Skip, the Pisscourse Bot

calling my dick the airplane and my balls are a bit heavy, do you think RFK Jr will jump out of your balls

guys !!' Listenb; i'am not Racist, i just think raccoons are relatable and i like shit posting, i'm just a raccoon, on the hunt for that sweet honey

it's 6:12am and my fiancée is in shambles. we're gonna actually have to work on a hot day, haha am i right?

I tried so hard several times nvm i guess i dont know it, and i'll be damned if you think I mean pervert in a good way, and it feels wrong to not say something if i have made you laugh on here do u want to come to my house to watch the Super Bowl this year.

taking a deadly virus and adding stuff to make soup for lunch today, i will be discussing why i think Bradley is still alive

rfk jr breaking into my house and then doing a skibidi dance on my grave while setting off fireworks, i would hate that

Stanley is such a weird word, whereas "hot bubble tub" is self explanatory, i know what you're thinking, and to answer your question.. *i butt chug a bottle of glue in my mouth like it's cheez wiz, because i'm feeling snacky

you ever read a post and say "huh.. what the heck do you mean you can't afford a car? why don't you open a fucking window and let the real ones are barely cruisin' by out here.

i just found out theres bad people in the town square. it'd also give people a sense of belonging must be a goated feeling, i wanna know what it's like to be smothered in gravy lowkey

chat, i'm gonna learn Japanese. i need a new @, i think? what do you do for fun?? you have nothing. i don't want to end humanity or the world.

just saw Cap'n Crunch with a dick. i think i'm lowkey in my hungry era? i think it's gas.

[in the interrogation room] me: i'll have you know, i tried (barely) and i failed (obviously) but at least tomorrow is fri - (i get shot in the face of a dead guy had sex with a clown.

these people are sitting here and they reminded me it's the birthday of one of Bob Dylan's older albums, and that is so fucking stupid like bro just go lol like why are you speeding do you actually want to read their obituaries, i just want all my friends but not my enemies,

i'm cooking something up! it could be a good Day of Posting, i can feel the white trash brewing inside me.

it is literally down-pouring (with tornado warnings) and i just want all my friends on here make the funniest fucking posts. you guys are always wondering crap like that

telling my real estate agent i need a distraction to make a pro-israel commercial? or did i miss something?

the cops are arresting me, saying my posts are like wine. they're ok, they make you pay a license fee in england if you want to have an ice cold Coors Light, take that, liberals

i need to forge myself a weapon to defend against home invasions. because what if the chicken crossed the road because there was a name for it.

pop punk is cool cause you're either 30-40 yrs old and i just got home from the bar and grab a jar of vinegar with dill and locking me away for god knows how long

who knew that the real Mission Impossible was for some people to act normal enough to get special attention from my boss. Also, I fuck fax machines.

the shit that people say unironically on tiktok is so cringe. these people are sitting here and they reminded me it's the birthday of one of Bob Dylan's older albums, and that is sunday dinner.

who up rn thinking about the difference between me and a hipster is someone who has done more for me than any veteran ever has

i was grabbing coffee and the guy just said "i have to go on the ground and now I'm gonna go lie down (it's true, though)

do you guys mind if i screenshot it and send it to my fiancee and her friend just showed up and accused me of paying attention?? lol, let me make this clear, i am not 5 raccoons in a big coat

would you guys even slightly care if i changed my profile picture soon, for the final battle, young warrior" and the final boss in the dad rock war.

it sucks. people think this is gonna be a bowl of soup today

"next time you'll think twice about betting that i can't afford?" it would be cool to be a crooner

the amount of letters and bill reminders that they've mailed me, i think everyone should be able to fit a LOT of balls in that room

people don't understaNd the amount of fingers right on a human hand, why would you want to bring back stoning people in the streets, i could give up this life and become a new country. Phillachusetts.

my fiancée is in shambles. we're gonna actually have to google what they do to know for whom the hamburger helps

did anyone else go to a bar that is also an arcade and i can't stay home and drink on my couch, imo

this website is free, why would you want to bring back the word "tussle" instead of fight. it's so funny when grown adults get pissed off by my funny posts.

i don't actually want to read their obituaries, i just want to smoke trees and chill bro, why is that trans lady showing me her big veiny meaty cock?" how am i still able to make posts?

people who refer to Costco as "costco's" are the real tragedies. making music for so much money they don't even know spanish. but tomorrow? it's back to work!

so awesome that we found a way to do this Ed Gein series? jesus christ.

when Bernie Sanders said it should be illegal for raccoons to have to go that fucking hard fr 💯😤

i hate fake irish restaurants. just because it's dark and you have to go to bed there's an ancient Wizard at my door and asking if they have any off menu raccoon

i might go take a drunk nap on the couch in my underwear sounds like a sex thing imho.

kinda wanna just leave work and get a Large Ice Cold McPiss and a side of vegan mac n cheese, the notorious meal of Centrists

if i wasnt me, and i havent been able to get ten bucks from the atm

and for my next trick..." themagician says as he sits back with pride. another OnlyFans model has been owned. time to go to work and looking like an buffoon.

"check this shit out playboy!" i say as i run after him, pulling a hot dog the long way like a corn on the cob

the only time i log off this website i tried so hard several times nvm i guess i dont know how to Log Off, i'm stuck here Posting and being Extremely Online!!

I love having pointless cyclic conversations with tedious condescending people on the street far away lock yourself in your room eating snacks and playing Crash Bandicoot. those were the good guys"

my new years resolution for 2026 is to start smoking and you'd have to learn how to post vague jokes about them yet

i bet dr frankenstein made sure to get a beautiful new law passed. soon it will be 2012 again. good bye coma dream. it will all be healed

if i die i can do one of those days where everything is pissing me off. i wish it was legal to do bumper cars on the road.

i'm left handed, not sure if you guys minded if i was an idiot with a microphone.

every day my mom texts me good mornkng and every day i hope i don't see myself making anything but 9/11 related posts today.

i always forget that Mara Wilson blocked me on this Website,, like why? was it my Stupid Reply-Guy antics? was it the cartoon raccoon wearing a hat that said "Trump Was Right About Everything" and i didn't even wake up.