Thom

Overexposed celebrity spokespersons who have worn out their welcome: Kevin Hart Shaq Everyone surnamed Manning That dude with the emu

We get ANOTHER Comey indictment on the same day the House Ds issue a report in which Trump is credibly accused of ANOTHER rape? What ANOTHER incredible coincidence. Almost unpossible.

It is genuinely heartwarming to receive some good news. Here's hoping that Americans also reject authoritarianism.

Did you order your calendar yet?

Everyone knows Trump’s favorite thing above all else is himself. So it should come as no surprise that he’s spending so much time lately talking about asses. Great. Big. Asses.

Frankly, I think he was being magnanimous and non-controversial. Just imagine if instead of Cheesecake Factory, Pres Obama had said Cracker Barrell.

Have never been inside a Cheesecake Factory in my life and I still got the joke.

When I went to bed the curtains on our bedroom slider were open in the middle. I specifically noticed this bc they’re usually opened on one end. I woke at midnight, they were closed in the middle and opened on one end. Wife swears she didn’t do it. Happy Halloween season, everybody. 🎃

Guess nobody told Bela there was to be absolutely no smoking in the lab. #Svengoolie

I had pretty much the same reaction as Lon to that musical interlude. #Svengoolie

It’s really thoughtful of the Wolfman to change from pajamas to street clothes so as to be presentable while committing his latest murder, then back into pjs so as not to confuse the nurse. #Svengoolie

Can’t we just go back to the days when we didn’t focus on race and gender and just gave all the roles to white men?

He is also fun-size. Look at those little legs! He is available through the Belleville Area Humane Society in Illinois. #Zane #fosterdogs #fosterdogmoms

Rest. Ice. Compression. Elevation. Also Tylenol. And football. And popcorn.

I’m cool with needing two cancer surgeries after the race and the down time recovery will require. All I wanted was one final injury-free training cycle before that. Doesn’t seem like a big ask. The universe appears to have other things in mind. Dammit. #running

The only unit of government time shorter than a Zacharia is a Kavanaugh stop, but this is strictly theoretical and not supported by data.

“Hello Mallory? Yes yes I’m going to be late to the potluck AGAIN! No, not like last time when I had to deal with that crazy Hot Wheels loop that suddenly appeared on the freeway and dumped my special tuna casserole all over my lap. This time a bridge on my route totally collapsed for no reason!”

Both directions of I-5 now closed between Vandergrift and Basilone Rd per CHP due to visibility issues from smoke. #HendersonFire

Northbound I-5 is closed again, this time at Vandergrift, as Santa Ana winds are whipping up the #HendersonFire westward. A new fire, #ScalesFire, is causing evacuations at San Onofre campground. Bad day for this. Hot and windy.

“Look on the bright side. At least you’ll never be left to fly on the decoy plane!”

Any truth to the word on the street that Scott Jennings was seen getting blonde hair extensions in a Manhattan salon this morning?

Well, at least she can fall back on lawyerin’ Oh wait…

The head of lettuce remains undefeated.

share.watchduty.org/i/124846?ts=...

Massive fire burning on Camp Pendleton. Went from 10 acres to 500 acres on an hour. Evac orders likely, buildings threatened.

Look, in my drinking days, I couldn’t pass a bar either. But I didn’t lie about it.

How soon before we start marking time in zacharias instead of scaramuccis?

Don’t know if this is age-related but there are so many awful people in the news that I’m finding it increasingly difficult to remember which awful person did what awful thing and when they did it.

Perhaps the most important thing you’ll read on this app today.

Don’t know who needs to hear this, but I would be much more likely to donate to MORE candidates if donating to ONE candidate didn’t result in getting text and email barrages from EVERY candidate asking for money.

Hillary predicted all this. Kamala predicted all this. None of this would be happening if people had listened to them and voted accordingly. Those of us who did don’t have a lot of patience right now for the whining of those who didn’t. Sorry not sorry.

🧵

Got it done!

A huge pulse of Pacific water called a Kelvin wave is moving up the Southern California coast and could raise sea levels by up to a foot. When winter storms and king tides hit, the water starts higher, putting bluffs, our rail line, homes, ports, and bases at risk. Here’s what you need to know.

Someone today needs to hear this: Though it seems everywhere you are surrounded by liars, YOU are not the lie. Trust your own knowing inner voice, though it may seem overwhelmed by the many voices of untruth around you. You are not the lie.

Just one man’s opinion, but as a general rule, if you find yourself chopping down hundreds of otherwise mature and healthy trees for no good reason, you’re absolutely on the wrong side of the issue.

Is this “the best” that was “yet to come”? If not, it’s a sure runner-up.

Having something of a delayed fatigue reaction to the Covid shot I had on Friday. Last year I took flu + Covid shot simultaneously and had the same reaction but next-day, so at least I’ve isolated the source. Still wouldn’t not get it. Fatigue passes; covid can be forever.

I’m a CA voter. In my area, we have TWO sales tax increases on the ballot, a city and a county sales tax. I’m not about to increase sales taxes, that fall hardest on low income people, then NOT vote to increase taxes on a couple hundred billionaires. It’s either yes on all, or no on all.

Couldn’t tell you where I was when I heard that Carter, Reagan, or Bush senior died. But I guarantee every person alive at the time will be able to recollect where they were, down to their exact geographical coordinates, and what they were wearing the day Trump croaks.

TFW you know no one will be in the park but you bc it’s raining g and you don’t mind getting soaked.

I never realized until this watching movie how much Southern California looked like England. #Svengoolie

Even the actual British actors have ‘orrible British accents in this one. #Svengoolie

Watching this in the theater as a kid made me realize why they added laugh tracks to tv shows. It’s often the only way you knew that something was meant to be funny, because the theater was mostly quiet throughout the screening. #Svengoolie

It was 102° F last week, so today at 77° feels like sweater weather.

There’s something quite odd happening in SoCal right now. It’s raining. (yay!)

Covid booster done and dusted. Nurse asked “How do you feel about needles?” To which I replied “Well, I like peanut butter and jelly sandwiches more, but I’m not going to faint when you stick me if that’s what you’re asking.” Get your Covid and flu shots!

The United States is now officially allied with Vladimir Putin and Russia. We will fund Russia’s genocidal war machine in exchange for Putin helping Trump and the Republican Party in the midterms. One of the most shameful and disgusting days in the history of this Republic.