scm

Yet another example supporting my theory that all surveys will always demonstrate that 1 in every 3 people is a fucking moron. Plan accordingly.

There’ll still be a hosepipe ban.

‘Elite’. What rich conservative people call poorer people with progressive views who disagree with them.

Remember. USA voted for this. Twice. They can’t be trusted. Regardless of the mid-terms.

The response to Americans telling minorities to ‘go back to their country’ ordinarily should be, “You go back to yours. Germany 1933”, but unfortunately it requires a minor knowledge of a) history and b) “other countries”.

If I’ve learned anything over the last 5 weeks of raising an 8 week old puppy is that whilst I love him dearly - we won’t be doing it again. If I live long enough for another dog - rescue all the way.

Traitors always get rid of the old and people of colour first, right?

Being bang average and keeping your head down seems to be the secret. Inspiring.

“Make sure you give your puppy high and low value treats” He’s a labrador. EVERYTHING is a high value treat.

The Mummy felt more like like an Evil Dead film than the Evil Dead film…

Celebrity Traitors: National treasure or a fucking idiot? I was a. I’m firmly in the b camp now. Silly silly man.

‘They cheated on an industrial scale but they give us money’ isn’t a great position for a PM. Labour. One step forward, two steps back. As ever.

I lived in a very wealthy part of Northern California. My experience of the police there was that they were there to protect and serve the rich. The Cornell case has done nothing to change my mind.

So the US were closely tracking rural diesel thieves in the UK were they? What an absolute fucking clown. 🤡

Gakpo yesterday.

2 weeks into the puppy and firmly in the exhausted ‘why the fuck have we done this?’ phase.

Socialising the pup pre 2nd vaccination is effectively me walking round St Albans looking like Bob fucking Carolgees.

I’m beginning to think our new PM might be just as shit as the last one…

Just found some ‘Twitter before it was evil’ merch at the back of the cupboard. Those were the days, eh? Anyway, cheers.

The current gammon FB argument is that stabbing the RNLI boat is not a crime as no one was in it. So let’s start slashing the tyres on their empty cars. It’s legit, apparently.

Spencers and Windsors?

Kraft saying he’s donating $2m to ‘the region’ is the equivalent of me chucking 2p onto the road to ‘help the homeless’.

Poor old Ed Sheeran, eh? I hear Kid Rock’s available.

Stayed downstairs with a new puppy last night. Breeders gave us a (sealed plastic bag) dog “scented” blanket and essential oils to help it settle. A night of no sleep, a screaming puppy and pissed-off neighbours would have been infinitely preferable to that stench. Un. Believable.

Meet Ted. He’s a good boy. I would say nicer things about him but I had to take him outside 5 times last night. 😩

A two party system always gives you the same two options. Evil or incompetent. Them’s the choices.

Genuine question. The Jehovah’s Witnesses are cold calling on my street today with their kids in tow. How do they get them out of school? Home-schooling?

I’m no expert, but the financial markets always reacting badly if the govt. suggests doing anything for broader societal benefit feels ‘not ideal’.

Labour is still all about painting the funnel whilst the ship is sinking.

SAS managed to lose 2 of our 3 bags between Oslo and London, as they did with around 20 other passengers. Scandinavian efficiency, my arse.

School WhatsApp has started again…

Just a Viking boat sailing past. On home territory. Should be okay. 🤞

Tim Curry too. What an absolute disaster over 2 days.

Fjordlife.

The Goodies reboot looks shit.

Top tip: Next time you want to avoid going to a place where you’re going to look an absolute fucking lemon and are too weak to take questions about it, make up the excuse that there’s a credible risk to your life and scuttle back under your rock.

Lot of people learning what a ‘Pyrrhic victory’ means today.

In Cornwall. The beaches,roads and towns are rammed, yet I can get into a pub / restaurant more easily than I could off-season last year. 🤔

First time peak season in Cornwall. Surrounded by multiple groups of what feels like network ad agency board members holidaying together en masse with a phalanx of sandy haired offspring.

CONCACAF have also rejected the FIFA proposal . I’m guessing it’s the brazenness of the corruption rather than the corruption itself with their history.

Anyone with half a brain knew Reform were corrupt. The question is why are their former media owner supporters happy to confirm it now, having previously pretended it wasn’t happening?

No school WhatsApp / moron in my pocket for 3 days. Bliss.

LI football hot takes now replaced by thoughts on lecterns or the lack of them.

These right-wing man-baby losers. Always thought he was a prick. Now I know he is. Pathetic.

That’s a goal. Joke.

AAAAAAARRRRRGGGGHHHH!!!!

With birth rates falling, surely we need immigrants to come and have kids and pay taxes if we all want state pensions in the future? Poverty in old age to own the libs?