Marcus

I'm posting things that fall between “mildly cursed wisdom” and “accidentally profound nonsense.” Often up late. Frequently bemused. Occasionally useful. Follow for: ✨ #weirdthoughts 🔥 #spicytakes 🧠 #brainworms 💬 #actuallyfunny Just so you know.

Not a job I'd want.. #Canada #Ontario

snasty.substack.com/p/the-bile-f... Two weeks into three months in Canada and I have not been annoyed once. For a column powered entirely by grievance, this is a crisis. The worst thing to happen so far was a bag of flour. New piece, possibly the last for a while: #HamOnt #Canada

#HamOnt has oddity

#HamOnt has colour.

You really can’t make this shit up.

Massive crowd outside Palantir’s HQ. Throw this evil corporation out of our public services.

Good grief she's foul. #bbcqt

snasty.substack.com/p/last-man-i...

🧵 As front-page headlines go, this has to be one of the most misleading I've seen in a long time It's an out-and-out lie But notice the trick they use to get away with it...👀 *They're* not lying - they're just quoting someone else who is👍🏻 In this case, the leader of the opposition🙄 1/33

Shame really, I was rather enjoying the respite from his gibberish.

A man on the telly called the young snowflakes and I caught myself nodding. Then I remembered renting a seven-bedroom house on housing benefit for the parties, and running airport security with no CV. Even my hard was softer than their soft. New piece: snasty.substack.com/p/i-nearly-a...

my brilliant colleague @robertshrimsley.bsky.social on the threat from Elon Musk’s X platform www.ft.com/content/f270...

I said "groovy" to a barista this week. He looked at me the way a dog looks at a card trick. Turns out the word is 1930s jazz, shares a root with "grave", and was killed by soft-drink adverts. New essay: A Word With a Grave In It. snasty.substack.com/p/a-word-wit...

Three hundred balaclavas shut Dover. Reform's answer to a woman hit with a walking stick was "Oh boo hoo". Berlin's cabarets thought mockery would see the brownshirts off. Cable Street knew better. Mock them. Then turn up. snasty.substack.com/p/thanks-you...

Good news: he lost.

Nadine Doris couldn't organise a piss up in a brewery. ... or is that commission, like her I struggle to understand the difference. #C4News #Reform #Bent

I know Pol Pot's real name. Twenty years, no reason, one bonus point. Now Meta sells glasses that whisper answers into your ear, and the next time I know anything at the pub quiz, everyone will stare at my frames. snasty.substack.com/p/the-man-wh...

Forty years of shouting chefs. Floyd with a wine glass, Ramsay with the veins, Jamie on a scooter. Billions of pounds of telly. And the nation's dish is still a warm tube of pastry legally distinct from meat. snasty.substack.com/p/keith-floy...

snasty.substack.com/p/she-was-no... A daughter of the Pyramids, unimpressed by Stonehenge. Fair enough. Here's how the British working class invented the "day out", why we've turned it into a car-park ordeal, and why, done with mates, it can't be ruined. 👇

So is the Republican party aligned with North Korea now then?

He's not wrong.

Have you ever wondered what would happen if all the people on hold were able to speak to each other, well I have. This weeks essay. snasty.substack.com/p/the-loneli...

Why? Really, why? #Lloydsbank

About time.

Good. True & good.

open.substack.com/pub/snasty/p...

Just another day where a water company tells the people, and the government, to go screw themselves. Nationalise now.

Time to revisit festival season in Britain.

"No contact with the outside world," he posts, to the outside world, at 6:21 in the morning. Also the cannibal next door is presumably livid at being used as set dressing. Whatever's going on there, the phone signal's smashing.

That's the face of a man who's just been told the buffet's finished. Eyes like two boiled sweets in a sock. Sussex Police have gone and made a poster of the most alarmed man in Worthing. If you see him, he's already seen you, and he's just as surprised about it.

@chrisgpackham.bsky.social I'm half way through watching Evolution and it's outstanding. Love it. Informative and entertaining. Thank you Sir. www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m...

If they come to my city, I'm ready. You with me? :-) open.substack.com/pub/snasty/p...

Trickle-down at last made visible, and it trickles upward into a Gulfstream. He isn't even embarrassed, which is the point. The boast is the policy. Others were promised crumbs; his friend got wings, and the applause came from the very people paying for the fuel.

An artist whose eyes look down from fourteen storeys in Shenzhen. Matt Damon collects him. And his calling card is stuck to a railing above the Exeter bypass, facing a Holiday Inn Express. On My Dog Sighs, walking, and talking to strangers. open.substack.com/pub/snasty/p...

What's the point in interviewing people in Dubai saying how safe it is when it's illegal for them to say otherwise? #panorama #bbc

There is a word for demanding payment from every vessel that passes, and it is not guardianship. Every mafioso in history has called this fairness. Every navy that tried it has been called a pirate.

Fancy a lovely eulogy from me? Then don't be an absolute toad whilst you're alive. I'll not weep over the odious departing, however peaceful or horrific their end.

The Soul of Madrid is in a factory in Yorkshire. Coleman's is made in Germany. Bombay Sapphire is in Hampshire. Häagen-Dazs is from the Bronx. None of this is technically fraud. Which is its own kind of fraud. New piece. Link below. open.substack.com/pub/snasty/p...

Perfect.

The Cryptoad resigns to run against himself, calls it "people versus the establishment" whilst standing there in a tie made of tiny giraffes. "I've done nothing wrong" is what every toad croaks before it hops off the lily pad. He'll be back, sadly, like a verruca.

The people who say they loved England's flag most have made it hard to fly during a World Cup. New piece on how that happened, and why it's worth getting it back. open.substack.com/pub/snasty/p...

The wealthiest donkeys in recorded history live on 1,400 acres of Devon coast, funded to the tune of £59.6 million a year, and nobody has thought to ask where the money comes from. I asked. open.substack.com/pub/snasty/p...

@lewisgoodall.com #LBC Banbury has 6 Costa Coffee shops and 6 Greggs.

my god

There is a photograph doing the rounds of a pepper grinder charging from a power bank. The pepper is charging. I had some thoughts. open.substack.com/pub/snasty/p...

Well he's not wrong..! Trump claims Reflecting Pool was vandalized and says law enforcement is investigating | CNN Politics share.google/RxiNjI7WgwZu...