“Existential Dread” is my middle name

More restaurants need to realize that when you order a spinach salad, it’s merely a socially acceptable pretense to have hot bacon dressing.

Wow that Emmys opening sequence was cringey. No better way to show how relevant you are to pop culture than parodying a song that was written in 1975.

That is PHENOMENAL

Aside from being the funkiest thing ever animated, the Sesame Street Number Count did a helluva job convincing an entire generation that pinball was way cooler than it actually was.

I really hope the democrats hammer Tiffany on the fact that he only ever says he wants to make healthcare costs “transparent” and not “affordable.”

I would like to know why my washer and dryer play Schubert’s “Trout” quintet when their cycles complete. It’s such a random choice.

Music festivals do a great job of reminding me that I have neither the stamina nor the arch support I did in my younger days.

Oh cool, my iLok is dying.

At this point the Minions should just drop the pratfall comedy and go full Cosmic Horror. “At The Minions of Madness” “Banana Over Innsmouth” “The Color Out Of Space (Is Yellow)”

“The X-Men have come to Dave’s Hot Chicken” is not a phrase I ever expected to hear in my lifetime, and now that I have, I find it deeply unsettling.

Very little compares to the thrill of seeing a “meeting: cancelled” notification land in my inbox

Hey cool Google AI no longer thinks I’m a Navy SEAL.

Sometimes I’ll be in the studio mixing something and get hit with the realization that I really get to do this, and it’s fun, and I get to do it with my best friends. It’s pretty awesome. (I just finished mixing the new #EyeNewDark record and it’s amazing. Jill is an incredibly gifted songwriter)

Heeeeeeeyy so I did a thing! I chatted with a nice fellow across the pond about music for a while. www.mixcloud.com/ColinSpencer...

I did an interview and talked about a formative artist (whose name I probably mispronounce)

“Fun-size” candybars are such a lie. They’d be way more fun if they were comically large.

I had my headphones on and legit didn’t realize the guy running the leaf blower in the next yard was not part of the song.

One of the most underdiscussed and frankly worrying facts about the current landscape is how all political discourse has been reduced to the word “deal.”

New music! Matt and I do big stupid 90’s dance music, à la Prodigy, Chemical Bros, Fatboy Slim, etc. nerdysanchez.bandcamp.com/album/nerdy-...

Of COURSE all their weird diagnostic errors in my car suddenly disappear right before my service appointment. Of course.

My phone corrected “cat treats” to “cat threats” and I’ve never felt more seen.

During these big storms, weatherman keeps talking about a “hail core” and that just sounds to me like a particularly badass early-00’s metal genre.

All these years later, “Voodoo Ray” is still a banger.

I think I picked the wrong day to season my new wok.

Everyone please welcome CBS News Immigration Analyst Viktor Orban.

Yeah, well, I'm going to go have my own naval blockade! With blackjack and hookers!

I hope this doesn’t mean we’re going to invade Hungary now.

I have no idea why I waited so long before buying a good box grater.

At this point it’s nearly impossible to tell if this level of idiocy is malice or just incompetence.

We got 8-10 inches of snow. Which is probably really 5-7 if you’re on a dating app.