MonkeyMan

Liz Truss has another book out, so if anyone out there has a wobbly table, you might find it helpful

WTF is going on with UK media. The government have talked about having a mature discussion about our relationship with the EU, the media are talking about a referendum. Using the same principle if I was to announce I had a new girlfriend the media would be asking about my forthcoming wedding.

Does this happen in anyone else's household? My wife and I will be watching a comedy programme on TV and just as a joke has been set up and my wife (who I love), will deliver her own unfunny punchline so loudly that I can't hear the actual punchline from the programme? It's a niche problem granted

Another song from the erection section #totp

Do the one about losing your cherry to an older woman #totp

This isn't Flick Colby's best choreography, and that is a very low bar #totp

You Are My Love is a sloppy load of crap but I absolutely adore it #totp

I had hair like that in the 80s #totp

Conclusive proof Robin Gibb invented Meta Glasses #totp

#totp

The Circus is another banger #totp

Kiss were great live apparently- what happened here? #totp

Rent is an underrated banger #totp

Los Lobos a channeling chubby Chris Rea look #totp

Was Not Was quality #totp

Do You Really Wanna Hurt Me George you've no idea how much I want to hurt you, and not in a handcuff you to a radiator kind of way #totp

Shakin Stevens giving pissed up perv uncle at a wedding vibes #totp

Sharon Redd won a celebrity version of Bargain Hunt defeating Barry Blue #totp

Tony Hadley straight out of Burton's window #totp

I like Bauhaus but I'm not a fan of this cover. Just a carbon copy of the original and you're not going to beat Bowie #totp

Kool & His Gang lost out on a turf war with the UB40 massive #totp

And if you entered tonight's #totp Toyah competition, the correct answer was B, Whizz

Tonight Matthew Toyah will be a busted kaleidoscope #totp

Fucking Hell that guy nearly poked me in the eye through the screen #totp

Why on this Kids from Fame song did they give lines to the kids who were tone deaf #totp

Fabulously Wealthy Tarts on backing vox for Zambezi #totp

Barry White was alive when this was released but he was still turning in his grave #totp

Not sure if it's Macy Gray of if Lenny Kravitz is going through gender reassignment #totp

Oh look another video of Richard Ashcroft walking down a street #totp

Idlewild guitarist trying to mosh and headbang simultaneously could go really badly Here's hoping #totp

WTF is this #totp

You never see Moby and Lee Hurst in the same room do you #totp

It's time for a #totp zumba Feel the burn

I'm in a competition where I win 2 weeks in Barbados if I can say what time Cbeebies starts. If only there was a way of finding out #totp

I've just created an account on Twitch to stream my music and I feel old just looking at it

Getting my shit together for tonight's #totp

The looney left wing government suggesting people have 3 days of supplies in reserve in case of power cuts or cyber attacks. What a bunch of bastards not wanting us to starve or dehydrate

20 minutes in and I'm currently holding in a fart that I know could evacuate the room. I might just let it out to break the monotony of it all.

I'm at a corporate networking event for my day job. I fucking hate corporate networking events

Got an unexpected afternoon of, should I do work admin or record some new material? I think we know what the answer is.

Old man rant incoming **SPOILER ALERT** MonkeyMan isn't my real name. As such in my day job I used to use #LinkedIn to make professional connections, however, recently it seems to have gone like Facebook and all the other chappy platforms. Is it just me or are others finding the same?

Fair play to the vocalist singing Aretha #strictly

I knew it would happen eventually #strictly

Donna Summer, come love, I've got this banger of a tune for you to record. The lyrics took me ages to come up with #nottotp #disco

Guys guys, I've accidentally over ordered sunflower fancy dress costumes, Heatwave will find a yse for them #nottotp #disco

The very best use of Rock The Boat was on Derry Girls #totp #nottotp #disco

LaBellle NASAs first attempt to send an all female crew to space #totp #nottotp #disco

Despite splitting up Black Box some how are indestructible and their recordings remain intact #totp

Jesus no #totp

Just going to look up Milli Vanilli on Wikipedia Oh fuck no!!!!! #totp