mistablank.bsky.social

#TotallyRealSBFacts 2026 is in the books!Thank you as always to my cowritters @blanksy42.bsky.social and @rachelblank.bsky.social for making me sound funnier than I am! I'm going to DW!!!

#TotallyRealSBFacts

Totally Real Fact #12: Superbowl LX is broadcast an hour away from the set of The Room, where football throw was first invented. #TotallyRealSBFacts #Superbowl #Football

Don't wanna be an American idiot? Don't want these plays under review-ia And can you hear the sound of hysteria? The pigski-minal mindfuck America Welcome to a new year of #TotallyRealSBFacts All across the NFL nation Where everything is factual! #Superbowl #Football

Totally Real Fact #1: You could play Super Bowl LX. But for $5000 more, you could get Super Bowl LXS with heated seats and a luxurious leather interior. #totallyrealsbfacts #Superbowl #Football

Totally Real Fact #2: After what happened last year, Maye is trying not to be the second Drake murdered at the Superbowl. #TotallyRealSBFacts #Superbowl #Football

Totally Real SB Fact #3: Every time a Patriot throws an interception, an Seahawk gets its wings. #totallyrealsbfacts #Superbowl #Football

Totally Real Fact #4: If you need to know how many funny facts there will be this year to hit on your 11 leg parley, there will only be 4. And this is not one of them. #totallyrealsbfacts #Superbowl #Football

If no one wants to score a touchdown, it looks like I #TotallyRealSBFacts will have to! #Superbowl #Football

Totally Real Fact #5: To increase the efficiency of your sports enjoyment, NBC will only be broadcasting an AI Overview of tonight’s game! #totallyrealsbfacts #Superbowl #Football

Mike Vrabel on his way to asking his teenage kid if Britney is coming to the pool party today

Totally Real Fact #5: Last year Tom Brady received a lot of criticism for cloning his dog. But if Drake Maye is able to pull this win off, he will make his pet parent so happy. #TotallyRealSBFacts #Superbowl #Football

Totally Real Fact #6: Protest halftime shows are taking place in an effort to clout-chase off of the Super Bowl. We here at #TotallyRealSBFacts find this behavior pathetic and silly. And if you agree, please like, comment, and subscribe to #TotallyRealSBFacts! #Superbowl #Football

Totally Real Fact #7: Whoever at the Superbowl wrote on the Jumbotron "THE ONLY THING STRONGER THAN HATE IS LOVE" has clearly never talked to this guy #TotallyRealSBFacts #Superbowl #Football #Kendrick

Totally Real Fact #8: █████████████████ football ██████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████ tight end ███████#TotallyRealSBFacts #Superbowl #Football

#TotallyRealSBFacts is brought to you this year by Big-Corporation who wants to remind you to PRETTY PRETTY PLEASE USE OUR AI FEATURES SO WE CAN LAY OFF OUR WORKFORCE 🥺🥺🥺 #ToallyRealADVertisement

Totally Real Fact #9: Patriots players were sent into a full blown panic attack when they learned they were playing against a starting quarterback #TotallyRealSBFacts #Superbowl #Football

Totally Real Fact #10: This Heated Rivalry is not nearly as hot as I thought it would be #TotallyRealSBFacts #Superbowl #Football

Totally Real Fact #11: Seattle uniforms have never been the same since the NFL cracked down on their penchant for flannel shirts and torn jeans #TotallyRealSBFacts #Superbowl #Football

Totally Real Fact #11: It looks like this game is all but over. Oh wait! They are playing Mr. Brightside! JOSH ALLEN HAS TAKEN THE FIELD AND HE HAS A STEEL CHAIR! HE’S KNOCKED OUT BOTH TEAMS AND HE’S MAKING OFF WITH THE SUPER BOWL BELT! #TotallyRealSBFacts

I swear Airbnb is single handedly propping up the bunk bed market. Nothing says a cozy getaway like stuffing 6 people into a single bedroom.

Trump pardoned more drag queens than Joe Biden

I feel like #Balatro has done untold damage to the productivity of YouTubers that I enjoy watching.

@rickyftw.bsky.social I'M FINALLY FREE

That's a wrap for #TotallyRealSBFacts 2025! Thank you as always to my cowritters @blanksy42.bsky.social and @rachelblank.bsky.social for making me sound funnier than I am! I'm going to DW!!!

Totally Real Fact #11: The refs have decided to remove 21 points from the Eagles because Patrick Mahomes had his fingers crossed behind his back when he threw those interceptions. #totallyrealsbfacts #SuperBowl

#TotallyRealSBFacts is brought to you this year by Big-Corporation who wants to remind you that we support the rights of black people (now that it's trendy), but we are also ending any diversity programs. Please buy our products. #ToallyRealADVertisement #SuperBowl

Totally Real Fact #10: The fact that the Pro Bowl exists implies that the Super Bowl is played by amateurs. #totallyrealsbfacts #SuperBowl

Totally Real Fact #9: Once these players realize that there’s a part of your foot called the ball, they are going to feel so silly #TotallyRealSBFacts #SuperBowl

We here at Totally Real SB Facts do not encourage sports betting; we only lay money down predicting which washed up celebrity will be shilling for DraftKings this year.

Why don't pictures like this ever trend?!?

Totally Real Fact #8: Eagles head coach Nick Sirianni is a fellow upstate New Yorker, and knows exactly what the Bills Mafia will do to him if he does not deliver retribution tonight #TotallyRealSBFacts #AwfulNiceKneecapsYouGotThere #SuperBowl

Totally Real Fact #7: Patrick Mahomes is spending his halftime trying to figure out if it is worse to be shut out in the Super Bowl or be called a pedophile on national television. #TotallyRealSBFacts #SuperBowl

Me liking and reposting @totallyrealsbfacts.bsky.social posts

Totally Real Totally Real SB Fact Fact #1: Like every year, fans of Totally Real SB Facts will receive one free fact for every touchdown the Bills score. So pay up! #TotallyRealSBFacts

Totally Real Fact #6: It may seem like a bad idea for the Chiefs to keep giving the ball back to The Eagles but they are hoping that they can tire out Jalen Hurts by scoring so much. #TotallyRealSBFacts #SuperBowl

Totally Real Fact #5: As an incentive not to blow it, the losing team will be personally purchased by Elon Musk, and all players have to attend his birthday party #TotallyRealSBFacts #SuperBowl

Totally Real Fact #4: Should Patrick Mahones fail to secure victory tonight, all knowledge of “Jake From Statefarm” will be wiped from our collective consciousness #TotallyRealSBFacts #SuperBowl

I really thought I would be seeing more grippers considering the name of this sport #FalseAdvertising #TotallyRealSBFacts #SuperBowl

Totally Real Fact #3: Buffalo Bills fan use their saltiness from the playoff results to salt the ice on their roads #TotallyRealSBFacts #SuperBowl

Totally Real Fact #2: If you don’t like the calls being made during this game, be sure to check out your team’s GoFundMe page to crowdsource a bribe for tonight’s referees #TotallyRealSBFacts #SuperBowl

Totally Real Fact #1: The Game Master has determined that all of the Chiefs plays will be rolled with advantage. #TotallyRealSBFacts #SuperBowl

AMERICA IS PUMPED FOR TONIGHT!!!

I logged into my niche sports Twitter account after deleting the app. I only followed the mascot Gritty but this is what my "For you page" looked like. @bestofdyingtwit.bsky.social

Two plane crashes in a week and I have to fly tomorrow. If I didn't make it, you know who to blame 🍊

Two new followers means two new pictures of my dog

All I want for Christmas is @weratedogs.com 2024

Jet is getting ready for his first Christmas

Look at this perfect little gentleman

Look at this fucking goober