lumpyprol

everyone involved in making the walmart muppets christmas carol ad gets the wall

@morecivilized.bsky.social watch this space for more good homosexuality thoughts

I don't want to hear any whining about fixing certs from the information security types today. you chose to join the techno-priest caste, now shut up and perform the rites of exorcism

can't wait to see dune 3 ur mom dune 3 guys at once amirite

A Nathan Fielder, Lance Oppenheim, and James C. Scott production

it’s because you’re stupid and have bad taste #savedyouaclick

I worked for the school maintenance crew for one week, during which i shit my pants and had a goal post top bar dropped on my head

huh I really was not expecting the star trek khan podcast to pivot into a hardline anti-abortion story

you literally never need to tell me why you're canceling a meeting or asking for a meeting to be canceled. Yes, we can do that, and I am sorry and/or happy for you about whatever happened

Saw Digger, I'm really not sure how the Legendary Studios money men let themselves get conned into thinking even Tom Cruise could fill the seats for a Brechtian meta-story, but I'm glad they did

every battery power tool has two settings: * normal: good on battery, does nothing * turbo: actually works, drains battery in minutes

no one should be bringing water or iced coffee to job interviews, they should be BRING ME PICTURES OF SPIDER-MAN

on my terminal flight so it's edible time, learned my lesson good about trying to make connections while high

shut up shut up please shut up

are animorphs druids? thread locked by mods

ignore maha at your own peril. every single one of you should always be giving your full attention to every single group of people all of the time

village peasant that insists on pointing out every Feast Day that the Liturgical Calendar is an artificial construct meant to propagandize the Church

take an edible and a walk, undefeated

every time i have to listen to scott bessent speak

[me reading Bruce Catton's Army of the Potomac Trilogy]: Please, you've got to stop putting Burnside in charge of anything [Union leadership pointing at a military unit about to get totally wrecked]: That's Burnside's new command

Look at me, I am the US security partner now.

50/50 “its restraint” vs “the sailors all have scurvy because the pentagon said drinking orange juice is gay”

spent an amount of time i don’t wish to disclose thinking trump had been hidden in one of these instead of one of these

Signs 2002

every day is cats day when you're cats

"Today is August 5, 2026, today is August 5, 2026, today is August 5, 2026," the voice in the wall repeated, as the soft rains fell over a burnt-out walk in closet, where the last tender-mice placed mothballs in a lab coat pocket, draped over a black blouse. Only the costume would observe Halloween.

Turns out war is options trading by other means

if there's one thing i love more than life itself. it's my tawdry material possessions. 🤗

your worth isn't determined by your job, or how much money you make, it's how many books you've read and YOU ARE BEHIND

Terminator 2, 1991

Me waiting for Emily Wilson to review Assassin’s Creed: Odyssey.

I feel like now must be a very annoying time to be a physicist. "COMPUTER NERDS WARN MAYBE A ROBOT THEY IMAGINED COULD DESTROY THE WORLD AT SOME POINT IN THE FUTURE, PERHAPS." What are you, chopped liver? Give the field who became death, destroyer of worlds a little credit every now and again.

the most powerful words in the english language are probably "don't worry about that". the second most powerful words are "i doubt anything bad will happen." the third most powerful words are "if something goes wrong it's probably not even a big deal." 4th most powerful "ok this is totally fixable"

Steven Pacey

jolly green giant: the tank koolaid man: the escape route guy mr peanut: the money mr owl: the brains