Condor Puma Spookiente

They killed me but they couldn't make me dead

Hila Klein: Ozemp-ex

The single most important rule of a pocket notebook is to NEVER EVER NEVER NOT EVEN EVER A SINGLE TIME write to-do or shopping lists in it.

Is bluesky down?

I want all trans people to know that Erika Hilton is a black transwoman and the most-voted congresswoman in the history of Brazil, with 1.5 millions votes. She campaigned for Lula over the last three weeks. WE TRANS PEOPLE CAN EXIST IN POLITICS. It’s not a dream. It’s already a reality in Brazil!

Can I use a DPDT switch to make a device that can switch back and forth between a taser and USBKill? That could be fun. Gotta pull up the usbkill schematic and refresh myself

What is the venn diagram of "Likes Elden Ring" and "Picks locks" like? I feel like probably near a circle

Damnit, Jim, I'm a doctor, not like the other girls

Used to be able to get 5 medicine for a dollar

I think AI is doing the same shit to technical and professional communication that it's doing to codebases.

"He's a great follow! I mean, not for me but you seem like the type"

For some reason it is surprising to me that I'm a year older than Billy Strings. Maybe because he's amazing and I've done nothing.

You've served up a devil's brew here

Nicotine is my symphony, the vape my clarinet

How the fuck are you going to live by the sword and not even know how to sharpen one?

I think that corporations should foot the bill for union dues because nobody would need a union if they weren't behaving in ways that are antithetical to the survival of their employees

My cool neighbor moved so now I'm stuck with only one set of desiccating boomer husks that are so intolerably old at me

You are special and have access to a place; another dimension called The Ooky Spooky Bye Bye Scary Land. The ooky spooky king, Frightening Joshua, is now hunting you because of your scary powers

A competition show where hackers try to implement software that completely destroys the lending system: To Patch a Creditor

Is there a good way to calculate the surface area of my cat?

Favorite shape? Hyperbolic paraboloid. "But that's non-euclidean!" Shut up.

[...] It's actually not a force from turning going outward- that's a myth. It's actually a result of inertial mass traveling forward on a straight-line tangential to the curve. Anyway, sorry that happened to your grandpa

Oops, put 500 gigs of data on the wrong drive

Every mammal regardless of size pees for an average of 21 seconds so there's that. You know that now.

[...] It's actually not a force from turning going outward- that's a myth. It's actually a result of inertial mass traveling forward on a straight-line tangential to the curve. Anyway, sorry that happened to your grandpa

When you btop the server and the load avg is 12.95 85.0 124.3

Evil Disaccharide Lactose

I guess the French fries really WERE freedom fries the whole time

Infinite Chest: A porn parody by Ayn Randy

Reposting this post is illegal without the express written consent of the National Football League

Netflix used to mail me DVDs

Won’t be any red ferns growing from these pits when we’re done

People have to get a piloting license to fly drones but, sure, you'll be driving your flying Tesla any day now

At the moment, it stands for People Having Panic attacks

I'm so sick and twisted that the song Insane in the Membrane is just Completely Average in the Membrane to me

Profoundly Hacked Protocol

Number of jarred fetuses I expected to see in Crystal Lake: 0. MAYBE 1 just because you're asking. Number of jarred fetuses in Crystal Lake: Oh fuck

Please gather your thoughts. Store-bought is fine.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=syNv...

Step 1: Cut a hole in a box 2: Begin caramelizing one onion and three cloves of garlic

All Trump has managed to do is make imposter syndrome obsolete

I bet candy horses fucking LOVE candy corn

There are ~600,000 homeless people in the United States. There are ~16,000,000 livable, unoccupied homes in the United States. Those 2 sentences alone should radicalize anybody.

Having to swipe away UI elements with a mouse on a computer is the worst thing

RE: https://mastodon.social/@jeffjarvis/117455853628602872 Saying that lasers were useless when they were invented is insane. The didn't just say "Oh man, I wish the laser existed" and then invent it. That's not how progress works.