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Maaaan the Halo remake is exhaustingly Modern in its bullshit... Cortana has all kinds of extra tutorial dialogue. The intro of invisible elites, instead of being a scary moment of guys suddenly dropping dead around you, is her going "Invisible elites!! Look for distortions in the air!" Christ alive

And even the dialogue that hasn't been changed or recast has been rerecorded to sound smug and/or "he's right behind me isn't he"

I know from my long history of bitching about this sort of thing that most people don't notice or care when a line is bad or badly delivered, but it's such a bummer to me. Especially since I have the type of memory where I can just mentally play back the .wav of the original recording and compare

Like you're in the vents on the Pillar of Autumn and she goes "My analysis indicates the exit will have a green light on it". There's one exit idiot. It's a vent. I don't need a light and I don't need you to tell me what color it is

Cortana has such a good vibe in the original, fun but professional and focused on the thing at hand, very much a military robot. In this she is ... not like that

It's so dangerous to change shit in a remake, you risk revealing that you didn't get it in the first place which is always going to be the case with these ones that come out of essentially a factory

There are these weird little changes like not revealing the halo until the end of the first chapter (they put it behind the planet instead of in plain sight), and doing so with this big dramatic gregorian chant "oh my god what is THAT?" moment, missing that in the original game nobody cared

Like that was the coolest part of the vibe of Halo 1. Yeah nobody has ever seen a colossal ringworld before, it has far-reaching implications for all sorts of things. We don't know anyone who cares about that shit though, we're in the middle of a war, we're just landing on it. Literally do not care

Literally it is a fucking joke bsky.app/profile/brke...

Also, look, I'm an Unreal guy, metahumans are sick, you can do a cool stylised metahuman, okay? Okay? Have that in mind when I tell you that Captain Keyes is the most dogshit Stock Metahuman you ever saw. The others all look better. Boring guy, boring voice, for some reason a lot of extra screentime

And he doesn't even smoke a fuckin pipe anymore. I don't know how you trick yourself into thinking your interpretation of "spaceship captain who smokes a pipe" is legitimate when you get rid of the pipe

The thing is they have done a good enough job that if it wasn't a remake I would just be like "oh cool, new Halo game". Just make a new one?!?! I suppose given it's on Unreal now maybe the pitch for this was "just remake 1 as a way to get all set up to make something new", optimistically

But they fire everyone every two years or whatever so

A thing they have fucked up that I would have thought anyone would know better is ammo economy...you can just use whatever gun you want forever. Instead of starting Truth & Rec with the sniper and ditching it for lack of ammo before you get to the ship, you never run out... I had like 50 ammo

WOW they changed the level design of the opening of silent cartographer...that's a lotta balls. It sucks

They fuckin...unblocked the way so you can just drive the warthog effortlessly up to the security booth...like literally warthog the two hunters in the clearing AND the ones inside the security station AND the invisi-elites... you only get off the hog to use the control panel. God that's so dumb

AND YET they made the main facility door narrower so you can't get the hog in there

Well this is a good change

there's this one Interesting Room in halo which for whatever reason has sparkly walls and cool reflections and shit. i was interested to see how they interpreted that. they just didn't lmao. they didn't even stop it from snowing in there

also the ice doesn't crack as you roll your tank over it

also this sick turret design where the seat hovers and rotates is gone. they never used it in any halo after 1, preferring shitter designs which were worse, and here the shit ones are retconned in