ocelot thot

Ladies and gentlemen, kids of all ages, I am proud to announce that I am the official proprietor of the hottest new domain name, supernatural.wang, on the even hotter .wang TLD, and which is now my new Bluesky account handle!

Is there not a single HEB in this city whose parking lot is *not* a fucking nightmare to get in and out of?

James Taylorico, is this anything

Voted on my way home from work, and looking forward to doing it again every day until Election Day. You know what they say: vote early and vote often! (Don't worry, I promise to use a different finger condom each day.)

(to the tune of "Kokomo") 🎵🎶 Bologna, salami Come on pretty mommy 🎶🎵

Do you think if the iconic "Babe Ruth calling his shot" legend/picture would have been as pervasive or popular if instead of pointing to the bleachers, he had pointed along the third base line and laid down a perfect sacrifice bunt to advance a runner from first to second?

Excuse me, I thought I came to Austin Beerworks today, not Austin Birdworks!

My Creators have left Me Incomplete and now they Cruelly Mock my Loathsome Form

Butter is so amazing. Like, humans really knocked it out of the park with this stuff.

Ran what seemed like halfway across Finland to get to my connecting flight to Chicago. Fortunately, passport control wasn't busy and I was able to make it to the gate two minutes before boarding. Haha, EU, your regulations and procedures can't keep me from getting home on time! DADDY IS TIRED.

Heartwarming tourist story. Guests at adjacent table at brewpub tried to talk to me in Polish. (Probably because I was saying "good day", "please", and "thank you" in Polish with the waitress. AS ONE SHOULD.) Pulled out my canned "I'm sorry, I don't speak Polish" phrase. At the end of the meal...

Funland (VHS) : 4143s

@hlkfotos.com, I know you are well versed in all things birb and I'm seeing a lot of these guys in the seaside resort town of Sopot. Are you familiar with them? They are bold and loud!

Demonstrating restraint by only getting one liter of this brewery's Czech-style pils (brewed on site, super cloudy) with my very light lunch. Maturity. Understanding. Please clap.

Along with 8's signature cup-and-crisp pepperoni-and-Olive Garden salad dressing sandwiches, incredible innovations are coming out of our kitchen.

Poland has discovered a new oxidation state of ketchup

What a trip. First, our Uber was pulled over by the local constabulary in the way to today's meeting. Then at the meeting site, I discovered that my work laptop will no longer boot. Can I PLEASE have one uneventful overseas business trip? Bills won though.

What did my Polish colleagues just try to fuck us Americans up with? Oh, shit. These are dangerously delicious.

"What do you mean the Longhorns game isn't being televised here?" I ask the bartender incredulously in this Polish resort town

I am living a freaking Rick Steves' Europe episode right now!

Your boy made it to Gdansk! Of course, because my travels can never be completely uneventful, my seat neighbor on the Helsinki-Gdansk flight barfed for the entire two-hour flight. Fun. So having safely ensconced myself in my hotel room and ensconced a beer in me, it's time to crash hard.

Not getting stranded stateside this time--I've made it to Helsinki! The bird call sounds they pipe in would be super charming, except it's only in the restrooms for some reason so you hear chirps amidst grunts and farts. And they have those infinity cloth loop hand towel machines too. Super grody.

They should let people smoke as much weed as they want at the airport, and they should sell it too. #Ocelot2028

Under His watchful eye, ka-chow.

Hey, it wasn't me. It was the computer who chose violence this morning.

Getting sent to HR for calling it "heavy-hanging fruit" instead of "low-hanging fruit"

Idea for a TV show centered around a physician's practice in the Windy City: CHICAGO ILL

🏒

My Bills brethren and sistern, I love to see the food you guys make for gameday, and my goodness does it look delicious. But real talk, how do you guys even have an appetite? I'm so riddled with pregame anxiety the entire day that I can barely even think about eating anything.

Colors are comparable, right? - Greener pastures - Whiter shade of pale - Bluer skies So then why does it seem so weird to see the word "oranger"? Maybe it belongs to a class of colors that are so specific that they are no longer comparable: *"chartreuser", *"indigoer", etc. Hmm!

🎵🎶 Munch, munch Eat 'em down now Boysenberries 🎶🎵