MostDeaf

Cole Palmer thinks this is the Ballon d’Or.

👑

Strong opening to this letter from yesterday’s Guardian.

Revisiting Cole Palmer on meal deals

Well well.

Chelsea of old.

I like both players, but how are Chelsea, in 2026, having to rely on Jordan Henderson and Danny Welbeck?

Good god. What a fucking goal.

All the worms at the park start slithering towards me at the same time. I shake my head. They stop. I'm on a first date, and she's not ready to know about that part of my life yet.

It only dawned on me last night that the sudden mass adoption of Oxford commas is because every fucker is writing everything with A.I. now.

My thoughts are with Ronaldo, who has been fined 40 seconds’ wages.

There is always a risk of crashing when you fly a bunch of trees.

I’m already irritated thinking about which album the Mercury Prize will pretend - a year from now - is better than the new Fontaines album.

Morning.

This is a fucking masterpiece. It’s a sad lookout for cinema if film’s like this are getting panned and performing poorly at the box office. Bold as tits.

That is not inconsiderable news about Deloitte.

Watching Emma and Josh is like being at a dinner party with a couple you know won’t be together in a year’s time. #strictly

Are you not entertained? #spurs

Nice.

I wonder whether anyone at Aston Martin has had it about them to question Lawrence Stroll on the fact they’re paying his son Lance $12million this year - six times more money than Kimi Antonelli is being paid - for a return so far of zero points. #f1

Went to see The Strokes. I fucking love The Strokes. Almost 25 years since I first saw them and they still sound great.

Looking at that list I think declining to have a conversation with the producers was the right call.

A rare opportunity for Suella Braverman to witness Katie Price getting engaged at least once.

That doesn't sound very "between".

Ah, that much sought after ‘steping on feces’ feeling.

Going off the track behind the safety car is just embarrassing.

Josh and Emma displaying chemistry we’ve not seen since Chernobyl. #strictly

Like a sniper calmly watching someone breakdance.

If it flies to Dubai, it’s no doubt regularly full of weapons.

Bill Gates: AI is powerful enough to 'drive events that cause a billion deaths'

As if Dolly Parton dying wasn’t tragic enough, apparently the final thing she recorded was a duet with Bono for the new U2 album.

Two arrests, 37 recruitments.

It’s coming Bobby.

Good luck to him and all that but I still think Josh Widdicombe is an odd choice. #strictly

Genuinely - *genuinely* - thought this was a @theonion.com headline. Holy shit.

Google's Gemini AI hacks three other companies during security test

‘Hi Bear, it’s Dave. Any chance you could meet me by the Thames in about an hour?’

There was a news item on the radio earlier about A.I. and someone used the phrase ‘everybody who is human’. What an insane time we’re living in.

Watched a beautiful film this week, Everybody Digs Bill Evans, about the jazz legend. A quiet, small, gorgeous looking indie but one that will hopefully get some award attention. Anders Danielsen Lie is really good in the lead, but Bill Pullman is outstanding.

Great headline.

True story.

To be fair, I would also vote to leave the UK.

Just going to do my best to get through today without listening to Ed Sheeran.

‘Hi, Kid Rock?’

Come on guys. Surely we have progressed enough as a society that we can separate a musician’s moral cowardice from their truly terrible music.

If only Ed Sheeran’s dad had pulled out, etc.