The Wild Mutations

Enjoy the mild vibrations of "A Hair In The Mouth" (it isn't real, but you'll feel it there forever). We recorded a midnight synth jam, mangled it in Reaper, and added a Will Blunderfield sample. Listen here: thewildmutations.bandcamp.com/.../a-hair-i.... Or here: open.spotify.com/album/3JMTov....

I was carrying my cat around the house before going for a run, so when I saw this wallaby I could vividly imagine how it would feel to pick it up. Though it would probably claw me if I tried

When he dies, they will eat him like cats sometimes eat their dead owners

I just got a phone notification that said "sports detected". What have we done to ourselves?

Hearing reports that Elon has been "torn open" by a defective massage chair. His 5 most based followers are to be granted the honour of hosing the chair clean

I'm releasing a song in a month that was originally called "Large Hard-On Collider". But that was too embarrassing to tell people, so I renamed it "A Hair in the Mouth". A cowardly move, but at least I kept the sample of Will Blunderfield talking about his "Stink Portal"

Just had a very long solo sunset beach walk. I saw 2 dolphins 🐬🐬, 2 turtles 🐢🐢, and a shovel nose shark (deceased) 🦈🪦. I listened to 3 whole skinny puppy albums. Highly recommended

Fuck you!!

We are all dogs locked in god’s hot car

I was also in the dining cart with Trump when he fled from Turkey. We explored each other's bodies in there

Throwing an adult tantrum because there's no beef tallow in the coffee at Chipmunks

SpaceX stock prices recover after they announce plans to fly a long, thin rocket right up Elon's urethra

I recently joined the darkwave band Sabre Siren, and had the privilege of opening for Terrvces at their album launch at The Cave Inn in Brisbane last Friday. They play very cool, synth-heavy post punk. Check them out if you get a chance

using this guy like a fuckin fleshlight 👍

I had a vision where my cat pissed on a bug and the bug died

Check out this deranged old cunt

If you ask the right way, they should sell you poppers at chemist warehouse

I wonder if those fish whose tongue gets eaten by a bug and then the bug lives in their mouth and takes the place of their tongue ever stop to think about how much better life was back when they had a real tongue instead of a bug tongue

“What the? ... Margaret! Margaret! Wake up! ... The bed’s covered with coconuts!”

They're saying Telstra has a case of the "diarrhoea"

No one can eat a large kebab as daintily as me. I get almost no sauce on my shirt

Sounds delicious!

The wretched "gamer" who consumes them

I dreamt the 3 Blue 1 Brown guy did a video explaining the science behind the movie Event Horizon, including the hell stuff

Congrats to the USA for somehow defeating themselves in war

Is there a more WRETCHED creature in the world than JD Vance?

Elon isn't really the world's first trillionaire, I got there ages ago. I just don't run my mouth off about it.

Once VR and the Metaverse really take off, we'll be able to escape this ravaged world and finally get some good Protoss dick

Each night before bed I spend 5 minutes putting the charger in and out of my phone's grimy little mouth at different angles, until it finally agrees to feed. This is how I unwind at the end of the day

What if cars are sentient and crashing is how they talk to each other?

Just because Hannibal Lecter is good at drawing and playing the harpsichord and knows anatomy and stuff, it doesn't mean he's not a dumbass

Yesterday I drank deep and tasted the plasma spring. NBD

Judging by the ads, Tubi really wants me to buy myself a vibrator

Me (when Bach finishes another 15 minutes of sinister minor key organ music with a happy little major chord): Bach, you cheeky fucker!

I love when my wife retweets me on Instagram

New single "Limp" is releasing as we speak: thewildmutations.bandcamp.com/track/limp It's a punk rock song with little bursts of thrash metal and electronica, plus clarinet and some otters I recorded at the zoo. #AusMusic #BrisbaneMusic

The new HOSTILE ARCHITECT ep is incredible, check it out: abeliskaudio.bandcamp.com/album/nebuch...

"May the Fourth be with you", you pricks

Discretely fellating the door knob

Low-fi beats to chill and self-suck to. Binaural beats self-suck 432 Hz pineal gland drones for chilling and slurping it. Non-woke version 480p

Trump got sucked into one of the engines of air force one. Rancid fat and turds reportedly sprayed 100m out the back of it

When i was born i went completely apeshit

Do what he says!

Trump's fontanelle is starting to leak

Toxic Vaccibated Beef

Hulk Hogan tried to do his trademark shirt ripping off trick, but not realising he was already shirtless, he grabbed his own skin and tragically tore himself asunder #hogan

I hate antimatter, it feels disgusting

I messed up and told my kids about the langoliers, now they're trying to bite everything in the house

Sports headlines are very funny when you don't follow sports

There is only one way for Elon to get back on Trump's good side: public seppuku with that chainsaw Milei gave him