as a "humanitarian," and had gall to claim "there's no person who hates people enriching themselves fraudulently over access to the govt than Donald J Trump" Supercut:

Good morning to everyone who voted for Kamala Harris.

Q: There's a report that FEMA is telling states to prepare to handle disasters on their own. Any reaction? OSSOFF: So the Trump administration is telling folks across the country to prepare to fend for themselves while taxpayer dollars are sent to back Don Jr & Eric's mining interest in Kazakhstan?

#198/2026 MAGA billionaire Elon Musk reportedly ordered an unauthorized slowdown of U.S. defense satellites to disrupt Ukrainian defense operations in blatant violation of federal law. We should all be terrified of an unelected oligarch having veto power over military battlefield orders.

Three years after being indicted on 16 felony counts, former NYC Councilman Eric Ulrich finally went on trial for allegedly taking over $150k in bribes to sell access to city officials. It should never take this long to hold unrepentant criminals accountable for their illegal actions.

Trump’s special envoy Steve Witkoff to Vladimir Putin today: “You talk so much about Trump being a humanitarian, you are a humanitarian also, sir. And I salute that. I commend you.”

Poindexter: "You probably heard about the extremely serious allegations against Max Miller, but there's another serious problem w/ him you may not have heard about. He is knee deep in the corruption of DC. After criticizing politicians for trading stocks, Max Miller has traded more than $1m ... "

Be warned. The River Witch's Halloween costume is Olympic breakdancer Raygun. Wear the same costume to the casino and you will suffer generational tragedies as well as an uncomfortable week of genital itching.

Missouri - 2nd House Polling: 🔵 Wellman: 46% 🔴 Wagner: 45%* PPP / Oct 20, 2026 (Democratic Pollster) (MO-2 Model Result: GOP 49% - DEM 48.1%) unitedstatespolling.com/p/democrats-...

Alaska - Governor Polling: 🔵 Kreiss-Tomkins: 55% 🔴 Wilson: 45% Alaska Survey Research / Oct 18, 2026 (Model result for AK-GOV: DEM 52% - GOP 48%) unitedstatespolling.com/p/democrats-...

The MAGA Republican Party is rife with convicted and credibly accused sex criminals. The party of so-called "family values" sure has a sick and twisted way of showing it.

This 👇

Pennsylvania - Preferred Senate Candidate: 🟠 Someone Else: 63% 🟣 Fetterman: 37% Bravo / Oct 11, 2026

Donald Trump is a sex predator and we have the receipts to prove it.

“Affordability” was invented by the radical left to describe what groceries used to be.

Fat ass orange Satan say “ affordability is A HOAX?”

Two weeks before the midterms… Thank you for your attention to my dementia.

couldn't be bothered to vote for Kamala Harris and now the president is sending debt collectors after people with student loans. great job.