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took food off my plate!!!! I had a 8 part editorial about how I still feel that pizza burn on the roof of my mouth.

Shortening the work week? Used to be 7 days of Nothing.

@nytpitchbot.bsky.social

In fact make society immeasurably worse.

Say his name. Ross Douthat.

Thinking people stopped subscribing and listening to the NYT along time ago.

NYT are nothing but bootlickers that actively harm us.

Nice work if you can get it.

The onion doing @nytpitchbot.bsky.social's job for them

Another one?

As a physician, I'll readily admit I've hated the NYT since the '90s. But they hated me first. Serious schadenfreude watching their downfall.

I wouldn't wipe my ass with the New York Times.

New columnist will actively hurt the most vulnerable amongst us three times a week, would be more accurate

Nothing *positive*.

Sooo in other words more of the same.

How timely of a story. Heh.

Better than the current 7 times per week & twice on Sunday

I thought David Brooks already had a column

I’m glad they haven’t changed the outline of the whole paper. 😀

Shouldn't that read, "Announces Another New Columnist Will Contribute Nothing..."

I thought this was the Onion? This is already a reality.

You can tell this is still satirical because NYT would never actually get that close to telling the truth.

At last! My brother got a job that he'll be GOOD at!

I thought the Onion made sarcastic headlines.

That’s the same memo Democrat politicians received 2 years ago

Good to see that the NYT is making efforts to improve their average content.

🤦‍♂️🤬

Did they finally hire that Senior Feng Shui correspondent?

Nothing is better than some thing🧅

art imitating life

Seems typical for NYT as they join in on the mass media Trump suck-up!!!

subtraction is just a form of addition so in a way they will add -3

Are you addressing the Times or the Onion?

Shots fired.

😂 Seriously!

The Onion has been around since 1988, so it's probably the other way around.

Nothing would be an improvement over the present contributions by the New York Times

More like '‘New York Times Announces New Columnist Will Actively Make the World a Worse Place 3 Times A Week.'

Is David Brooks leaving?

The main stream (non right wing media) has let us down big time! They are running scared right now. If they are afraid to give the facts to the people, they are of no use to us!

Accurate.

what will that contribute to then ?

I'm disappointed. I was certain we'd be getting a new white supremacist to help address the young male problem. And young white women not reproducing enough.

Mock the nyt

That sounds about right. The venerable NYT's has been going downhill for years.

Yes, they do.

Now now, I’m sure they’re going to find a far right demon to publicly normalize.

Let it go. The Grey Lady is as deranged as Norma Desmond.

And Spelling Bee.

It will perfectly match what the NYT does for the country the other four days of the week…

Sounds like a Trump employee. Soz y'all.

Yeah, @nytimes.com I'm sharing this again.

Not satire again, come on ONN you used to be SO good at satire, what happened?!

I once read a piece by Thomas L. Friedman, where he basically argued that Gaza could be just like Dubai if they stopped complaining and just worked really hard. Someone at the editorial board read that and published it. The man has 3 Pulitzers. Just... why?

They should fit right in.

Pretty sure that's the tack that whole rag is taking

Fair point.

So.. business as usual?

Once again The Onion posting the news and not satire.

How is this news?

Not again.

The NY Times hasn’t offered much of interest to rational people for more’n 30 years now. Maybe they should fire the entire Editorial Board, start fresh.

Are they cloning Maureen Dowd?

Oh, is this a cut from five times a week?

Starting the new guy out slowly, eh? How long before they have them contributing nothing to society full-time?

I see that they are following in the same footsteps as McLaurine Pinover.

Did Friedman retire? Douthwait? Dowd? Stephens?

It's really closer to "all of the columnists who aren't resigning in protest" and "7 days a week."

The columnist’s name is Maureen Douthat.

When did y'all fall out of the satire business?

Wow, The Onion speaks truth again.

With half an article that just cuts off in the middle of a sentence and articles about photos and videos that are never included😆

Maureen Dowd’s career in a single headline. Bravo!

The Onion isn't even satire anymore. This is absolute truth. @nytimes.com is a shit publication that sucks the status quo so hard that they always get a happy ending.

Ah no the columnist *will* contribute. And it will all be actively detrimental

A total walkout would flip this whole situation on its back, the “people” would then take control. No money coming in would send the 1%ers and the administration reeling‼️

Why hire someone when the current staff does the same job?

I would argue they’re making society worse

And twice on Sunday.

@benryanwriter.bsky.social you are shattering glass ceilings and blasting through barriers, I see you 🩷🩷🩷

The Three Stooges of the Times

DONALD TRUMP HAS HELPED IRAN MORE THAN ANY DICTATOR IN THE WORLD.

Did they really need another?

😆

They're contributing quite a bit to the eugenics movement I hear.