Kelly__le

Pinned from the other place: I spent 5 min. in the dark trying to get my charger in my phone. I'm embarrassed & I feel like I owe some dudes from high school an apology.

Billy Corgan continues to be insufferable.

Ma’am, I would like to eat my strawberry cake in peace. #lucypancakes

I don’t like Snoopy. He’s cocky. I will be not be elaborating at this time.

I think I’m all mature and grown up and then I do stuff like replace the word heart with fart on every song I hear.

They’re shutting down horse and carriage rides in NYC. Sorry guys, you’ll have to think of some other super romantic way to breathe in hot diarrhea air

I wish I knew how to say things.

Oh no! You just got passed by a girl butthole!

Taco Bell warning about the wild ride your asshole is about to go on.

Don’t forget to get your early voting done!!!! Unless you’re voting for racism, fascism, and pedophiles…maybe sit this one out. 💙💙🌊🌊💙💙

No thank you

Sometimes you just have to make your own ornaments for your Halloween tree. 🖤 #Nadja #WhatWeDoInTheShadows

If he dies today, you guys, I’ll make yall a strawberry cake.

Him “I have health insurance & a 750 credit score” Me:

I’ve never seen a movie with Owen Wilson in it. I love that for me.

If “Islands in the Stream” comes on in the car and you don’t know your part, you’re fuckin walking.

sorry for all the mean things i said while we were waiting for the pizza to get here

Just saw a guy with bleached tips on the end of a long ponytail. I sure hope he’s ready for me to do the sex on top of him.

Friend: “Jim Bakker died” Me: “Yeah. I thought he was already dead. I’ve moved on.”

Kid Rock makes music for people who like to smell their own farts.

I’m wearing all denim, of course I’m ready for intercourse.

#BrandonFlowers was perfect. ❤️ I’ve seen The Killers many times but I’ve waited to see Brandon solo for 16 years. I waited for hours in the rain, I screamed along with every song & danced with my son dancing next to me, & I cried a little. Getting to see your favorite never gets old. ❤️

WE ALL HAVE TO VOTE BLUE FOR CHANGE.......💙

Bill O’Reilly looks like a scrotum.

If you wear a Jesus shirt with a cross made of nails, I assume you beat your wife.

Ok there, Jesus of Methlehem

There’s a car next to me that has one headlight, no hood, and it’s riding on a donut. I’m functioning the same way, my dude.

I would be easily kidnapped with a van that says “potatoes in various forms inside”

Take heed cuz I’m a lyrical poet

I just remembered a time when I saw a woman flossing her teeth with her hair. That’s all. Have a great day you guys.

I don’t need therapy, I just need to listen to Mr. Roger’s explain how crayons are made.