Doglips

Infantry? They're sending a bunch of little babies out there??

pshhh remembering things that happened 15 to 20 mins ago? what am I a fucking scientist??

it's a striking moment in time. really hard to even get ones head around it. virtually everyone in a decisionmaking role has decided to shrug their shoulders and unleash automated processes with unknown function on the world with the best case scenario being: ending all human endeavor

Boy, this Hitler guy sounds like a real jerk!

Another gorgeous late summer day that I will be spending in a windowless room in service of the Almighty Dollar 🫡

Unbelievable that someone would smoke MARIJUANA in a place called Louis Armstrong Stadium

The bovine cardiologist says I have high cud pressure

[sighing, looking off into the distance] he's more spider now, than man

One super important thing to do with a cup of hot coffee is to spill it all over your hand

All the articles after the NY and MI primaries have been like "Why Democrats Who Win Elections Are Wrong for the Democratic Party"

people are always saying like "oh, you need to get out of your comfort zone" but have they considered that comfort zone is really nice?

Last night at the beach some boys were stacking rocks in the water, and I could tell one of them was tentatively giving himself permission to start saying the word "fuck"

Call me a damn cyclops the way I'm munching on these crackers!

[after pissing in my neighbor's pool, my expression quickly turning from relief to stern severity]: americans are concerned about the urine content of neighborhood pools

It's really handy when some "expert" says the word "warfighters" in an interview, bc I can say "oh, this person is a fascist" and view everything they say in that context

This is good, right?

My bedroom smells heavily like smoke even with an air purifier and AC set to recirculate. I love living in a hell world with leaders who promise to make it even more hellish

got covid through da mic call me rudy gobert

Shoutout to the guy on N 7th St this afternoon who saw a little confusion and started directing traffic with a 40 and a cig in his hand

We're on the road to browhere

Maybe today'll be the day

The Successful and Uneventful Voyage of the Edmund Fitzgerald

13 years ago I was drunk wow thank you google photos

putting the ass in jurassic park

this rock about to make kevin garnett play harder in the 2012 eastern conference finals

Some of you are too worried about your connection to the wifi, and not about your connection to your wife, aye!

This summer, we're blowing that loud all over the Midweedst, from Minnesmoka to Weedsconsin

[riding my bike to work and being, of anything, too deferential to vehicle traffic]: i'm mr. premium rush from the movie premium rush

do not go gently into that good night, but Honk! Honk! for robert mueller and the rule of law

water is lowkey goated when swimming is the move

It's wild that Broadway in Minneapolis has a bike boulevard designation. Esp between like Main and 14th Ave. I guess the right lane is a little wider than average, but there isn't even a painted bike lane, and the experience of riding there is awful bc drivers fucking HATE you

Someday having such poor short term recall is really going to get me in trouble. Or maybe it already has, I don't know

Reading the news.

Watergate II: Nixon's Revenge

Fascists thrive in a heavily scripted, carefully constructed simulation of reality in which anti-social behavior is often rewarded. Reality TV is the minor league of Fascism.

wife shagged a celt, call that the cuck 'o the irish

dipping a communion wafer in a nice sriracha lime aioli

"immaculate conception" is really just a polite way of saying that no cum was involved

I was not meant to work today I was meant to breathe the fresh air and admire the flowers and feel the sun on my face

Every airport gate is furnished with a man who has a very wet sounding cough

happy wifi happy lifi

jon voight is martin sheen's waluigi

if we just pour all of human knowledge and sensory experience into the computer something good will happen(?)

I hate the smug 😏 emoji. Don't fucking look at me like that

Fuck Pete Stauber forever

Want 2 free tickets to see Japanese trumpeting great Takuya Kuroda this Thu. (tomorrow!) at the Dakota? Hit repost for a chance to win!

???

The National Weather Service is issuing a Thirsty Thursday warning which will begin early tomorrow evening, possibly extending into the early morning Friday