Patrick Bryant

Patrick Bryant

@patrickbryant.bsky.social

Appellate federal public defender. Alexandria, Va. Speaking only for myself; usual disclaimers apply.

1.1K followers130 following1.3K posts

Now I really want the DC Court of Appeals to have to mention in its phone recording not only that it's not the DC Circuit but also that it's not the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders union.

jen ramos-eisen@jenramose.online

NEWS: the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders have unionized and the Cowboys have agreed to recognize the union

This is one of the shittiest things I've ever heard. My god, the callousness towards his own employees.

Bobby Silverman@robertsilverman.bsky.social

no one—really, he's one of one—comes up with strange ploys riddled with paranoia and casual cruelty like Jim Dolan

Every time one of our cats hears a mention of food, especially if it's remotely in proximity to his name, he seems to appear and react like Reg Dunlop hearing that NHL scouts are at the Chiefs game.

Patrick Bryant reposted

Turning to BlueSky to find a home for 9-month-old kitty, "Shoes", Baltimore/DC area. His rescuers would love to keep him but they and their toddler are all violently allergic; not even meds and air purifiers are helping. But they love Shoes and want him to find a good home. Deets: (1/5)

Add “for tax purposes” to a movie: The Killing of a Chinese Bookie for Tax Purposes A Room With a View for Tax Purposes The Cook, the Thief, His Wife & Her Lover for Tax Purposes Cheaper by the Dozen for Tax Purposes Around the World in 80 Days for Tax Purposes Get Carter for Tax Purposes

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🎶Once some stranger climbed ol' Rocky Top, And messed with our coonhound friend. Stranger won't come down from Rocky Top 'Til he spends some time in the pen. Smokey dog, you'll always be... Exhibit 1 to see, In a good ol' jury trial In the courts of Tennessee! 🎶 www.nytimes.com/athletic/768...

nytimes.comNew Jersey teenager arrested after Tennessee’s Smokey statue vandalizedThe Smokey statue outside Neyland Stadium was damaged overnight before Tennessee’s game at Arkansas last Saturday.

When my dad was a high school coach, his team was at a school that gave him the run-around and took forever to let them in the locker room, messing up his routine, etc. His pregame speech: "Boys, we're going to score every point we can tonight." Last play of the game: a hail mary while leading 49-0.

RedditCFB@redditcfb.com

If any college programs are looking for a coach that doesn’t take his foot off the gas, a high school coach in Oregon was just fired for going for an onside kick up 57-0 in the first half. Their opponents quit the game at halftime. 💀

Say what you will about the guy, but he gave us one of the leading decisions on judicial bias and reassignment on remand, United States v. Bakker, 925 F.2d 728 (4th Cir. 1991).

The New York Times@nytimes.com

Jim Bakker, a television evangelist who lost his popular and prosperous ministry in a 1980s sex scandal, died on Monday. He was 86.

Also, Bakker argued that he should have been sentenced under the then-new U.S. Sentencing Guidelines, but the court found that the offenses pre-dated their effective date. However, because he received a pre-guidelines sentence, he was eligible for parole, which got him released early.

I will be perfectly happy to continue using my iPod until it crumbles to pieces in my hands. It will be a dark day when I have to start using my phone to listen to podcasts. When that happens, the first thing I'll buy is an adapter that lets me keep using my corded headphones.

The Atlantic@theatlantic.com

Forget the yearly phone upgrades—Alexandra Tremayne-Pengelly reports on the community of gadget users who refuse to replace their devices, even when that refusal impedes their ability to complete everyday tasks:

Saw a (possibly ai) document on a court website referring to the "Southern District of Virginia" and the "Western District of North Virginia." I understand that judges on both of those courts are accepting clerkship applications, with preference to graduates of East Virginia State School of Law.

This is probably what it was like to face a Second Circuit panel with both Learned and Augustus Hand on it. (I know they were cousins, not brothers, but let me have this one.)

CJ Fogler@cjzero.bsky.social

We've got twin brothers umpiring in Baltimore, first game they have worked together

Crazy airport story time! Too long to post all the details, but in 1994, I had to spend a night in the San Diego airport. They blared intercom announcements all night, surely to deter unhoused people from sleeping there. Worked on me, too! Same night was the only time I've ever dialed 911.

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Only partially related to the 911 call, earlier that night, a cab driver told me, as I got out of the cab, "Uh, I wouldn't walk around in this neighborhood if i were you." Thanks for telling me now, man! See ya!

Squirrels attacking humans in a town called Castle Rock is definitely a Stephen King story.

Kyle Clark@kylec.bsky.social

Squirrels have fired the first shots in their long-planned assault on humanity, with daring assaults that took out power in Castle Rock, CO two days in a row.

Patrick Bryant reposted

I hope there's a sign for folks dropping off people at the airport that says "D.PARTON"

ABC 10News@abc10news.bsky.social

Nashville International Airport is expected to officially become Dolly Parton International Airport following the country legend’s death on Aug. 25. https://www.10news.com/entertainment/nashville-international-airport-to-change-its-name-to-dolly-parton-international-airport 

Wild! Never seen this before

Anna Bower@annabower.bsky.social

Omg. Defense counsel asks for emergency stay so he can seek appeal from the Supreme Judicial Court. Trial judge gives him one hour to get a stay of the declaration of mistrial.

I agree completely, especially since I very much doubt that federal courts would approve CJA payments for the time necessary for court-appointed attorneys to conduct that level of review (same with attorneys' fee awards in civil cases).

Sean Marotta@smmarotta.bsky.social

This concurrence from the D.C. Court of Appeals captures my view well on why I don't think "every attorney who appears on a brief is on the hook for hallucinations" is correct. fingfx.thomsonreuters.com/gfx/legaldoc...

The Marvelous Mrs. Maize-Arm

Rodger Sherman@rodger.bsky.social

Sorry it just occurred to me that there may be people who haven’t seen clip from the Quibi show where Rachel Brosnahan plays a woman dying because of her golden prosthetic arm and I needed to fix that

It's not perfect, but my rule of thumb for guessing at the quality of a bbq joint is that the more human the pig on the sign is acting, the better the food. Highest scores to places where the pig is eating the bbq. Again, not a guarantee, but it tends to follow, in my experience.

The New York Times@nytimes.com

Restaurant signs are ubiquitous across New York City, but who’s behind all the iconic lettering? What makes a good sign? We dove into the world of restaurant signmaking. nyti.ms/3T35Tky

Mostly noting this decision because I liked this line from the dissent: "Perhaps the majority should consider building an ark to alleviate these floodgates concerns, lest this court risk being swept away by the flood of religious discrimination claims to come."

Collating a bunch of copies and, unbidden, the thought crossed my mind that it was nice that I was handling all this stuff without getting a paper cut. Do I even have to say what happened about ten seconds later?

Spotting this was definitely the most Leo-pointing-meme moment I've ever had.

Patrick Bryant@patrickbryant.bsky.social

@davidjroth.bsky.social @celebrityhottub.bsky.social I feel like you guys would want to know that William Petersen wears the same #52 Steelers jersey in both 1985's "To Live and Die and L.A." and 1987's "Amazing Grace and Chuck." You know, if you're looking for your next podcast project.

This news is going to ruin my Google alert for "strip bar"

The Washington Post@washingtonpost.com

The Trump administration’s ongoing feud with the American Bar Association has come to a head, as the Education Department threatens to strip the organization of its power to oversee law school programs across the country.

The best (and worst) thing about defending a cheese theft case is that it would be impossible to resist using that worn-out Scalia line about "hiding elephants in mouseholes."

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Such blatant disrespect of defending ACC Champion Duke

Chris Vannini@chrisvannini.com

Your AP Top 25 1. Ohio St 2. Oregon 3. Georgia 4. Notre Dame 5. Texas 6. Indiana 7. Miami 8. A&M 9. Ole Miss 10. Oklahoma 11. LSU 12. Texas Tech 13. Alabama 14t. BYU 14t. USC 16. Michigan 17. Wash 18. Penn St 19. SMU 20. Tenn 21. Utah 22. Iowa 23. Houston 24. L'ville 25. Mizzou