Sunset Dweller

99% of Americans do not think Cheesecake Factory is fine dining. 99% of 16 year old prom dates do though, which is why elected Republicans believe in it's ubiquity

Beef Supreme is coming out of retirement

I'm still not certain what peptides are, but it feels like everyone I avoid talking politics with is on them

It's just him showing up to cough on babies

Time to consider becoming a brick thrower

I bring a whole party sub to every interview because it demonstrates that I know how to party and I know how to share

The cops tranqed a mountain lion in front of my house this morning. I do not live in the wilderness

Is it good when your mechanic recognizes your voice over the phone?

My patio table seems to be melting mosquitoes and various small flying bugs

There's a decided lack of curb stomping in this man's life

This is how you turn Florida blue

Just let him build his bunker and when he loses the election and gets in it to "stay in office," just let him. Lock the door and problem solved.

She didn't consider human decency a political position

Sincere thank you to my auto correct for catching a very unfortunate typo in chicken nuggets

What if we give Luigi twelve weeks of training, a radio, and $150k in taxpayer funded overtime? Then can we encourage him to shoot whomever he wants?

Finally saw The Odyssey this weekend and can I just say holy shit we are finally gonna get the Street Fighter 2 movie we always deserved

WaPo is selling loosies

Getting a lot of podcast ads for Ohio recently

He had hundreds of children of which one survived

Your car and your pet can always tell when you have a little extra money in your pocket

I tried muting the cry laugh emoji and it does not seem to work

Complaining about "men in women's sports" sounds extra stupid when you're a professional basketball player and therefore already better at your sport than 99.99% of men on earth

Famously popular comedian on bluesky, Bill Maher

What do we want? Means tested dogshit! When do we want it? Who gives a shit, I'm personally doing great!

I think a lot of people need to recognize the difference between serial killers and mass murderers

I really expected Lindsey Graham's sister to look a lot more like Lindsay Graham

Seems like there should be at least one famous soccer player with no hands

The clown shit comparison of the DSA to Stalin aside, you were a republican my whole life and if it comes to a choice between the techno-fascist ethnostate party or doubling taxes on your vacation home, we both know what box you're going to check

Stfu man. We know you were always gonna choose the Nazis

Fake ass conservatism. You know how your daddy would've dealt with depression? Do that

Hell yeah britmonkey.com/2020s-politi...

Ed Norton is talking to himself

This dog is probably the mayor of some small town

Mamdandate.

Sounds like you're just feeding B-52s to the advanced radar system...

Is soccer the only sport where they don't tuck their shirts in?

People are significantly more accepting of the state being allowed to kill you than you being allowed to kill yourself

These mods are getting serious

I didn't know trees could catch fire from the inside

The luxury of believing in problems that aren't entirely made up

Top 25 in no particular- The Wire Breaking Bad The Simpsons First two seasons of The Chapelle Show Eastbound and Down The Righteous Gemstones The Shield The Sopranos Robot Chicken Futurama Veep Game of Thrones It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Schitt's Creek What We Do In the Shadows

If you want to bet on sports, you should have to interact with a man named Butch Hunkee in the back of a steakhouse to do it

The entire US government is not only a force to protect the wealth of the wealthy, it's a force to turn all the rest of us into revenue generators for the wealthy up until such point as we stop being useful and die

Rhymes with ICEE

Whether you get that life saving surgery is basically up to a guy who chooses between one of two stamps on his desk. One that says "you get money" and one that says "I get money."

I watched Marty Supreme over the weekend and, while I enjoyed it, I kept watching with an eye toward a weird twist that I had heard about. I picked up a couple of foreshadowing clues that would track with the twist I was expecting. And then there was no twist. The thing I heard about never happened

You can bury me in my 07 Tacoma

Since all these assholes love sci-fi stories so much, let's try The Ones Who Walk Away from Omelas but instead of an innocent child, it's everyone in this picture locked in a dark cell and brutalized for the benefit of humanity. Literally beat the money out of them to feed and house everyone

There should be a penalty for dying in office over the age of say, 70. Like none of your assets can pass to your family but will instead be absorbed by the state or given to The Trevor Project or something