CrazyFeralCatLady

I just know my soulmate out there also never leaving their house.

Nothing ruins the morning like gaining consciousness

How very imprudent of me to start a book after 9pm.

That awkward moment when you

One of the ultimate joys of reading books is you can pick up a 19th century novel and the main character is spiraling over the same existential dread that I felt this morning. Different clothes, same crises. I can't think of anything more comforting than that.

We all want someone who can find us on the other side of everything else

Hate when someone figures out my password and I have to rename my cat

So rude, you reach under the bathroom stall to help tie a shoe and don’t even get a thank you

Full of cheddar cheese and prose.

I need more credit for the massive amount of restraint I employ for not correcting someone when they use the wrong *your* in their social media post. Especially if that person thought they were being snarky or clever.

She was thrilling, like a fall down the stairs.

I'd flirt with you, but I just started to like myself.

screaming isnt enough i need to turn completely inside out

Buying burlap panties from Tractor Supply™️.

unconditional love and other superpowers

Who up feeling down

Oh, you contain multitudes? I contain platitudes, attitudes, lassitudes, ineptitudes, ingratitudes and turpitudes.

Humor requires intelligence, which is why idiots always take it personally.

Hang up my pic in your Bluesky locker so I know it’s real

My wedding reception will have a Poptart tower and an open ketamine bar.

I'm taking up recreational screaming

Get you some toffee coffee creamer guys. Life changing shit right there.

5 Star Banger 🚨 Cat & Mouse thriller with an unhinged fmc? Yes, please!

Curiosity is currency

Early Autumn is my heroine.

Twilight on in the background. Fall candle lit. Window open. The perfect thriller book in my hands. Life is fucking alright atm.

"We're all wounded. We carry our wounds around with us through life, and eventually they kill us."

If you were chanting "Donna Martin Graduates" it's time to schedule a colonoscopy.

📍 in bed, watching BH 90210 reruns.

The less you know me, the better I sleep at night.

the unblemished truth of a seemingly endless sky

Awareness is a curse

Imagine hating me and I'm just...yeah that checks out actually

All roads lead from "save for later" to "buy now"

Currently reading

Sushi, ordered. Sheets, clean. Shower, everything. Movie, queued.

And for the lady, perhaps an early fall?

Sometimes you just need a fork, a cheesecake and poor coping skills.

I'm 48. And guess what? It's ohfuckingkay that I look 48. Wrinkles, creases, smoke lines, laugh lines, sun spots.. I earned every damn one of them. Proudly.

The quiet, quiet loneliness of living every day waiting for the tragedy to finally happen.

And for my next trick, I will forget what I’m saying mid-sentence

People have no idea how much I will actually inconvenience myself to avoid something.

bonjour mélancolie