I know there's no logical reason for me to continue to live but I just can't get past my latent will to survive and end it. It's fucking torture. I hate being such a fucking coward.
Had a nice month there where the old depression seemed to go into remission and I felt fairly optimistic. Back to praying for a massive heart attack in my sleep now but it was nice while it lasted
There's an episode of doctor who where an unlikeable dork billionaire who got rich making cars more eco-friendly makes a deal with aliens to destroy Earth in exchange for help founding a small colony of his followers that he can control and man, that seemed far fetched in 2008