Max™

Ok fine I admit it, I'm the one taking bites out of nerf footballs

Do you think Trump is all gung ho about coal because he heard it involves 'miners' and didn't know how it was spelled?

Drop an album that was important to you when you were nineteen.

Bibimbap? How about baby got ba- *instantly killed by sniper*

It's weird it took this long for the people pushing something useless that nobody but rich people like (ai) and try to cram it full of the only other thing as useless and disliked by everyone except rich people (ads) but hey maybe it will work this time, right?

Drop an alien that's not from Star Wars or Star Trek.

Oh! Danny boy! The pipes! The pipes are crawling!

“If all the names in the Epstein files are released then our entire system will collapse.” Works for me.

Rep. Delia Ramirez to DHS officials: "I have as much respect for you as I do for the last white men who put on masks to terrorize communities of color. I have no respect for the inheritors of the Klanhood and the slave patrol. Those activities were criminal and so are yours."

Isaac Chotiner on Hot Ones.

Hey, he isn't just a racist, he's also a child rapist!

Just so folks know: someone noticed you can change a bunch of uploaded files from .PDF to .mp4 or whatnot and there is a lot of stuff, some is pretty banal, but some of it is very much not what you want to bump into without warning so be careful of anything #Epstein video related you see today.

I don't think he should be allowed around kids, even if middle school is a little old for him.

I just got to the Cambridge Analytica name drop, @cstross.bsky.social and whew doggy that was a kicker.

I'm glad you're ok pretty boy but I wish you would let us kidnap you and bring your cold ass inside!

Everyone on the Internet loves the @musicologyduck.bsky.social which is a duck that teaches people about musicology! Update: we regret to inform you the musicology duck has been kidnapped on a bus.

#WinterStorm2026 is a beast.

Hopescrolling

Oh please let it have happened

Gangsta youtu.be/COBpRXm_CUQ

My democratic rep told me ICE keeps hurting his constituents so I asked how many constituents he has and he said he just goes to actblue and asks for more donations to do nothing so I said it sounds like he’s just feeding his constituents to murderers and then my phone lit up asking for a donation

Dreamed there was a space capsule in trouble and they reached out to Joey Tribbiani, as in Matt LeBlanc reprising his role for this purpose to help them figure out what to do and I was like 'is there not a dog they could hold the phone for and pretend it was talking instead?'

lots of people have very measured, reasonable takes today but I'm here to say fuck Scott Adams and I hope his soul wanders the earth for eternity and never experiences a moment of rest 👍

During the years Sascha Riley was trafficked within the Trump/Epstein ring, he was forced to perform sexual acts ...

Peanut Butter seems confused by the leaves disappearing this morning, sorry Pretty Boy but isn't like you were ever camouflaged that well to begin with.

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How in the hell does someone install a solitaire game LAUNCHER accidentally? I'm sitting there with mother in laws phone tracking down EVERYTHING that could be popping up ads and randomly notice the solitaire launcher running, so I kill it and switch back to her oneui home, poof! #SamsungS25FE

Anyone playing #FinalFantasyXIV should be warned that a lalafell astrologer has been scamming people and hopping servers. That's right, there's a small medium at large.

Dreamed I'm watching a rogue Gantz agent and partner in crime after taking out a rogue hunter and being cocky, partner in crime is like "we'll be fine as long as they don't send... him." Then around the corner they hear "like, bad news fellas, they sent me." Then Shaggy walks around the corner.

twilight princess and portal are very similar games in that u r solving platformer puzzles while a girl is mean to you

watch deep space 9. it’s one of the best television shows ever created. you don’t need to see any other trek series to understand it. it’s beautifully and ruggedly honest about fascism.

Pixel 6a +3 = Pixel 9a! Wish it was purple instead of black but no more "your battery might kill you" warnings and a 120hz screen are great. Also the camera does macro like a mofo?

Meestah President, they will not give-ah you the Peace Prize, so today. I give-ah you... The Pizza Prize! Its-ah great big gold pizza for you to eat! Yes, Meestah President. You have to eat the gold pizza right now, in front of thees beeg beeg crowd. Do it. Eat it. You have no choice.

Hey, remember no matter what what is going on: you are charismatic megafauna!

I want to make a movie where Santa has claws and he uses his claws to claw things and santa's claws allow him to save the world with his santa claws, I would call this movie "crab santa"