John O’Farrell

Forty years ago today I got my first sketch broadcast on telly. After years of failing to make it as a writer, I sent a weather map quickie into Spitting Image, and was amazed to see they actually broadcast it that week.

A broken clock is right twice a day. The clock on the microwave is right for six months of the year.

I will be interviewing the great Alf Dubs at this event in Clapham on Tuesday 10th November. Hope to see you there. www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/launch-of-...

I was feeling pretty rubbish about my writing and my career… And then I left the house. This is what happened next (honestly, it's quite cool. and possibly helpful?) andreamann.com/blog/how-i-g...

Best movie of the awards season so far! Great to see Jesse Eisenberg talking about his amazing film The Debut. Julian Moore is fantastic! Catch it if you can.

Today’s view from my office balcony is brought to you by the colour Red.

Happy 100th Birthday Winnie the Pooh, old pal. This is you - with me as Christopher Robin at the Phoenix Theatre, London - back when you were only 46.

Fulham are being really punished by this rule that football games are 90 minutes long and not 85. #FFC

Dear tv and radio producers. Thankyou for the invitation. But, no, I do not want to appear on your show to defend the idea that I am English, after 50 years of living and working here, because the increasingly feral right want to turn this into a "debate" and you cannot see how you're being played

I know the prisons are really full, but I'm sure they can squeeze just one more in?

I don't think that Redwood realises that he's spent his entire political life representing the Norman governing class.

Great book launch for @alfdubs.bsky.social last night, celebrating the publication of his long-awaited memoir. From fleeing the Nazis on the Kindertransport to becoming a Labour hero and champion of today's child refugees. A book to restore your faith in politics. www.waterstones.com/book/the-boy...

NARRATOR (in May 2027): “No one did visit Rwanda”

Second preview of the Mrs Doubtfire musical last. Only slightly interrupted by 1700 emergency alerts going off in the auditorium.

I did have a credible security threat, but you don't know her, she goes to a different school.

Hey 18 year olds, don’t worry about disappointing A level results. Lots of my generation got bad grades, but we still managed to add enormous fees for your university education, price you out of the housing market and ruin the planet before we leave it to you.

Not affordable.

People of Clacton! Show your support for me by putting a bin outside your house, one day this week, of a colour of Tendring Council's choice. This will be unequivocal proof of the success of my campaign.

Norris McWhirter would be so conflicted.

just 14 more heatwaves until Christmas

It takes a special kind of idiot to light a barbecue on the tinderbox that is Clapham Common right now.

Mrs O’F defacing the posh magazine in this hotel lounge… “Go to your local state school, they are very good.”

Just For One Day, the Live Aid Musical will be touring the UK early next year. Check this schedule to see if it is coming to a town near you - if not I will personally arrange for Bob Geldof to come round to your house and swear at you in your front room. theliveaidmusical.com

With Labour winning the Manchester mayoral election, the final piece of the transition from Starmer to Burnham has been successfully accomplished. The whole process was done very effectively without the division, defeats and chaos and that many predicted. Labour, I barely recognise you.

Infantino should have to stand for re-election to FIFA - but just against Count Binface.

Not yet August and the swifts have gone 😥

Once again I have been left off the Booker long list, as it continues to discriminate against people who haven't written a novel recently.

Not sure this is actually a news story BBC. I think it's just called 'marriage'.

The first thing Andy Burnham must do is take action on that thing that is really important to me. © All Columnists

Congratulations Spain!

Shocking scenes at the end of the game. Micah Richards just said Argentina had one less player, not one fewer.

I think it is an example our excellent manners that England is the only country to have won the World Cup just once.

DATE NIGHT! Me and Gary Delaney were very lucky to see Something Rotten last night at Manchester Opera House and absolutely loved it. Great songs, so funny AND tap dancing! Well done Jason Manford, Richard Fleeshman, Marisha Wallace and the whole cast. Last show today, grab a ticket if you can.

At least England fans are all agreed on one thing. Their own tactics and team selection would have won the game.

Anyway, both sides played well and all the chaps had a good runaround in the fresh air and that’s the main thing.

Oh this is weird - I had a feeling that England might win the World Cup but now there is a crushing feeling of disappointment. Well I have absolutely never felt this before.

Arise, Sir Djed Spence!

I am interviewing official-national-treasure Miriam Margolyes on Aug 2nd in Clapham. If tickets seem expensive, that's because it's basically a very fun way to make a generous donation to Omnibus Theatre to support all its amazing work. Hope to see you there! www.omnibus-clapham.org/whatson/in-c...