Flat Pluto Coven

WHEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Misiorowski looks and talks like a freakish hybrid of Peyton Manning and Kenneth from 30 Rock.

VAXXED!?

Philly is on this.

We need reeducation camps for people who comment "Who's here in [current year]?" on old YouTube music videos.

selective serotonin reuptake engineer

AI is trained on my dick pics. Apologies in advance to anyone who buys an AI sex bot.

Aw, it's sweet that there's a contractor who caters to the puppy play community.

If your takeaway from obsession was that YOU should be the one to strip away all of Nikki's self-determination, I have great news!

smoking on that [airplane noises] ya feel me, i’m puffing on that [sound of a plane crashing into a tower], and i’m high as a [sound of a tower collapsing], i’m talking bout that george bush kush.

Horse bot is COOKING

I'm not sure if this is funnier with or without context.

Marlo is cool, help her out if you can.

I beat every one of these abominations to death with the revolver, and save the bullet for the person who put me in the room with them.

I love the opening scene of Butterknife with the blood-soaked sock hop.

For Mariners starting pitcher Logan Gilbert, Mario has always been part of the family. Now, with the My Mario collection, his 10-month-old can engage with the very same characters that brought him and his wife, Aviles, together!

Fuck a salary cap, what MLB really needs is a moratorium on Take Me Home, Country Roads as a walk-up song

Help a guy's monster dick candle dreams come true!

This is very cool, check it out.

Seattle Pilots looking DOMINANT in the NLCS!

quote post but change the lower back tattoo ✨ I POOP ✨ ✨ FROM THERE ✨ ✨ I ✨ ✨ I ✨ ✨ V ✨ ✨ ✨ ✨ ✨✨✨ ✨✨✨

[loading a pistol and getting back on the jetway] Plane's haunted.

Was this a justified block or nyah?

Evil Dead Rise of the Planet of the Apes

Happy 20th anniversary of this motherfucker getting killed by a demon to all who celebrate.

Nothing but respect for MY Digger.

How I arrived on Bluesky

It is really weird that every commercial break during this game includes a commercial for a candy bar featuring some autotuned country singer singing about fucking in the back of his truck.

Sack Blabbath

Using your Jeopardy interview segment to tell people to hire you as an actuary is the dorkiest power movie imaginable and I respect it.

Hey guys, did you know that in terms of male human and female dinosaur breeding, T. rex is the most compatible dinosaur for humans?

Blocking someone over pasta is like doing tequila shots. You should probably wait until like 11:30am.

I DOUBLE DARE YOU MOTHERFUCKER, SAY "THREE TRUE OUTCOMES" ONE MORE GOD DAMN TIME.

NERD ORIGIN: In junior high, we found a beat-up D&D (first edition!) DM Guide and Player's Handbook in my friend's dad's stuff. His dad was a born-again evangelical and this was in the middle of the 80s/90s Satanic Panic, so we were awfully surprised that his dad had once been into this stuff.

Waifujulie spam is the Bsky equivalent of cicada swarms.

The Mariners 2026 season:

you can just shut the fuck up instead of having a "shutting the fuck up ceremony"

With the Astros winning the division with a .500 record and then getting swept in the Wild Card round by a team coming off back-to-back 100-loss seasons, is the 2026 AL West the shittiest division in MLB history?

I am begging these guys to shut the fuck up for two whole seconds about how Cam Schlittler likes being a dick on Twitter.

They should invent a kind of LinkedIn post that doesn't make me want to [redacted due to legally actionable TOS violation].

In a franchise first, the Mariners are going to start a culture of "people who know what the fuck they're doing."

The horse bot is cooking today.

Just the whole of @jav.scd.lol really.

Rick Rizzs has been the voice of the Mariners since before I knew what baseball was. I don't think I love anything as much as he loves Mariners baseball, and watching him give his goodbye speech surrounded by every team great is the best emotional gut punch ever. Rename the Space Needle after him.

200 strikeouts for the most assless man in baseball LFG!

Welp, maybe next season.