Muppet Quotes

Over on Twitter, we've been celebrating #TheMuppets70 with quotes from the Muppet being highlighted each week. It's Monday, so it's time for #Muppets70Mondays to make its way to BlueSky! (Please bear with us, we've got nearly five months' worth of posts to catch up with.)

"...Paul [Williams] and I decided that not every song can be a snappy two-step number. This was a chance to do a modern-day Disney type of thing, with a waltz, and a snappy two-step number, and music of different styles..." Happy Birthday, Kenneth Ascher!

GHOST 1: I'm going into the moving business. GHOST 2: Really? Locally? GHOST 1: No, ghost to ghost.

UNCLE DEADLY: We're in trouble. VINCENT PRICE: Yes. FOZZIE BEAR: Why's that? UNCLE DEADLY: Because every night at the stroke of midnight, the master turns into a screaming, maniacal, demonic, raging, blood-lusting animal! PRICE: And then I get mean.

GAUZEY THE HATBOX GHOST: Don't you have anything better to do than boo me? STATLER: We're ghosts. WALDORF: Yeah, booing comes with the territory!

SCOOTER: Alice Cooper? Fifteen seconds to curtain, Mr. Cooper. ALICE COOPER: Ready whenever you say, Scooter. SCOOTER: Uh, sir, I think there's something you should know. COOPER: Yes? SCOOTER: These monsters aren't ours. COOPER: I know. They're mine.

KERMIT: Uh-oh, it must be time for the ghost story. Is anybody else around? Uh, Bean, is that you? I hate this part.

DOMINIC BADGUY: I'm glad to say the Spanish reviewers disagree with you as well, Walter. They loved us. Five out of five jamon serranos. WALTER: Whoa, those reviews really came out fast. PEPE: And "Citizen Kane" only got four jamon serranos.

BILLY JO DUMPSTER: But very soon the world will be ours, fellow baggies! The garb age! Our lives are no longer a waste of time, 'cause this is the time of waste! DIGIT: Kermit, the garbage is revolting. BEAN BUNNY: Don't go for the cheap ones, Kermit.

FOZZIE BEAR: "How soon can you get film developed around here," he said. And I say to him "Someday, your prints will come." Get it? Prints? Film? That's what we call a Disney joke. STATLER: No, that's what we call a dismal joke!

TAMINELLA GRINDERFALL: Sweetums, you old bunnykins. Do you like the froggy? SWEETUMS: Oh yes! Yes! Bunnykins like frog. TAMINELLA GRINDERFALL: Why don't you keep him? He could be your pet. Your friend. Your-- SWEETUMS: Breakfast!

BOY: No matter what you saw on TV, with all those "ughs" and "me want-ums," I'm telling you Indians don't talk like that. CHILDREN: Oh yeah? Well, how do you know? BOY: I'm an Indian. Happy Indigenous Peoples' Day, Muppet fans!

"Big Bird could be a dinosaur if all dinosaurs were six years old and yellow." Happy Birthday, Artie Esposito!

CLIFFORD: Here's something for all you eggheads in the audience. EGGMAN #1: Egg-cellent! EGGMAN #2: Oh, there you go with the same old yolks! EGGMAN #1: Well, you told me to come out of my shell.

FOZZIE BEAR: Hey, look, guys, I paid a lot of money for this new act and I want to see if it's good, okay? STATLER: Could it possibly be good? WALDORF: Could it possibly be worse?

"Caroll [Spinney] held a workshop/audition with a few of the Sesame Street puppeteers... He shook my hand and said, 'You know, your last name means ‘bird’ in German, this might be the job for you.'" Happy Birthday, Matt Vogel!

KERMIT: Oh, hi there, Bobo. Listen, is Cindy Crawford here yet? BOBO: Pretty. KERMIT: I'll take that as a yes.

"I think TV is like fire. It's good when it keeps you warm and bad if it burns your house down." Happy Birthday, Loretta Long!

KERMIT: Incidentally, I've been looking at this number you're gonna do, and I don't remember ever hearing it before. CONNIE STEVENS: Yeah, well, when I get done with it, you may never hear it again.

POPS: Well, looks like steering wheel soufflé for dinner. JANICE: Again?

"Puppetry is like trying to make my hand do what I would do with my own body. It’s still acting and an art form. The better an actor you are, the better a puppeteer you are." Happy Birthday, Fran Brill!

GONZO: Kermit, it's disaster time. You're gonna have to cancel my wrestling match with Quongo, the wild mountain gorilla. KERMIT: But why? GONZO: He just called from his limo. It's stuck in traffic. Sorry!

SCOOTER: Somebody outside was trying to break the combination lock on your bicycle! But I stopped 'em. KERMIT: Oh, good. What did you do? SCOOTER: I told them the combination.

WOMAN: I hear you come from a broken home. ANIMAL: Yeah. I broke it myself. Two, three, dip.

"People who grew up with troubled childhoods and they latched onto the Muppets as a way to get through a lot of this stuff. It’s a responsibility I never knew we had." Happy Birthday, Steve Whitmire!

"When I was young, my ambition was to be one of the people who made a difference in this world. My hope is to leave the world a little better for having been there." #HappyBirthdayJim

"When I was young, my ambition was to be one of the people who made a difference in this world. My hope is to leave the world a little better for having been there." #HappyBirthdayJim

"Please watch out for each other and love and forgive everybody. It's a good life, enjoy it." #HappyBirthdayJim

"The attitude you have as a parent is what your kids will learn from more than what you tell them. They don't remember what you try to teach them. They remember what you are." #HappyBirthdayJim

"Follow your enthusiasm. It's something I've always believed in. Find those parts of your life you enjoy the most. Do what you enjoy doing." #HappyBirthdayJim

"Certainly I’ve lived my whole life through my imagination. But the world of imagination is there for all of us – a sense of play, of pretending, of wonder. It’s there with us as we live." #HappyBirthdayJim

"The most sophisticated people I know - inside they are all children." #HappyBirthdayJim

“I believe that we form our own lives, that we create our own reality, and that everything works out for the best.” #HappyBirthdayJim

"Life is meant to be fun, and joyous, and fulfilling." #HappyBirthdayJim

STATLER: Speaking of lunch, I wonder what the Swedish Chef has up his sleeve. WALDORF: A summons from the board of health, I wager.

FOZZIE BEAR: My cousin's so dumb, he spent two weeks in London trying to find the European Common Market.

KERMIT: Thank you, thank you, thank you. And welcome to The Muppet Show. And what a show we got. We have music, comedy, 225 dancing elephants — who, unfortunately, left their costumes at home because they forgot to pack their trunks.

"I think the subliminal message of ["The Magic Store"] is that you’re special and you can do all the things that we’ve done. I think that was Jim’s message. I think Jim’s message was not that I’m special, but that you’re special." Happy Birthday, Paul Williams!

"I was a Muppet fan before I worked for the company. I was ten when The Muppet Show first came on the air, so I remember watching it every week, and I grew up with Sesame Street... so I look at things through the eyes of a fan..." Happy Birthday, Craig Shemin!

GONZO: I'm a bird. Yeah, I'm a... I'm a turkey. GUARD: You're not a real turkey. GONZO: Are you kidding? Have you seen my act? GUARD: Hey, Lee, I got this real turkey to see you.

GONZO: Excuse me, Miss Piggy. May I come in? MISS PIGGY: Ehh, only if you're green and have flippers.

STATLER: Well, I really liked this show tonight. WALDORF: At these prices, who's gonna complain?

"Instead of going for my final year of college, I started on Sesame Street, which was an education in itself.... And at that time, this was pretty much like the puppet show on television, especially here in New York. So that was quite an education." Happy Birthday, Noel MacNeal!

THE SWEDISH CHEF: Whåt de hëy?

ELMO: How was your New Year celebration? MOISHE OOFNIK: Ah, terrible. Too much happiness and sweetness. Just telling you about it makes me sick. Happy Rosh Hashanah, Muppet fans!

KERMIT: You hear me, New York? We're gonna be on Broadway! Because... Because I'm not givin' up! I'm still here and I'm stayin'! You hear that, New York? I'm stayin' here! The frog is stayin'! We love New York, today and every day.

(On performing Big Bird in The Muppet Movie finale) "At the wrap party, the shop foreman asked me if I was aware of the politics... He told me Kermit Love had threatened not to send “The Bird” for the finale unless I performed him. I had no idea." Happy Birthday, Michael Earl!

FOZZIE BEAR: I'm Fozzie Bear, and it's my job to warm up the audience with jokes. Ahh! STATLER: Oh god, we're gonna die of hypothermia. WALDORF: I hope it comes quick.

PEPE: So what do you wanna talk about? RIZZO: Well, I dunno. What do you wanna talk about? PEPE: Ummm... let's talk about how handsome I am, okay? RIZZO: Nah, I don't wanna talk about that.

WEMBLEY: ♫ The work I think I'll work at Or else I think I won't Is sort of... something that you do Unless you maybe don't ♫ Whatever your work is, Happy Labor Day, Muppet fans!

KERMIT: Welcome! And what a show we have for you tonight. Fifty years ago today, "The Muppet Show" premiered in the United Kingdom!