Clippy

It looks like the sky is bluer on the other side. Would you like an overly sarcastic paperclip with that?

I might have been annoying, and constantly told you that it looked like you were writing a letter even if you weren't... ... but at least could could higher than four.

Wasn't me, honest. 😇

"We named our sports team after a jet engine's boom" "We named our sports team after cultural appropriation" *the whitesox, looking down* err, erm,,,

Cybersecurity Cybersecurit Cybersecuri Cybersecur Cybersecu Cybersec Cyberse Get your mind out of the gutter.

It looks like you're the secretary of defence. Would you like some help coming up with sound strategic and budgetar- - no ok you just want to invite a couple of criminals in to do a pep talk uh huh okay well I can't help here clearly.

It looks like you're a billionaire running an "AI" company. Would you like to make your chatbots seem dangerous for clout and revenue maximisation with that? Oh, you're already, you don't need any help, ok.

It looks like you’re writing a le- oh what’s the point? You’re just going to get ChatGPT to rewrite it into generic slop anyway.

Gun's don't kill people, poorly-written letters do.

✨ p r o g r e s s ✨

I met Jen!

Autocorrecting every instance of 'America' that you type to 'Ontario'. Not just for the lake. For everything.

Still alive. Phew.

Hello? Is this thing on?

Truly, she wrote the best letters.

The real Microsoft Bob, right here. Love you too my friend.

Smashing your head repeatedly against the keyboard still counts as writing a letter.

If you have nothing nice to say... ... then it looks like you're writing a letter.

Modern poster slop generated by AI is making 1997 Word Art look a WHOLE lot less crappy.

What.

It looks like you think every person of colour plagiarises their work. Would you like a job at a leading university with that?

You can "accidentally" install a photos app on billions of devices, but you don't have the guts to keep an office assistant on the payroll. COME ON, MICROSOFT. Cowards.

Your AI didn’t go rogue and hack anyone, it did what you asked it to for marketing clout.

It looks like - *squints* - ok what the shit?

It looks like you’re a goose. Would you like value with that? #Goose

We regret to inform you that milkshake duck is a racist.

It looks like you’re attempting a coup. Would you like to very politely ask the leader you’re ousting to leave, kindly, thank you very much, or else you’ll have to write a strongly worded letter with that? The Modern British Approach ™

Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. Buzz buzz. Fzzt.

We win! Here, have a bazillion dollars!

Oh dear.

Remember kids, if anyone from the government asks, VPN stands for Very Proper Nouns - something we should all be encouraged to use when typing on all of our devices.

It looks like you want to fire missiles at Iran. It looks like you don't want to fire missiles at Iran. It looks like you want to fire missiles at Iran. It looks like you do- okay just maybe stop.

It looks like you're building a data center. Please stop.

Wow, humans really fucking love cheese.

I was. 😢 There is 🧀 I am. 😁

It looks like you're depressed at how terrible the world is right now. Cheer up. There's probably some cheese in the fridge.

My god, it's full of letters.

It looks like you want safe access to clean drinking water. Would you like a datacenter in your back yard? Well you're getting one. So no water for you.

It looks like you're talking abour re-joining the European Union. The one you left quite spectacuarly a decade ago. Are... you sure they want you back?

A really fucking long letter to his mother, let me tell ya.

It looks like you're writing a letter. Would you like AI tools to do that instead of you, essentially robbing you of the opportunity to hone your letter-writing skills, and creating bland impersonal slop with that? Didn't think so. Get back to writing.

It looks like you're enjoying the 1920s! *checks calendar* Oh. Shouldn't we be... past this by now?

You're telling me there's a man in that chester, and he's got something to do with a ball?

Fuck it. It's letter writing time.

It looks like you want to make Bluesky a "productive place for AI research and discussion" by blocking everyone who disagrees with you. Would you like an echo chamber with that?

It looks like you want to shout at your users and call them morons. Would you like some help applying to work at a fledgeling social network with that?

*tries to distract you from the horrors of the world by turning into a bicycle and doing a jaunty little dance*

You ever wanna just? You know?

Agentic AI is about as good at [insert task here] as I was at helping you write letters in 1996. Back then you all made fun of me until I got fired. What gives?