norman emailer

People are still out here with the little plastic cup measure sitting next to the cooktop brim-full of starchy pasta water, ready to slop everywhere. Bro. Snap out of it. Let me introduce you to a "ladle"

Banter outcome

Yeah, I nailed it all in one take. The 85th take

Old school death metal 1987-1991

Fatima Payman has been left waiting by Anthony Albanese for TWENTY THREE MONTHS for additional staff requested partly in light of the extremely high number of threats she continues to face during her time as an Independent senator. Other independent Senators have been approved.

This sultana is being held against its will

It is not sufficient that parents are awake: parents must be Bothered

Pulling a giant lever from "socialism is impossible" to "socialism is inevitable" while looking back at the audience like a contestant in the price is right

Lula winning is great for the planet, great for Brazil, and great for people who aren't revanchist assholes everywhere in the world, but let's not forget that it's also going to make some of the worst people on Earth extremely sad and mad. We should enjoy that, as a little treat.

Someone light a candle for my guy Ben Carroll whomst is going through some heavy shit right now. If enough people do this we can call it Carrolls by candlelight

They've lost their edge

4 yo loves to say "SBS on banan'"

Craig Scroggie

Is the moral compass what you consult when you're looking for an Afghan wedding to bomb

Another one here where the British press just smashed fuck out of a member of the public’s life for no good reason, just because they wanted to and nobody will stop them doing at. And they’re still going, even now.

Kids' toys are insane now, my son's got I'm going to say 30 toy monster trucks, one of them is a couple of foot tall and remote control. The entire house is filled with wonder and excitement. I think when I was his age I would've counted myself lucky to have a small rock or piece of house brick

You can get brilliant roast potatoes -- fluffy insides, crisp, glassy outsides -- without par boiling them first

I really think the world we live in would be immediately and profoundly improved if journalists were held to account for the consequences of what they do

How would you be if you went on a junket, posed in mudwrestling kompromat and proved your loyalty throughout the genocide and they still infested your device with cuckware

feel alone and worthless and sick with self-revulsion, but ironically and 100% for laughs

Always seems crazy to me that a lot of men in public life are in such a hurry to equate a lot of genuinely egregious and dangerous things with someone saying "poo poo bum bum" in their mentions

Obviously nobody's safety should be placed in danger in the workplace and threatening or assaulting politicians and their staff is bad but just going on vibes I feel like you're statistically about six thousand times more likely to be threatened or physically assaulted at work if you're a postie

Craig Scroggie

Nothing is more terrifying to me than the idea that there might be 40 little scroggies running around out there. A plague of Scroggie clones each eating seven meals a day, tearing their way through suburban subways. Someone trap these little freaks in a shipping container

Craig Scroggin

There is no way AI could come up with a name like Craig Scroggie. Its algorithms have no sense for the deeply sardonic poetry of fate