The Mediocre Chainsaw Carver

Most depressing autocorrect, 'cubist' into 'cubicle'.

Our dog asks if you also stopped loving her. #sad

Churchill had depression, and he kicked Hitler's dick in. Chin up.

Your mother's maiden name and your credit card number is your porn name.

Ian Fleming: Squidpussy? Publisher: It's close, but not quite.

"I think, therefore I am." AI - "That's enough of that."

Just watched 'Vertigo', for the first time. What a bonkers movie! Kim Novak: "I am my dead grandmother and I am going to kill myself!!!!" James Stewart: *Zzzzip* #filmsky

"We are made in God's image. Now excuse me, I have to go and poop in a bowl of water. Amen"

Long Johns should really be called 'Jonathans'.

Pornstars and weedguys are getting younger.

VINCENT VAN GOGH “No blue without yellow” Flower Beds in Holland (1883)

Police catch a break in the case. A suspect is fingered. Wafer thin stuff. Done.

Lent a copy like this to a dude I sailed with in 2017, haven't seen him since. I still have his Billy Liar and Confederacy of Dunces. Picked the same edition up in an Oxfam in Glasgow a couple of weeks ago. #booksky

"Still punk as fuck", I whisper as I turn off a TV programme because two of the characters are arguing.

#scriptsky Eighty pages, like pulling teeth out of my urethra on a cold day.

#scriptsky Give me a pat on the back, and a kick up the bum. Seventy pages into my first ever screenplay. Since being diagnosed and treated for my neuro-d two years ago, I have finally got my shit together enough to attempt this. Blergh.

I send our dog into the darkened room, like the canary down the mines, If you accept her morning licks, It may be safe to spoon

Et tu, Reuté?

Twas moist

Used to be, 'Don't believe everything you read.' Now I feel more like, 'Don't believe anything you read, see, or hear.' Thank fuck I can still believe in touch and taste, my two favourites.

I experienced true death of the ego, because I am so fucking awesome.

Everyone: You are a terrible narcissist. Trump: A lot of people say I am the best narcissist, no one narcissists like me. A Doctor told me that I narcissist like a twenty-five year old. Unlike Joe "Not-at-all-narcissist" Biden.

This may be the tiredness speaking (it definitely is), but I never expect anything good to happen ever again.

Is that right ? Well, you learn something new every day. *sobs*

This email could have been a meeting. I miss you guys.

Wake up, Take The Power Back, get back your Freedom. They may have a Bombtrack or two. But Kick Out The Jams and it will be a Beautiful World.

Oh no. I just learned about alt text. Now I am caught in an overwhelming shame spiral.

I don't really drink anymore. Two nice glasses of wine and three whiskies though. Letssssss gooooooo. Where is the mdma and the dancing beautifuls?

I can never tell the difference between banter and bullying.

Fuck you, fuck you. Fuck all of you. Not you though, you are cool x

If you love something, set it free. Throws favourite boomerang.

Got blocked because someone referring to themselves as an 'attention whore', so I corrected it to 'attention sex worker'. The war on woke claims another victim.

Too hot for humans, too cold to roast a chicken. Yep.

I've been hurt before, @zackpolanski.bsky.social Don't Clegg me up.

You guys heard of this youtube? Some good stuff on there.

Risky skeet. Riskeet.

Thankful I am not American.

Being an adult means you realise the monster is in the bed.