Your cousin, *Marvin Darwin*!

The Peach Boys

The Spice Bags

The Mamas and the Popovers

Kraftdinnerwerk

XTSeeds (you can eat some seeds)

Presidents of the United Steaks of America

Thigh Meat Be Giants

The Meatles

The Monkeys (I think it's okay to eat primates)

Really lusting after the cardigan in my weirdly ironic dream last night. It was bought for me by the fictional brother of noted feminist Shane Gillis for some reason. Then my friend Mitch gave me a big hug, and Paul F. Tompkins used the f-slur in my direction, but assured me he was being ironic.

From the @danandjay.com archives. My supposed progenitor, Jarrick Manstuff, one of the original Jays. I will be taking a lot of sandpaper to this eventually.

Say what you want about JD Vance.

Spookier how? It looks like Tim Burton's cousin Mark decided to direct a panto of A Christmas Carol. Look at the dumb shit look on this mook's face.

When the gummy hits (I am very sensitive to substances)

Bill Nighy the Science Gughy

If You Hear Any Noise It's Just Me and the Boys Improvising Sorry www.redbubble.com/shop/ap/1848...

Just finished my twelfth book. Woop!

Sorry to disappoint you, but you aren't so busy that you "need" AI to respond to emails for you. Building your life around a new technology just because it's there makes you a fucking dipshit, especially if it's common knowledge that it is an environmental and creative and intellectual nightmare.

YES. JESUS CHRIST YES. ITS ONLY BEEN AROUND 3 YEARS. WE DON'T NEED IT. www.techspot.com/news/114234-...

DM: Possession. RB: Now, read the card to us, and then reveal your possession. (DM takes out a long case) DM: This is my rifle. There are many like it, but this one is mine. My rifle is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as I must master my life. My rifle, without me, is useless... With

I'm in on because make the global for crypto I want to biggest impact good.

I'm always late to the discourse, but I've never done standup, but I guarantee I already have an hour of notes labeled #standup that would make anything Shane Gillis has ever done look like a bucket of piss.

Man, I went to the comedy club the other day and I guess it's been a while, because...apparently dudes dress like Adam Sandler's favorite cumrag now? And you can't look. Seriously, don't stand there and stare and masturbate in public to a screaming orgasm, because that's "not woke" now, I guess.

RFK Jr is one of the worst people to ever wield power in US government. Eternal shame on anyone who has ever elevated him.

The discourse around "perfect" pieces of art has given dumb shits a way to feel smart, and is now enabling this false quest for AI to "create" mathematically perfect "art." I am looking forward to loving the absolute dumbification of art because it will be dumb as fuck, but with purpose.

Whistles work! New York, get some whistles.

new wolfenstein looks like shit

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck

Quoth the Raven: "That's so me."

The latest victim of my writing schedule is... @dereksherry.bsky.social! Derek is from Dan and my hometown, and young enough to be our child. Derek is also the ONLY other person from Laurens to be in entertainment. Pretty much. Except their brother. This was FUN! Sorry for the delay.

Finished my first screenplay in years today. Woooooooo

My great uncle Pepperdine invented the fecesal, the slogan for which was "don't you dare piss in it." #familyhistory

During bi visibility month I feel it important to say that my mom was disappointed when I came out to her. She was very much hoping and assuming I'd turn out to be gay. This is true. Love my weird mom.

You’re right—that plane shouldn’t have gone there. That’s my fault, and I should have made sure there wasn’t a terminal in the landing path. Would you like me to call emergency services, or assist with lining up takeoffs?

One of the great joys of my life was Gore Vidal doing his impression of Truman Capote for @vpmattsaxe.bsky.social and I at Vidal's house in LA. My great regret is not turning on the camera for it, and forgetting everything he said in the whiniest, pissiest little Capote voice you could ask for.

Dan and Jay’s Comedy Hour Episode 318 - Glenmorangie's Dark Place EPISODE: djch.xyz/glenmorangie Dan and Jay talk about such and things. This episode is brought to you by the Michigan Renaissance Festival, Mudita Kompakt Minimalist Phones and WristBandBros.com. #DJCH

A year ago today, @dangomiller.bsky.social and I performed live together for the first time in the (then) 32 years of @danandjay.com, followed by a month-long museum display of mostly fake artifacts from the group's history. Museum companion book to come soon. #sketch #improv #live #comedy

To quote my good buddy Josh: That's another [book] written. (He's written over 250 novels, I'll have to settle for ten or whatever this is. Feels good!) (No one paid me to write this one - into the agent gauntlet!)

nice to e-meet you

Dan and Jay’s Comedy Hour Episode 317 – Fuck You, It’s Art EPISODE: djch.xyz/fuckyouitsart Dan and Jay from forever ago chatty chat chat about all kinds of shit. This episode is brought to you by the Michigan Renaissance Festival, Mudita Kompakt Minimalist Phones and WristBandBros.com. #DJCH

Also just saw this and you get another "fuck yeah" from me

Picked this up at the local bookstore today and just noticed a bit of white gloss peeking from under the dust cover's edge, which got me curious. Wow. Really excellent book design for this project, @jasonklamm.com

Ep. 34 is LIVE! Author, voice actor, and sketch comedian @jasonklamm.com talks about his new book, "Ferris Bueller: You're My Hero"...and it is the most definitive "making of" book I have EVER read! podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/t... #FerrisBueller #80sMovies #80sPopCulture #JohnHughes

Is there a website out there that's like a non-tinfoil-hat version of BoingBoing? That was my only internet salve for a time. Now there is none.

For the last five years I've been monitoring the email address j_u_k_t@yahoo.com. If this means anything to you, you're a weird little nerd.

Writers know this but in my experience normies do not: Printed book sales are healthy! www.nytimes.com/2025/12/30/b...