Dan “Tim” Bangle

Catsup’s Wario

Never should have shown his partner that picture of the boat he was going to buy.

Do I have to do everything myself around here?

I hate the phrase “if ya nasty”—I’m not: I’m gentle and polite and I want dessert too.

Hey. Cut that out.

They’re right and they should say it.

I do not get anything from the Blazers that I could not get from the Pickles, fucking try me.

["Age of Capricorn" by Boards of Canada voice] U S A M A; M double-A U S. You... uh... P, E N I...S. Um... pe—

Me when I’m watching a guy’s date order apple juice as an entree.

Between this and Dundon “threatening” to move the team to Kalamazoo, I think we’re just about done here.

[menacingly] today is where your book begins; the rest is still unwritten

There are people who buy a TV for the Superbowl, and then there’s me, who bought headphones for the new Boards of Canada album.

Adrian Brown officiated my (and my wife’s) courthouse wedding, and she did great at that—no inappropriate comments, no weird power trips. If Multnomah County spins up a circuit just for weddings, she has my vote.

Tom Dundon heard people calling the Blazers a poverty franchise and thought “eureka!”

Everyone’s back is behind them, that’s where it’s supposed to be.

Okay credit where credit’s due

we fuckin to Geogaddi tonight

Dear Blazers, Please teach the loathèd Clippers the true meaning of pain. Thank you, Dean

You are at the CLUB. I am at the BANK. We are ALL ONE.

the middle class will be taxed. you will pay the transit fares. shoplifting is bad. you will live as a civilized person in a mutually co-operative society or you can live in the woods like the animal you are.

I’m so obsessed with the new Gorillaz album that it is making me confused about what year it is and how old I am (because I last felt this way about Plastic Beach… sixteen years ago).

“What can ya do?” — Anti-Buddha

Horse Parliament unanimously votes down its 1,034th straight bill.

POV: I have invited you to “La Casa”

Let’s all sit down for a “shutting the fuck up and not shooting yourself in the dick” lesson from… a Brit.

Since becoming a parent, my utility function has become embarrassingly simple: fewer crying children. I don’t know what ICE’s function is at this point other than making children cry.

I count down to the first of every month, but I admire your restraint.

Inventing Mithrandir, an app that lets you dispatch an old man with a beard and a stick to beat the shit out of these guys.

Some inspiring words on cinema in the streaming era from the Pope. Yes, THAT Pope.

ME: Hey Quebecois Office Supply Hulk Hogan, are your wares legit? QUEBECOIS OFFICE SUPPLY HULK HOGAN:

If there’s one thing that will win the hearts and minds of Portlanders, it’s a sudden influx of Californians.

this is basically portland's version of a haka

Lot of ruined souls in the replies to this one.

imagining trimet doing a limited run of HOP cards with designs from local artists but then the artists are mike bennett, portland gear, and blcksmth

Done and done, what else you got

The Execution of the Doge, by Delacroix, 1825. He was beheaded for attempting a coup d'etat. Apropos of, you know, absolutely nothing at all.

This is fan-made, which supports one of my most ardently-held beliefs: Nolan fans are generally morons.

Noun McNounface is a very strong signal to me of a weak and attenuated soul.