Andy

I haven't been spending much time on here, and I wanted to make sure my most recent post was a cute, current selfie.

What's my favorite news story of 2026? For the first time in the history of man, a toilet has left low earth orbit. Unlike Apollo astronauts, Artemis astronauts will not have to shit in a plastic bag.

Product idea: VCs will throw money at a dating app with a proprietary LLM driving the matching algorithm, where that's the whole selling point. User search criteria like: 💪 only one gym selfie in profile 📷 photos seem recent…at least are all of the same person 🔡 decent grammar 🎣 no fish selfies

How many contacts in your phone have a photo that's a screenshot of their Grindr profile? How many phones have your Grindr profile pic as the contact photo? Discuss.

I just want to motorboat her ears.

Wicked homophones in Boston.

Are these cities homophones? And what is your English language dialect? Wooster Worcester

Brunch is when we celebrate the prior night's regret. The Rabbi's Regret Reuben: 🍞 Rye bread, as seedy as last night's bar 🌽 Corned beef 🥯 A schmear. It's not brunch without a schmear. Treyf af, but so was the goy you brought home. 🏃‍♂️🍳 Sunny egg The usual kraut & dressing fixins

My memoir

I’M COMING IN HOT!

My memoir

F*cking snowflake pussies hiding behind their badge and gun. Is your free speech more free than mine? Oink oink.

Kristi Noem On Renée Good Murder: ‘We Will Find The Immigrant Who Did This’

Remember to think critically when reading news and when looking at the accompanying photos. Read the captions. Read the alt text. Look closer. Think about what happened leading up to the photographer taking the photo. Think about what happens next. Think about who the aggressor is.

"Colon Kazoo" Euphemism for fart or rim job? Reskeet with your thoughts.

"Colon Kazoo" Euphemism for fart or rim job? Reskeet with your thoughts.

exception

If you were a "kid" circa 2000, and hated your parents music, think of this... Captain+Tennille's "Love Will Keep Us Together" was 25 years old in 2000. Songs that are now 25 years old: Eminem - The Real Slim Shady N*Sync - No Strings Attached album Britney - Oops!...I Did It Again

"sir, have you heard about the new 20% pop•tart tax enacted by the furry union?" - Elphie

Chef's counter seating in a restaurant, where your seat overlooks an open kitchen is just a culinary cuck chair where you watch Chef take care of your dining companions while you watch.

Pie'o'neer™️ America's favorite paneer pot pie.

The text messages of a gay millennial man are filled with the best stories. I spent 20 years of my life pretending to be heterosexual. I didn't even breathe the thought into speech until I was 18. Janet knows I'm not going to tell anyone she slept with her cousin. It's fine.

Have a day that matters. . . . Not all memorable days are nice ones, but we only remember the days that matter. Nice'll only get you so far.

November 19 is World Toilet Day — officially declared by the United Nations to bring attention to the the 3.4 billion people who live without "safely managed sanitation." n.pr/3X1BB07

Every once in a while, someone asks why I don't run for office. I've given various reasons over the years, but am going to stop gilding the lily. The answer just boils down to the same thing: I already get called "faggot" enough without running for local office.

I've been trying to avoid getting too deep into politics right now because.... Reasons. But every once in a while, I check to see if the dumbass has gone full Orwell and renamed the Press Secretary to be the Secretary of Truth.