Lindsay Ayn, MS

All the dudes who say they want a girl with a "touch a tism" of their dating profile may want to know I just cried because my Grubhub driver forgot my orange juice.

We'll be at the Goodsprings Vendor Village all weekend! Stop on by for the finest chems, weapons, Holotapes, and other wasteland essentials!

Five days and counting!

🚨 New essay drop! “You Heal, They Leave” If you follow trauma healing online, you’ve heard this a million times, rephrased in a million ways: “You will lose people when you heal.” Let’s talk about it. 🔗 Read the full post: open.substack.com/pub/zamdanga...

Hah. Nice. (Finally reading Neuroqueer Heresies.)

Isn't it crazy how despite knowing we would all benefit from living in a world full of educated people, we don't have the option to take a part time job getting paid to read?

🚨 New essay drop! “Save Your Punches For Power” The internet doesn’t seem to grasp *power differentials.* By now, we ought to know the difference between fighting oppression and fighting each other, but I’m not seeing that. Let’s talk about it. 🔗 open.substack.com/pub/zamdanga...

There's something weirdly empowering about crying while doing dishes. It's like, yes, I'm feeling all the feelings, but I'm still here, I'm still taking care of my life, and I am NOT giving up. 💪

🚨 New essay drop! “Narcissism, Neurodivergence, and Self-Control” In July, I said the core of narcissism is entitlement to evade anything perceived as threat at all costs. In that case, what’s with the cruelty for sport? 🔗 open.substack.com/pub/zamdanga...

🚨 New essay drop! “The Fears Are Real, But Do We Need The Triggers?” Are we gaslighting ourselves if we challenge our triggers? I’m currently binge-reading Dr. Catherine M. Pittman’s work on the amygdala... 🔗 open.substack.com/pub/zamdanga...

Meet Baby Battle Buddy, my cartoon personification of my amygdala. He’s my body guard, but also a baby. I feel like if I picture this character every time I’m triggered, it’ll be easier to have compassion for myself. 😂 (Illustrated in Adobe Fresco, for whoever is curious.)

Quitting smoking is easier than quitting rumination because I can't just decide to stop buying packs of imaginary arguments at the corner store because I'm out of money.

Hello podcasters and bloggers Does this book look cool to you? Would you like to talk to the author about it? Amelia seems like a super cool person on a similar mission as many of us. Check out their book & let me know if you'd like to get in touch & are having trouble ameliajmichael.com/book/

While rewatching the Fallout Amazon series for the wiki, I noticed this aspirant using a walker to get around. As someone who has had to use a walker just like that in the past due to medical issues, it was really nice to see included. Representation matters.

Thank you, NSP, for being a continuing source for joy in my life. 💖 youtu.be/yqVzsXxD_h4?...

I’m really proud of straight women. Y’all have come a long way. How do I know? Pedro Pascal. You picked a good one. Good job.

No one gets to judge me for my response to their lies. If the trigger wasn’t relevant to reality, neither was my response. Don’t call me a bad actor when you’re a bad director.

When I hurt a person, the person hates me. When my keeper hurts a person, the person hates themself. Never forget that anyone you blame for a conflict failed to convince you to blame someone else. The creepiest among us never fail. 🔗 open.substack.com/pub/zamdanga...

🚨 Update from Zamdanga Impact on Substack 🚨 Zamdanga Impact on break—returning December 2025. Focusing on Zamdanga Healing and introspection while I gather strength and wisdom. 🔗 open.substack.com/pub/zamdanga...

Trying to control your life from inside an abusive relationship is like trying to steer a train from inside the passenger car. You can't even explore your options until you get off.

Well, just smoked my last cigarette. Not for my health—for my wallet. Replacing the habit with meditation. If you need me, I’ll likely be climbing the walls and clawing at my own face.

On my Substack I talk about someone I call "my keeper." This. This. THIS is how she treated me. For 25 goddamn years. Only she actually DID put me in a psych ward. www.threads.com/@adamconover...

🚨 New essay drop! “Demand Avoidant? This Might Change Your Life” 🚨 Living with demand avoidance is hard. But I recently realized that my go-to strategies have stolen years of my life away. Luckily, I finally found the answer. Let me break it down for you. 🔗 open.substack.com/pub/zamdanga...

Refusing to waste time wastes time. ⏱️ Refusing to waste time wastes time. ⏱️ Refusing to waste time wastes time.

I just watched Drive-Away Dolls. This lesbian didn't know how much she wanted to see Margaret Qualley cosplaying Shane McCutcheon. 😂 👩‍❤️‍👩

🚨 New essay drop! “My Silliest ADHD Life Hacks” 🚨 Neurodivergent trauma healing is hard—we need some levity up in here. So today, I’d like to dazzle you with the silliest ways I manage my ADHD. 🔗 open.substack.com/pub/zamdanga...

Lessons I've learned the hard way #100,824: if you don't let people ask things of you to your face, people will take things from you behind your back. You're a human being in an energy exchange ecosystem, and there's no opting out until you die.

At a street fair here in Portland I saw an adorable local business selling these hand-decorated pill cases. I reach a lot of ND folks who take meds so I thought y'all would enjoy seeing pill cases treated creativity as much as I did. Check out their shop. pilljoy.shop

🚨 New essay drop! 🚨 “Behind the Scenes: My Novel Is Gonna Suck”  Allow me to dazzle you—from behind the security of a paywall—with all the reasons my novel is dragging me into a full-on psychological tailspin. (Free Preview 💸 Full Access for Paid Subs) 🔗 open.substack.com/pub/zamdanga...

Toxic workplaces leave employees sick, scared, and looking for an exit. Here's how to combat unhealthy conditions Organizations should build a culture of respect and safety and evaluate leaders on their conformity with those values. www.apa.org/topics/healt...

🚨 New essay drop! “Eternal Economic Growth? You’re Too Smart For That” 🚨 Capitalism isn't rewarding the fittest—it's selecting for those who can exploit others best. Let’s talk about why cooperation is better than culling. 🔗 open.substack.com/pub/zamdanga...

Just added a reel of older YouTube videos where I discuss autism and neurodivergence to my website. 😁 youtu.be/vi6spc7mk-s?...

I'm watching the new War of the Worlds movie on Prime. It's good fun with some intriguing, timely concepts and some good lines, but also very stupid. I would be interested in a 25-30% stupidity reduction edit. I think it could be done.

AI armchair sleuths are a new terror autistic people simply do not need.

The older I get, the more I find the idea of losing libraries depressing. I hope we learn to cherish them.

🚨 New essay drop! "For The Extroverted AuDHDer—A Social Survival Guide" 🚨 How to stop being used, invite rewarding friendships, and finally silence your “Social Urgency Gremlin.” 🔗 open.substack.com/pub/zamdanga...

New life goal: Have a crew to play this game with.

youtu.be/wlrjdCVAuG0?...

This is the most important thing you’ll read on the internet today. You won’t hear me say that often, I promise. open.substack.com/pub/positive...

This looks fun! As a neurodivergent person with ARFID, Vite Ramen has greatly positively impacted my life. Support! www.youtube.com/watch?v=SAir...

If you've ever wanted to connect better with the people close to you, this video is for you 🙂 Learn how to use your curiosity to connect deeper with your closest friends and loved ones. youtube.com/shorts/Jblfb... #friendship #autism #relationships

On my latest episode, I talked with Lisa Hurley about her experience as a late-diagnosed autistic Black woman, what inspired her new book "Space To Exhale" and the importance of community and self-care: https://www.beyond6seconds.net/239

Crazy how having the world's knowledge at your fingertips somehow makes possibility feel more narrow.

🚨 New essay drop! Narcissism—You Haven’t Heard This Take Yet 🚨 Narcissism has shaped my entire life. The fact that my heart hasn’t dissolved into a pile of ash is a wonder of the natural world. Now that I'm safe, I'm clear-headed enough to talk about it. 🔗 open.substack.com/pub/zamdanga...

🚩Is Your Best Friend The Devil? A List of Red Flags🚩 Not sure if your friendship is toxic? Or if you’re the toxic one? This list might help. 🔗 zamdanga.substack.com/p/is-your-be...

I don't think I've ever been this thrown by an Emmy snub. It exceeds irritating and hits political and suspicious. The show is glorious. collider.com/interview-wi...

Wow. 39 years of overthinking and I finally figured out something so simple. If you have to take 100% of the blame to recover a relationship? The other person doesn't want it recovered. 😑

🚨 New essay drop from Zamdanga Impact!🚨 A lot of companies need fresh talent, but may not admit they’re hesitant to hire autistic employees. Let’s talk about what they’re missing. 🔗 open.substack.com/pub/zamdanga...

I wish everyone who has ever betrayed someone understood that they punished a person for trusting them. How is that a wise way to live? 💔

Just saw a post that basically said if I don't purposely rough up and skewer my authentic autistic perfectionist style of writing, I'm going to be dismissed as AI. I wanted to throw my phone against the wall.