peter griffin cigarette baby

what does this have to do w chainsaw man

I hold traditional American values on religion, by which I mean Catholics can't be trusted because they're only loyal to the Pope.

why don't men look like this anymore

i hate myself for making this one and if you retweet it you suck

cyclops: you need to stop giving my wife fuck me eyes wolverine: your wife should stop giving me fuck me eyes back

nintendo should make baby baby mario

Make no mistake: Alligator Alcatraz IS a concentration camp, and they absolutely ARE planning genocide and ‘ethnic cleansing.’ As a white person, i don’t know what I can do to help, but if all I have is my voice, I will make sure it’s heard.

you’d be smiling too if you were immortal

real paragon of the bechdel test over here (talking to multiple woman friends i’ve had for years at the same time)

“we value order over chaos” splatoon 2 final fest rivalry be like

haven’t tested it in a while but i really hope im not still allergic to peanuts. child shit fr. it literally never comes up but like i really hope im just avoiding it forever and it can’t secretly kill me one day. that’d be really lame

One of the biggest banks being called “Gold man sacks” is pretty inexcusable.

I think we could fix the kids by introducing them to Bush era Memphis rap

imagine having beef with all your musical icons because they criticize how you’re destroying america so the only artist you can keep listening to is kid rock

“8647” you people are pathetic the fascist theocracy is here *right now* that man needs to die

never been so happy to see someone detransition in my life

i think rfk jr’s real problem with autistic people is that he probably had an autistic friend in high school who just would not shut up about his special interest

the night family episode of rick and morty is more tightly written, profound, and emotionally salient than all of severance #speakingmytruth

he can't tariff our friendship 😊

so when are we getting the lofi version of booker’s filibuster??

baffling how nobody in my generation actually received good computer education simply because everyone thought that someone else would teach us

"Your penis..." *Slicks my hair back like aizen* "I have already sucked it..." *you fall to the ground cumming*

in honor of the most recent administration scandal, i will be creating a group chat with all of my plugs and both of my parents

me: i hate exercise them: but once you start doing it, doesn’t it feel good me: nope. still hate it. them: okay but afterwards doesn’t it feel so satisfying me: nope. still hate it. them: but me: nope.

someway, somehow, this is all the fault of that fucking gorilla at the cincinnati zoo

when you run afoul of Jeff and his gang of Street Toughs

i am much less concerned about the rise of fascism than i am the rise of fresca

just saw a grown ass woman on this app refer to her height using decimals in the inches section. that’s like talking to someone’s parent and them saying “yeah i’m 68 and a half” 😭

“would 14-year-old you like you” that mf thought my hero academia was the greatest work of fiction known to man, all i gotta do is kick flip in front of that freak and hand them a joint and next thing ya know that kid’s groveling at my feet

Weeping as I take aim: Tell me more about the wojacks, lennie. Lennie: Oh boy oh boy and that’s the the chudjack he’s blackpilled. That’s chad wojack he’s based and that’s me. Wifejack is here and she has red hair and is always smiling and I like to pet her hair and rub her and-

luffy calls everyone “bro” ace calls everyone “dude” sabo calls everyone “man” any questions??

she’s monkeying around on my d till i luffy call her roronoa zoro the way she got her mouth wrapped around my third sword she vinsmokin on my sanji till i germa in her 66

home slice saw his friggin shadow. miffed. but when the great temporal lagomorph tests your patience, it simply means the reward of spring will be all the much sweeter

you’re telling me all of black history happened in this one month??

my music taste is thus: -can i listen to it stoned -can i blast it in the car -do i think potential lovers will find me attractive because of this song, when in reality i am scaring the hoes

the only reason this isn’t gonna fly is bc they decided to fuck w mlk day, and unfortunately americans love days off more than black ppl

the people i encounter on tt live are jesters. my clowns. they dance and sing for my amusement. they play games with me and if i send them prizes with my love they’ll scream my name through the glass walls of our phones. i shared your live three times, go hit that blinker for me, sucker

so when IS “back in the day”?? if i’m talking about playing on my wii in 2007 is that “back in the day”?? or is it not far back enough

it’s actually illegal for me to be working right now, especially when i was so warm in bed :(

sanji is just like me fr, bro saw a financially manipulative redheaded lesbian and his well of rizz has yet to run dry almost 30 years later (he has gotten nowhere w her)