matty

hello, please read my comic. this is my new pinned post so please ignore it if you have already read my comic minimum 5 times all the way through (proof to be provided)

this film looks so much like the kind of thing my 9 year old would love. I checked the BBFC page though and it’s a 12A and sounds a bit too much for him at the cinema, so I’ll wait until we can watch it at home. very basic parenting tbh

was walking home and some kids asked if ‘do you want to join LGBTQ+?’ and started laughing. didn’t even know how to respond to that. very confusing hatecrime

getting an ECG this morning shall I chug three cans of Monster as a prank

more games lol mattyswebpage.neocities.org/posts/2026-1...

I hope Russell Brand spends the rest of his natural life behind bars!! What’s that? He’s on trial for WHAT?!

got motion sick from a video game for the first time ever, find out which one it was on my blog soon, it’s puke-tastic

A thread where I, the drawer and occasional goofer of Please Forgive Me, praises @josefschwem.com , the writer of Please Forgive Me. I don't reread the first one often, but it does a lot super quickly. Josef presents both our lovable goofball and the world she tries to smile through.

my good opinion once lost, is lost forever, unless you say something nice about me

always remember my friend’s mum telling us not to drink from open milk bottles full of water which we’d left outside in our ‘den’ which was a sheet of corrugated iron propped against a wall what was her fucking problem man

do I want a haircut or do I just want a different head

thanks for reading these! this one gets a little bit personal so a good one if you're a nosy parker mattyswebpage.neocities.org/posts/2026-1...

just realised that somebody didn't hack the nintendo eshop last night and make all the games cost £0.04 and i got Diablo IV for £0.04, it was actually a dream i was having

genuinely don’t believe that even one single post from fess hole is real

im back from my holiday and here is another one of these mattyswebpage.neocities.org/posts/2026-1...

😍

went to the Mary Shelley museum in Bath and fucking bottled it going down into the scary basement experience, absolutely fuck that. met this dude tho

If you missed it yesterday then we published a new YouTube video about Alien Trilogy on the Saturn! Check it out: youtu.be/5aYNoEPrd_U

Champed the absolute fuck out my bit

this should have been the big one. i thought of this in a work meeting and wrote it in my notebook and nodded sagely at myself

Hell yes

shits passing in the night

check this shit out mattyswebpage.neocities.org/posts/2026-1...

The next instalment of the Master System Directory is out over on @retronauts.bsky.social, go and read it at once: retronauts.com/article/2569...

love it in a movie when a parent is going through some shit and their kid says something sweet to them. love it even more when the kid says something utterly devastating

things don’t come in different colours any more. they come in different colourways

kicked out of aquarium for trying to do skin on skin with a fish

I have to fess up to liking those AI videos where it’s like a mad water slide and the guy falls out, sorry but they make me feel weird and that’s good to me

GET IN

weird how i got diagnosed with ADHD and suddenly every newspaper has a front page story saying ADHD NOT REAL like fuck my timing is just never good

i'm really keen to get to the NiGHTS one now so here's another post mattyswebpage.neocities.org/posts/2026-1...

writing about NiGHTS today has made me realise just how much i love NiGHTS. i wrote way too much

yeah but without AI this guy would have found some other way to weasel out of being a decent human

Clark Kent: Hey did you all see Superman this weekend? He was going totally brazzbo. Coworkers: Uh yeah. We’re going to print that he went faster than a speeding bullet. Clark Kent: I think he would like if we said he was going totally brazzbo. I think he would like if we tried to get that going.

am I mad or did we used to call 1v1 fighting games beat em ups?

having a “danger wank” (wanking in the danger room from x-men)

girls be like ‘my name is Izzy’ 😂

this is a fucking banger, it's as good as Cure, insane