💛amber, tbh💜

💛amber, tbh💜

@teas.soccer

yer pal amber they/she human, etc (allegedly) 32yo bipolar audhd drummer catgirlthing trans femby sapphic poly gendertrash ex 🥁 for biollante, ball&chain, kaiju queers signal: soccerteas.42 discord: teas.soccer insta: soccerteas.jom dms always open :3

493 followers891 following7.1K posts

💛amber, tbh💜
@teas.soccer

oh i have some stories to tell !! worst reaction to a show i ever played ? two years ago, halloween nite. it was a thursday. our setting, the double wide in dallas kaiju queers, opening for a band called rose hips, with local star joan westwood and dallas to nashville transplants green

🌑@fell.energy

i wonder what it feels like to absolutely bomb like no reaction at all its got to be like a cleansing bath for your soul

View full thread
💛amber, tbh💜
@teas.soccer

it wasn't a cleansing bath for the soul, but a permanent lesson for any band that's doing well enough to have *options* for where and when to perform, who to have on the bill, which shows to take, etc. id love to play there again, but for the right reasons and the right lineup and the right crowd

💛amber, tbh💜
@teas.soccer

the soundguy was ultimately fired, not just for how he treated us, but an apparent pattern of homophobia and transphobia, and had a public meltdown on facebook afterwards that called us out by name which we planned to use as artwork for an abandoned ep release XD

💛amber, tbh💜
@teas.soccer

oh i have some stories to tell !! worst reaction to a show i ever played ? two years ago, halloween nite. it was a thursday. our setting, the double wide in dallas kaiju queers, opening for a band called rose hips, with local star joan westwood and dallas to nashville transplants green

🌑@fell.energy

i wonder what it feels like to absolutely bomb like no reaction at all its got to be like a cleansing bath for your soul

View full thread
💛amber, tbh💜
@teas.soccer

there are maybe 30 people in the room by the end of our set, most of whom are there to perform. the only ones making noise are the other bands on the bill. we finish our set, and see a rush of people enter the room from the patio. people who preferred to stand outside in the cold over watching us.

💛amber, tbh💜
@teas.soccer

the rest of the nite, the show is electric and wonderful, and obviously, explicitly, not remotely punk. the room is packed, people are cheering at the end of every song, it goes down as a sold out show for rose hips. but not for us.

💛amber, tbh💜
@teas.soccer

oh i have some stories to tell !! worst reaction to a show i ever played ? two years ago, halloween nite. it was a thursday. our setting, the double wide in dallas kaiju queers, opening for a band called rose hips, with local star joan westwood and dallas to nashville transplants green

🌑@fell.energy

i wonder what it feels like to absolutely bomb like no reaction at all its got to be like a cleansing bath for your soul

View full thread
💛amber, tbh💜
@teas.soccer

we kick off our warmup/final soundcheck song, a minute long silly gimmick, and we can tell instantly that this crowd is not here to see us and isn't interested in what we're selling. no reaction at all. i yell my normal bits from the drums, "get the fuck up here let's fuckin go!" and nobody moves.

💛amber, tbh💜
@teas.soccer

we play our set. nobody is dancing. no one is cheering. polite claps between songs. we're locked in, we're full energy, we got the setlist we headlined with the previous week to a packed house. and nobody fucking cares they are not here for a punk band and they are not here for us

💛amber, tbh💜
@teas.soccer

oh i have some stories to tell !! worst reaction to a show i ever played ? two years ago, halloween nite. it was a thursday. our setting, the double wide in dallas kaiju queers, opening for a band called rose hips, with local star joan westwood and dallas to nashville transplants green

🌑@fell.energy

i wonder what it feels like to absolutely bomb like no reaction at all its got to be like a cleansing bath for your soul

View full thread
💛amber, tbh💜
@teas.soccer

it's whatever, similar shit had happened to us. but then he's getting upset at me bringing a 6 piece kit with two hihats and extra shit to mic, and i'm telling him "everything here is here on purpose and will be used" as if im disrespecting him by wanting to play *my* kit assembled for that setlist

💛amber, tbh💜
@teas.soccer

we get thru a messy soundcheck, we're all a bit shaken but we're quickly shaking that off and sounding great. we take a break as the attendees trickle in and discover that this is gonna be a small crowd, and one that is not there to dance and mosh but to soak in soundscapes not our normal crowd XD

💛amber, tbh💜
@teas.soccer

oh i have some stories to tell !! worst reaction to a show i ever played ? two years ago, halloween nite. it was a thursday. our setting, the double wide in dallas kaiju queers, opening for a band called rose hips, with local star joan westwood and dallas to nashville transplants green

🌑@fell.energy

i wonder what it feels like to absolutely bomb like no reaction at all its got to be like a cleansing bath for your soul

View full thread
💛amber, tbh💜
@teas.soccer

normally, kaiju queers had a strong local denton contingent that would turn up for our shows anywhere we played. but a thursday nite in dallas ? on halloween ? yeah, that's a tough sell. and two parties in our orbit had already been planned before we booked the show.

💛amber, tbh💜
@teas.soccer

but fuck it we ball! we turn up for sound check, and im taking in the feeling of my first time playing in dallas' deep ellum, a lifelong dream. and the sound guy immediately ruins the vibe. repeat, deliberate misgendering of all 4 of us, a band without any boys being called "fellas" "brothers" etc

💛amber, tbh💜
@teas.soccer

oh i have some stories to tell !! worst reaction to a show i ever played ? two years ago, halloween nite. it was a thursday. our setting, the double wide in dallas kaiju queers, opening for a band called rose hips, with local star joan westwood and dallas to nashville transplants green

🌑@fell.energy

i wonder what it feels like to absolutely bomb like no reaction at all its got to be like a cleansing bath for your soul

View full thread
💛amber, tbh💜
@teas.soccer

that show was still super fun, the last time i played at the now-defunct andy's, but it wasnt the show either of us wanted to perform. so we were invited back for halloween. rose hips had been trending towards a softer sound, joan westwood is a dream pop girl. we're a fucking punk band.

💛amber, tbh💜
@teas.soccer

so we're now tasked with opening a mostly psych/dream/indie sound set, as we're getting weirder and faster and more aggressive with our sound. our new material then was really getting less and less poppy and much less normie friendly. this'll be interesting.

💛amber, tbh💜
@teas.soccer

oh i have some stories to tell !! worst reaction to a show i ever played ? two years ago, halloween nite. it was a thursday. our setting, the double wide in dallas kaiju queers, opening for a band called rose hips, with local star joan westwood and dallas to nashville transplants green

🌑@fell.energy

i wonder what it feels like to absolutely bomb like no reaction at all its got to be like a cleansing bath for your soul

💛amber, tbh💜
@teas.soccer

we had opened for rose hips two months before at andy's in denton, a very odd show itself. weeks before, covid hit the kaiju queers, and i caught it in mid-august. i was still not back to 100% the night of that show. and rose hips had a death in the family, turning their set very somber and ambient

💛amber, tbh💜
@teas.soccer

despite all of this, i enjoyed my trip. i got to spend rare quality time with someone extremely important to me, the tinzo+jojo dark library event was unbelievable, the hostel was instantly nostalgic, the city itself deserves a run back. just, not by myself as much. that feels scary now.

💛amber, tbh💜@teas.soccer

The Streetcar Incident, a thread cw violence etc i flew to san francisco early saturday morning to go to an event that night with my friend summer, who flew in later that day around 4pm im over on the west side of the city, i need to get to the northeast to the hostel to meet summer

💛amber, tbh💜
@teas.soccer

The Streetcar Incident, a thread cw violence etc i flew to san francisco early saturday morning to go to an event that night with my friend summer, who flew in later that day around 4pm im over on the west side of the city, i need to get to the northeast to the hostel to meet summer

💛amber, tbh💜@teas.soccer

thank u everyone for the kind words and reaching out and checking in and everything yesterday 💛 it really meant a lot 🥺

View full thread
💛amber, tbh💜
@teas.soccer

then on that ride and subsequent walk right up to the door of the hostel while getting details from summer, call gf and just sobbing and trauma dumping and rambling and everything a wounded scared animal brain does

💛amber, tbh💜
@teas.soccer

while im waiting for this fuckin bus, there's this kid, latter teen, tiktok haircut, socks and flip flops, walking around me with his phone out on some soundboard website, making eye contact with me as i am sobbing, as he plays the grindr message notification sound repeatedly for fifteen minutes

💛amber, tbh💜
@teas.soccer

The Streetcar Incident, a thread cw violence etc i flew to san francisco early saturday morning to go to an event that night with my friend summer, who flew in later that day around 4pm im over on the west side of the city, i need to get to the northeast to the hostel to meet summer

💛amber, tbh💜@teas.soccer

thank u everyone for the kind words and reaching out and checking in and everything yesterday 💛 it really meant a lot 🥺

View full thread
💛amber, tbh💜
@teas.soccer

and people block him from me and i say "give it a bloody rest buddy, why are u doing this?" and he yells "fuck you!" and other shit but im off and walking away fast and far and i just start walking. trying my best to hold it together and then the tears come and im so fucking afraid and upset

💛amber, tbh💜
@teas.soccer

and now im somewhere in San Francisco alone as it's getting colder and darker and im over an hour late to where i wanted to be and i am unwell i find a bus that could get me pretty close to where i needed to be

💛amber, tbh💜
@teas.soccer

The Streetcar Incident, a thread cw violence etc i flew to san francisco early saturday morning to go to an event that night with my friend summer, who flew in later that day around 4pm im over on the west side of the city, i need to get to the northeast to the hostel to meet summer

💛amber, tbh💜@teas.soccer

thank u everyone for the kind words and reaching out and checking in and everything yesterday 💛 it really meant a lot 🥺

View full thread
💛amber, tbh💜
@teas.soccer

and so this fuckin tango continues and he's grabbed my arm a few times and keeps throwing himself into me being as obnoxious as possible and i know im being targeted for the first time in my life i have felt unsafe in public being visibly queer and trans he's clearly mad i called him out before

💛amber, tbh💜
@teas.soccer

im nowhere near where i need to go but ive had enough and i need out of this car and i go to leave and he takes one more lean at me as im wiggling to the exit and i turn and glare at him and he lunges with his chest out and arm back and says "you really wanna start something, bitch?"

💛amber, tbh💜
@teas.soccer

The Streetcar Incident, a thread cw violence etc i flew to san francisco early saturday morning to go to an event that night with my friend summer, who flew in later that day around 4pm im over on the west side of the city, i need to get to the northeast to the hostel to meet summer

💛amber, tbh💜@teas.soccer

thank u everyone for the kind words and reaching out and checking in and everything yesterday 💛 it really meant a lot 🥺

View full thread
💛amber, tbh💜
@teas.soccer

i am continuing to speak up and call him out to no response or reply from anyone and then the streetcar has to stop abruptly because in this city cars can drive in the streetcar lane i keep trying to like keep myself from flinging into him, and then he grabs my wrist instead of the railings

💛amber, tbh💜
@teas.soccer

and i yank my arm back and put it somewhere else, and he leans back right into me in a way i would only do *intimately* and during all of this im like buddy it's not a mosh pit, keep it to urself, we're just trying to get home and ive still got my large heavy backpack on putting me off balance

💛amber, tbh💜
@teas.soccer

The Streetcar Incident, a thread cw violence etc i flew to san francisco early saturday morning to go to an event that night with my friend summer, who flew in later that day around 4pm im over on the west side of the city, i need to get to the northeast to the hostel to meet summer

💛amber, tbh💜@teas.soccer

thank u everyone for the kind words and reaching out and checking in and everything yesterday 💛 it really meant a lot 🥺

View full thread
💛amber, tbh💜
@teas.soccer

he decides to make me his new target and he's like, leaning back into me, elbowing me, hip checking me, not super hard but like the things u do at a concert to someone who's being shitty about personal space this was deliberate, this was trying to get a reaction

💛amber, tbh💜
@teas.soccer

i kept adjusting to be further away from him as possible he's moving to make sure i don't have a chance to really get away or to get a secure hand hold on anything so that im more likely to fall into him he's touching my hand and shoving my hand off the railings

💛amber, tbh💜
@teas.soccer

The Streetcar Incident, a thread cw violence etc i flew to san francisco early saturday morning to go to an event that night with my friend summer, who flew in later that day around 4pm im over on the west side of the city, i need to get to the northeast to the hostel to meet summer

💛amber, tbh💜@teas.soccer

thank u everyone for the kind words and reaching out and checking in and everything yesterday 💛 it really meant a lot 🥺

View full thread
💛amber, tbh💜
@teas.soccer

at the stop she gets off the abrupt braking of the streetcar causes her to actually bump into the guy, he kinda shoves her, she shoves back and knocks his sunglasses off, says something like "hands to yourself asshole" he replies "what are you doing you stupid cunt"

💛amber, tbh💜
@teas.soccer

i have maybe six stops to go. if i get off this thing, how long does it take to find another way downtown ? how crowded is that gonna be ? i elect to stay on the thing and i end up getting shuffled closer to the front again and at this point im wedged up near him behind the drivers compartment

💛amber, tbh💜
@teas.soccer

The Streetcar Incident, a thread cw violence etc i flew to san francisco early saturday morning to go to an event that night with my friend summer, who flew in later that day around 4pm im over on the west side of the city, i need to get to the northeast to the hostel to meet summer

💛amber, tbh💜@teas.soccer

thank u everyone for the kind words and reaching out and checking in and everything yesterday 💛 it really meant a lot 🥺

View full thread
💛amber, tbh💜
@teas.soccer

our culprit is a guy, about 5ft10 or so, asian dude, short hair, looks like he's trying to grow a goatee. he's got a black t-shirt and jeans on, black sneakers, sunglasses sitting on his forehead, and airpods in. build of a guy who works out.

💛amber, tbh💜
@teas.soccer

He gets into it with a woman who has repeatedly said "hey, quit shoving me" "you're bumping into me" "keep it to yourself" etc i am the only other person on the car to speak up and tell him to quit it across maybe six people between us

💛amber, tbh💜
@teas.soccer

The Streetcar Incident, a thread cw violence etc i flew to san francisco early saturday morning to go to an event that night with my friend summer, who flew in later that day around 4pm im over on the west side of the city, i need to get to the northeast to the hostel to meet summer

💛amber, tbh💜@teas.soccer

thank u everyone for the kind words and reaching out and checking in and everything yesterday 💛 it really meant a lot 🥺

View full thread
💛amber, tbh💜
@teas.soccer

and since this is such a massive interruption, nobody knows what to do and none of the transit apps have any accurate info so i follow people over to a streetcar platform that's looking like the best way to get further northeast and at least within a reasonable walk of where i need to be

💛amber, tbh💜
@teas.soccer

it's fucking crowded as shit when i get on, im the last one the driver lets in i eventually shuffle in as far towards the middle as possible cuz ideally im not going quite end of the line but pretty damn close. goal is get reasonably close that i can catch a bus if not just walk a handful of blocks

💛amber, tbh💜
@teas.soccer

The Streetcar Incident, a thread cw violence etc i flew to san francisco early saturday morning to go to an event that night with my friend summer, who flew in later that day around 4pm im over on the west side of the city, i need to get to the northeast to the hostel to meet summer

💛amber, tbh💜@teas.soccer

thank u everyone for the kind words and reaching out and checking in and everything yesterday 💛 it really meant a lot 🥺

💛amber, tbh💜
@teas.soccer

i hop on one of the trains that like dart is partially street level partially subway well someone drove down into the subway station and that shut the entire system down in downtown i have to get off that train and then im just walking somewhere else in downtown

💛amber, tbh💜
@teas.soccer

this captures the feelings i had walking onto that field in houston for the first time in a way i haven't been able to put into words 💛 baseball 💛

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