Monkey Bullets

Relevant again, probably. monkeybullets.substack.com/p/money-baby

Check out the latest chapter in Monkey Bullets’ Elon Musk biography. open.substack.com/pub/monkeybu...

Seeing a lot of "if the liberals are mad we must be doing something right" shit lately, and I can't stress enough how fucking stupid it is. monkeybullets.substack.com/p/why-are-th...

In today’s Flash Fiction the News, a dad measures his son’s erections and convinces himself he’ll never die open.substack.com/pub/monkeybu...

Seems like a good day to talk about how much money it would take to literally crush your skull, for some reason. open.substack.com/pub/monkeybu...

On today's Flash Fiction the News, people buy nuclear bunkers even though experts say they're useless. monkeybullets.substack.com/p/flash-fict...

On today’s Flash Fiction the News, we get an inside view of what it’s like to be the world’s saddest tweeter. open.substack.com/pub/monkeybu...

She only remembered that she was important. open.substack.com/pub/monkeybu...

What is the ROI on joy again? monkeybullets.substack.com/p/santas-wor...

"Let’s be real, who among us hasn’t been right on edge of tipsy and decided “fuck it, if I just roll down the windows and blast some Judas Priest, stick to the back roads, and only oversee a few covert amphibious operations, I’ll be just fine.”" open.substack.com/pub/monkeybu...

I think it's actually okay to be in charge of the military drunk as long as you roll down all the windows and blast some Judas Priest.

" Who felt the weight of his strength? What sounds of suffering did he call “noise?” Who received and did not receive his love? Stop asking questions. Lester is your totem. He is your myth to make real. You are him and he is you." monkeybullets.substack.com/p/the-battle...

Today's Loser: OpenAI medium.com/american-los...

Isn't the con just so fucking obvious? 1.) Republicans run up the debt $8.4 tril (tax cuts for billionaires, baby) 2.) Let (yes, LET) democrats take over so it seems like they own the debt. 3.) Get back into power. 4.) Clutch pearls, fan face. 5.) Cut our most vital social programs.

“Whatchu think?” He broke the long silence. “I think we create chaos just so we can find the meaning in it.” open.substack.com/pub/monkeybu...