This Mandolin Kills Fascists

Wrong. Because Mitch McConnel denied the senate an actual trial. In a real trial, the prosecutors would spend weeks presenting clear explanations of the president's crimes on national television, making it very hard for senators to hide. Thanks, Mitch, for fucking the country!

The right of a citizen to keep and arm bears shall not be infringed. Or was it something about short sleeves? I forget.

Deep into the digital age of music, people are still reinventing analog instruments. Here's a modified hurdy-gurdy. www.instagram.com/reels/DezQ2C...

I cannot really prove cause, here, but since I was too lazy to reinstall my bedroom blinds, the morning sun has been gently waking me up every morning for the past few years and my mental health and motivation are much, er, somewhat improved. I highly recommend if you can pull it off.

I've been listening to Sarah Paine from just before the Iran war warning about historical strategic blunders, like Putin's 2nd invasion of Ukraine, and her fear that "we" would do something similarly idiotic, like invade Greenland, or something. Hopefully we're not that stupid.

I once got a lorem ipsum like this from a co-worker, and assumed they were asking about the new font, letterhead, & etc., so I said "looks good to me so go with that" and they forwarded it to a thousand people. "Didn't you read it before you approved it?!" "Did you want me to check the spelling?"

Come on, Alabama. There must be potential candidates who actually earned their high school diplomas. Now if only Tuberville could run the state like a college ball team, then he'd out-play all his neighboring states until Alabama gets put on probation for cheating. www.wonkette.com/p/if-the-que...

STAND BY YOUR MAN I guess we are all just bullies.

Trump always has the best numbers.

"Candidate quality has a lot to do with the outcome."—M. McConnell Holy Ducking Shartballs, Competitive Races In Idaho And Florida Too? open.substack.com/pub/wonkette...

I never fiddled with miniatures before, but I once entered a Warhammer 40k tourney without knowing what those were, exactly, and won by applying obvious principles for things like occupying high ground and using cover. Applying basic theory and principles to an unfamiliar situation can get you far.

Who is... ¿El mas pendejo? www.wonkette.com/p/new-stupid... My vote is for Tuberville. Get 'em, Tubs! Wareagle!

Tommy Tuberville says I can fly planes! "I hope that brown furry is qualified," says Charlie Kirk. TT looks at him like he lost the script. "They're furries!"

I am slightly put out by the fact that I now have to specify that I am talking about an "oil" fryer when I am frying something.

A lot of JW's died, martyrs to the cause. Wait, what cause?

Gender-affirming care for those transitioning to metrosexual masculinity.

Just a random reminder that Pete Hegseth spends our rax dollars to pay people to say nice things about him on the Internet.

Cult members embrace suffering when it is for their leader. It is proof of their high social standing and identity within the cult. No matter how much suffering they endure, they are reluctant to abandon their leader as suffering will surely continue, and what will it all be for without the leader?

Trumpaluza takes DA LAS. It was an omen, like when Trump had to settle a $25 million fraud penalty on the day he was inaugurated with someone else's money. We should all be more superstitious.

Got a scam call from someone identifying themselves on caller ID as "Ipc" with a Texas number. That's IPC for India Penal Code, which has little force outside, you know, India. These scammers usually want you to send them bitcoin to protect you from tax non-payment oopsies. Seniors fall for it.

The Donald Trump $1 coins should be re-struck as $0 coins. Thank you for your attention to this matter.

I never promised you a rose garden. In fact, we had a rose garden but Melania had it ripped out.

You need concepts for thinking, not language. Language is useful for explaining concepts to other people, but you can understand how something works without knowing there is a word for it.

Running as "Republican-light" has seemed a flawed strategy for some time, now. www.washingtonpost.com/politics/202...

People seem confused by Trump's hair. He had a scalp flap rotation performed by a surgeon, to bring hair-bearing skin from the back of his head to the front. His father also had it done. It's his own hair, but the growth direction looks unnatural, which he hides by growing it long.

It's intentional. He cultivates his stupidity by never learning anything, especially facts about topics associated with his guests. His child-like naïveté apparently appeals to his listeners.

The richest man owns X. The second and fourth richest men control Google. The third richest man owns The Washington Post. The sixth richest man owns Facebook, Instagram, and WhatsApp. And now the seventh richest could soon take over both Paramount and Warner Bros. See the problem here?

Here's the first cactus flower of the second round. The first set was in May.

I didn't think I would ever do it, but I finally muted someone. They had bizarre opinions translated from... I think it was Chinese but I can't even check, now. They didn't have an amusing take, just something of a near non sequitur. A lot of them. And I'm not every going to be in the mood for that.

Trump should name the spot where Google HQ is located, 1600 Amphitheatre Parkway, Mountain View, California, as "Toadsuck Hole." The Googleplex at Toadsuck Hole. It will look fantastic on Google Maps and it's the one Trump project I would leave intact.

When the military produces secret propoganda... where have we seen that before? Actual fascist dictatorships. Good job Heggers, you've rediscovered one of the tools of fascism. And we thought you were negative value. www.washingtonpost.com/national-sec...

Without Trump, the Middle East would not even exist. I guess he should put his name on it, then.

So, apparently, I can only sing my heart out once a week. Or, I need at least three days to rest because two is clearly not enough. Let's see. Something about "warming up." Something about not "scraping the pan." Well, that one's not gonna work for me. I'll try to warm up the pan next time.

YOUR MOM CAN FINALLY QUIT THE DONKEY SHOW

Not entirely sober thoughts. MONOPOLIO is not a good name. Sounds like a hybrid disease. Maybe you treat it with poetic pills. Do I need a prescription?

TRUMP ADMINISTRATION EXPLORES NOVEL WAR STRATEGY Seems like the crowdsourcing was fruitful.

The new breed of cattle is "Soylent Green."

It's difficult to repair the drill holes in marble when you remove unwanted signs. I propose a compromise. THIS MARBLE FACADE DEFACED BY DONALD J. TRUMP

His source is an insider named "Ron Vara," who is well-known in Washington.

I cannot recall ever seeing Bugs dressed as a man, before.

It's all fake, don't believe it, but never fear, we are hunting down the people who leaked these state secrets. I mean, fake secrets. thehill.com/homenews/adm...

On the other hand, Texas will probably start issuing guns to school children. "Sorry, kids. No SNAP or health care, but here's your mandatory fire arm." thereload.com/district-jud...

I used to call him, "Secretary of War Crimes," back before he became the war crime secretary. Now, I really want to call him Major Metrosexual.

Trump still has lawyers who have not lost their licenses, yet.

Scientists are trying to awaken Frank Herbert's ghola so that he might properly complete his series of Dune books.

Saw a Youtube ad for "fermented" pickles, and apparently all their cucumbers are picked by one white woman with her hair down and no hat.

How long before Pete Hegseth starts making warriors wear makeup?