Philip Simon Comedian

When you realise one of the best actors is actually pretty lazy when choosing his parts! #ChristianBale #Batman #AmericanPsycho #HollywoodScoop #ActorsLife

Sorry to hear that Patricia Routledge has kicked the bouquet! 😢

We really enjoyed having Shall I Compere Thee In A Funny Way? at the @buxtonfringe.bsky.social - would recommend the show to any @edfringe.bsky.social venue. If you have children, School's Out Comedy Club is fantastic - hope you can bring both shows back to us next year!

Regardless of what you think of the ongoing conflict in the Middle East, this is not a good look for the Edinburgh Fringe, or for the UK. Antisemitism is real, and terrifying. The situation in Gaza is horrific. Both things can be true. Discrimination is not the way to peace, anywhere.

Posters and flyers from some of our @buxtonfringe.bsky.social‬ shows! Leamprov, Samantha Day, @philipscomedy.bsky.social‬ and Black Liver. Have you seen them in the wild, yet?

We're so excited to have last year's @buxtonfringe.bsky.social‬ Children's Event Award winner back! @philipscomedy.bsky.social‬ returns with SCHOOL'S OUT COMEDY CLUB. Excellent end of term fun where kids take the mic and share their best (and worst) jokes 2025.underthefringe.com/shows/school...

Happy Pride Month to all those who celebrate (which let’s face it, should be all of you!) #Pride #PrideMonth #lgbtq #lgbtqiapride❤️💛💚💙💜 #Ally

For some reason whenever I see Donald Trump making this pose, it’s not the power salute he seems to think it is!

🎉Getting in before the networks get clogged up at midnight to wish everyone a Happy New Tax Year! 🎊

Often accused of not doing enough to keep women safe, it’s good to see the police are finally back on brand!

Look how delighted all the kids are to hear School’s Out Comedy Club is coming back to a number of Fringes this year! Want some more info...? Then...WATCH THIS SPACE! 👀

Oh, right! So he’s no problem when the economy transitions! Double standards!

Sorry mum, we’re now under someone else’s wing!

Super excited to start our journey with @podomedy.bsky.social after wandering through the #podcast desert with @philipscomedy.bsky.social for what feels like 40 years!

I wrote a thing about podcasting. www.philipsimon.co.uk/post/the-joy... Have a read...or don't...I can't make you!

I was #TodayYearsOld when I realised ... fuel gauges in cars have an arrow that points to which side of your car you need to fill up your petrol tank! Your turn...

Saturday 8th February @ 8:40pm at the @leicscomedyfest.bsky.social with Jokes on Us at The Real Ale Classroom (Rutland Street) Free entry (PWYW) Either turn up on the night or reserve yourself a free ticket (and protect my sanity by knowing how many people might be coming) from the link in my bio.

When you gig in a cinema and realise the current release of films totally reflects the comedy industry!

New Business Idea: You send me your posts first and I correct the grammar before you post them. No charge, just feel it might help my mental health!

So Donald Trump is the 45th & the 47th President of the USA. Looks like it’ll be pretty easy to crack MAGA’s PIN numbers then!

Always great fans of Dangermouse, the French are delighted to see Le Pen fold! French far-right politician Jean-Marie Le Pen dies at 96 www.bbc.com/news/article...

Time to retire this pun then: People in Canada eat gluten-free bread. Except in the prime minister‘s house where it’s just in true dough! 🪦 #JustinTrudeau

Like many of you I decided to round up 2024 but all I got was 2025! #HappyNewYear

Bill Nye’s full name is William New Year’s Eve.

🎄🎵I don't want a lot for Christmas🎵🎄 There is just one thing I need Just so I can put the presents underneath the Christmas tree I just want all that you owe More than you could ever know Make my wish come true Pay my bloody invoices, yoo hoo! 🎄🎶🎄🎶🎄🎶🎄🎶🎄🎶🎄🎶🎄

Trying to think of acceptable things to call a guru. #shamenname

Great day Friday at @mcmcomiccon.bsky.social Birmingham with the awesome DorksnOrks @miramanga.bsky.social @katemccabe.bsky.social @philipscomedy.bsky.social

My friend just said on Facebook that he's a bugler in the army. I liked his Last Post.

My computer's so woke it's started using non-binary code.

There's a new Disney-themed witness protection scheme called Lie Low and Snitch.

OMG! I just saw a squirrel with man boobs. Though thinking about it, they may have been chestnuts!

After months of desperately trying it looks like Elon Musk is finally going to get his wish of everyone referring to Twitter as the Ex!

Hotels should get over themselves and just let you go down to breakfast in your pyjamas! There, I said it! Don’t @ me!

So, apparently when I introduce acts on stage I channel my inner Village People!

I bloody love my job! Tonight was this gorgeous audience in Spalding, two hours from home. Sunday will be Wanstead about an hour away. But nothing will beat tomorrow, which is about a 10 minute walk from my house!

London-based and want to come and see a last minute preview of my Edinburgh show? Fine! Ok! Stop banging on about it! Jeeez!!! Tuesday 16th July www.ticketsource.co.uk/time2shinecomedy

In lighter news, this local tree has been laying tefillin! #Jewish #JewishLife #Judaism

Look what happens when you let your 7 year old score an innocent game of Super Mario WHOT!