Old King Clancy

My least favorite thing about playoff baseball is how much they hate starting pitchers. You could have the majors’ shittiest bullpen and a Cy Young award winner and bullpen will be in after 3 1/3.

There’s finance bros getting down to Sussudio here and I’m getting far away so I’m not murdered.

Found footage of Kash Patel: clip.cafe/south-park-b...

This dude in the Schwab commercial is a dead ringer for Ken Paxton.

More pitchers should hit Matt Shaw in the neck.

youtu.be/cNgxyL5zEAk?...

No matter how many guys the Cubs choose over him, and that number has to be in the hundreds by now, Assad just delivers every time he gets a chance. Ultimate underdog.

This game script makes the Cubs blowing it virtually inevitable.

Fuck the Air & Water Show! Fuck the crowds! Fuck their international colors of MAGA! Fuck the pollution! Fuck the traffic! Fuck the military recruitment the hardest! It can drop a bomb on itself.

Is a Polymarket ad soundtracked by “Let’s have a toast for the douchebags” self-aware?

Who needs Skubal when you’ve got Asshat? (We call him that as a term of endearment).

Crab phrasing!

Thielbar is Bullpen Taillon this year.

Light a mup-Muppet on fire, Andrew Wantz. #Cubs

The ideal destination for Taillon has its fences 550 feet from home plate and 3 PCA clones playing outfield.

Same age as me Kerry Wood pitching behind his back is better than Taillon.

Taillon, just throw the ball over the fence.

Fuck ‘em up, Mike II!!

Having finally gotten to see her sing “Anthems” live, allow me to say: Club me with a microphone stand, Emily Haines!!!

Media, please find a synonym to “chilling.” My several-year plea. When everything is “chilling,” nothing is.

He stole that shit from Cinderella.

🎶When I get lonely and I’m sure I’ve had enough/ She sends a cable coming in with a bear/ … WE’VE GOT A THING THAT’S CALLED RADAR BEAR!/ WE’VE GOT A BEAR IN THE SKYYYYY🎶

Taillon should save everyone the time and effort and just throw the ball over the fence.

That was strategic.

Spain youtu.be/wx_ZNn-_klk?...

No I did not sub in for Spain

Is Enzo waving to Trump to let him back in?

Phil Maton is this year’s Hector Neris and Ryan Pressly.

Canada, “Anthems For a Seventeen-Year-Old Girl” was right there. And not just because Trump showed up.

Put Rage Against the Machine out there right fucking now.

Every time I hear “Heat of the Moment”: Opening Riff: “Oh hell yeah!!!” After That: “Oh no. I forgot this song sucks!”

🎶MAYBE I SHOULD CALL ME AN AMBULANCE!!!🎶 (I never get tired of this bit).

I’m not going to go, but their marketing person deserves a raise.

So like you rejecting the results of the NY primaries?

Seriously, @msnownews.bsky.social, putting Trump ads on your network kinda shows your entire hand.

Immediate care playing “12 to 12” is definitely a high-level challenge in trying not to dance whenever it comes on.

Now Kane has time for the Sunday foursome at Mar-a-Lago.

It’s not coming home, but y’all are going home.

I hope England had a smack barm pea wet during their Pausa.

It feels like Pickford has been England’s keeper my entire life. He’s like Highlander. Wait, that’s not England. I’m bad at this.

Why is @maddow.bsky.social Show running ads for Trump Accounts?

I feel bad making a Salem witch trials joke since it was misogynistic genocide, but Salem witches also had to go on Meet the Press.

Meet the Press should kill more people.

Still dislike their music, but hey, Twenty-One Pilots, how did Lindsey Graham die? youtu.be/nky4me4NP70?...

Tell that to Christine Blasey-Ford, you obsequious collaborator.

No one gave the munchkins shit when they sang Ding Dong the Witch Is Dead

Fjuck!!!!