🏴‍☠️ Maddox 🏴‍☠️

Welcome to Bluesky! Where links aren't throttled, Nazis aren't coddled, and every few days, the logo remodeled.

"It was just a kiss."

Damn, that was fast.

History was made this week when a Tesla flipped intentionally.

After hearing Shane Gillis' monologue about how the gym was full of "whores," I hit an ATM and went to the gym. When I got there, the only person there was Shane. I think we all owe him an apology because I left with my balls completely drained, and he was very affordable. Idk what the big deal is

Wasn't expecting a real—let alone accurate—answer to this question, but sometimes AI knocks it out of the park.

AA Gate agent: Do you have the American Airlines app? Me: No, I'm fine actually, I'll just walk.

Wheel of Fortune: nightmare difficulty setting

Once again, @maddox.xmission.com is Always Roght

Finally ratioed Elon Musk.

Today I learned that there are a significant number FBI applicants who have been either tricked or forced into having sex with animals, but are also extremely qualified to become agents trusted with highly-sensitive data, requiring a reversal of a policy. Trans people still out though. Progressive!

Guys, I've been reading the news in chronological order since 2025 and just got to this cliffhanger. 20k HHS staff laid off?! Can't wait to see how this ends! NO SPOILERS!!!

There hasn't been a new junk-food game in a long time...

Evolution of Snapchat notifications: 2015: Tits! 2026: Turn on your notifications to receive the latest stories from Carl's Junior and American Airlines

The censorship of giphy continues. Searching for "trump epstein" or "epstein trump" showed the famous gif of them partying together. All of these gifs have been removed and the search-term has been white-washed. Same with January 6th gifs. They're trying to rewrite / bury history.

You can use pencil and paper to draw and write things the old-fashioned way, but at what cost? You're cheating yourself of the experience of using AI.

Hey guys, I'm in solitary confinement and they don't let me see anyone and the guy next to me is a cannibal but I'm also able to post on social media. Don't forget like and subscribe! 🙏✌️

According to the official CDC website, the best way to avoid getting explosive diarrhea is to avoid eating food with shit on it. Yes, this is real. Glad we have competent experts at the health department looking out for us.

It's been far too long, Americans deserve to know why Mitch McConnell has been a shitty senator his entire life.

I used to stream Fortnite on Twitch and experimented with turning the game feed into a giant "green screen" by keying out green and putting my face behind the footage. It was absolutely startling when people would forget and see my giant face pop up where grass or loot should be.

I keep seeing claims that Mitch McConnell has been declared brain dead. Cool but does anyone know why he's in the hospital?

Likelihood of Elon Musk's autocomplete suggesting the n-word over time

Tenuous peace talks with Iran this week to reopen the strait of reflection.

Ever ad from the 90s was like

Like him or hate him, you have to admit Elon Musk is now the world's dumbest bitch.

Why is it that people who like to deny, downplay and take credit for ending slavery never want to commemorate the ending of slavery?

Happy pride month!

I'm tired of people complaining about American healthcare. It's the best in the world as long as you don't get sick, disabled or old or have teeth or eyes you care about. Most people have two eyes, chill.

Like what…? Eating soup? bsky.app/profile/madd...

Lot of people shitting on Stephen Miller just because he's incredibly hateful, but you might be cranky too if you spent most of your life trying to prevent a couple of boys from throwing your ring into a volcano.

When you bomb a country, destroy their military and assassinate their president, then they don't agree to "peace talks," what bargaining chips do you have? It's kind of like threatening to shoot someone you've already shot. You have no chips. Art of the deal baby!

Guys, after carefully thinking about it, doing coke off a toilet seat, getting a brain parasite from eating road kill, getting mercury poisoning by eating too much tuna and becoming addicted to heroin in college, I have discovered the cause of autism: Tylenol.

Obviously @maddox.xmission.com, but I'm not gonna talk about him like he's not here.

Hey guys, I'm skipping my son's wedding today to discuss war plans for a war we already won three months ago to allegedly disarm a regime that was already disarmed last June. Everything is going fine.

The left is mad because despite all their protesting, they can't deny that life has become significantly better under this president for Americans who like to fuck children and Americans who are okay with those who do.

Every website: "Hi, I'm Fucko! I'll be your AI virtual assistant. Ask me anything!" Me: asking for literally anything Fucko: I can't help with that!

I like to make a meme with layers, as Rick Harrison has personally co-signed this bullshit.

Things that society has largely deemed acceptable behavior: -It's acceptable to torture mosquitoes to any degree -It's acceptable to bully the McDonald's CEO for eating wrong -It's acceptable to bully Cybertruck drivers

I'm deep in the trenches every day

On the front page of Reddit for this banger again. +24k

It has been almost 3 years to the day, and this is still one of the most embarrassing tweets ever made.

The more familiar you are with the inside of a Cybertruck, the less familiar you are with the inside of a woman.

When the framers of the constitution wrote the first amendment, they meant free speech except for a specific arrangement of sea shells in sand. If you arrange sea shells to represent four forbidden numbers, then you can be indicted by the entire force of the US federal government.

I've mostly migrated to other platforms, but I still mill about Twitter to shepherd my followers elsewhere, and to occasionally dunk on one of the most legendary losers on the planet.

Did you know that US Secretary of Commerce, Howard Lutnick, was not in his office in the World Trade Center on 9/11 because he took his son Kyle to school, narrowly missing death, which allowed him to visit Epstein's island in December of 2012?

Guy Fieri is the Joe Rogan of Food Network.

Breaking: US jobs numbers for month of March have been revised downward.