efi

my apartment is so incapable of heating that my fingers struggle to bend even when everything is set to max heat

often when i wake up i have a heavy realization that i as a consciousness exist and it's daunting

boring ahh character design

from an artrade

steam recommended me far: changing tides and on the page i discovered there is a first part and i just finished it and it was beautiful

me when i see someone have an original character that looks a lot like mine but theirs is better and everyone likes theirs more and i start struggling to breathe from envy

i guess i'm not using soundcloud anymore

i want this creature to save me and hug me and comfort me

i NEED to finish my extended play before this bandcamp friday

my beautiful water shader for my beautiful game

i wish there were words to describe what i feel because i actually don't know how to convey it to others

but it feels wonderful whenever i can draw

i think i won't be able to create a world and fiction of my own because whenever i try to come up with something i realize that it is unpleasant because i am deeply disgusted by existence itself

and it still sounds bad

it's insane how much my functionality seemingly depends on how much comfort i am experiencing and thus i'm barely meaningfully functional

stupid drawing i should ki

i am driven insane in indescribable ways inherently by existing

i want to make music why can't i

fourth anniversary of my discovery of rain world it is the best experience that has ever happened to me in my life

casualties unknown really conveys physicality and being a physical sentient being and how awful it is to be that

efi presets be like

i think it's genuinely impressive how much i happen to cling to personal possessions and order and thus feel very bad when they change in the slightest (even as simple as moving an old folder to another drive)

i think escapism is the only and last way i am able to stay sane and alive at all right now

i think i need to spend many hours over many days being bored and not engaging in any activity but this is also very unpleasant and uncomfortable

i need to improve my way of playing games because right now it has become arcadelike mindless pressing of buttons to make numbers go high and/or get a win screen but i want it to feel like i'm the character and actually living through the story the fiction and gameplay provide

fuck my music making disability

this screenshot i took in casualties unknown might be a bit suspicious

new survivor discovered

i think i have what is called fear of missing out if i understood this term correctly, and in my case it applies to a game as a community phenomenon, and this is so unpleasant

14000+ music project files in 4+ years and exactly 0% of them sound good and it's still not enough to gain decent skills

their tails

original character or something

i oscillate so much between feeling content and feeling dread

skillfulness and wisdom are bliss and you really feel it when you get to experience both of them

i think creating characters that have minds greatly superior to humans' must be incredibly difficult because you just wouldn't know how they would behave due to their incomprehensible intelligence

so turns out "light eater" means "eats lightly" and not "eater of light" like i thought

i need to eliminate ignorance it's scary

i need to eliminate envy it's scary

drillbert from dome keeper (sorry for low skill art)

how to be good at drums step 1. download a drum loop