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NATO can't protect Europe from Russia because the US has defected. The EU can't because UK is no longer a member. The UN can't because of Russia & US. We need a body with Europe + UK but not Russia + US, with existing admin infrastructure. What I'm saying is: arm the Eurovision Song Contest.

It's a (notionally) democratic body, it can render decisions from all its member states within a couple of ours, and it has already shown it learnt an important lesson from 20th century conflict: if you want to hold buck the Russians, send a bunch of terrifying Finns.

*hours

This would also allow Australia to do what it has historically done in post-WWII conflicts: send a contingent that's controversial just for being there but doesn't really determine the eventual outcome.

The question as to whether artists could be conscripted to be fed into the meatgrinder of the semi-finals will break the Labor Party again. The LNP will insist we send this bloke.

(Also, who would be our new Billy Hughes here going to future Versaille and demanding colonial spoils? Albanese lacks the hubris, Dutton the charisma. Wartime Cabinet Leader Barnaby Joyce? The unlikely envoy Lidia Thorpe feels somehow apropos)

"We'll take Austria-Hungary, thanks."

Hadn't seen that agit-prop before. What glories have we lost as a nation by turning our backs on extreme rhetoric and on propaganda cartoons that would make generations of Leek cry tears of envy...

The good news is that digger has like a 99% chance of surviving those stab wounds. Unless the argument is "we need conscription because ordinary people are absolutely terrible at killing people and clearly need to be trained."

Conscript anti-conscriptionists so they are better at killing volunteers to stop conscription is a bit long for a tee-shirt, and yet...